The topic may take you by surprise, but I have some good reasons. First, dances were one good way for people to meet in a social situation. As members of a volunteer infantry company, we have left our homes to join the fight. We would know how to act at such occasions, whether or not we chose to dance at them. Second, balls are possibly one of the worst displayed impressions of Civil War life to the general public. At the urging of Sarah Kirschensteiner, I have been doing some reading on the subject and will be changing some of my ball going habits as a result.
1. Dress: You should attend a ball in the cleanest, best uniform available to you at the time. Dress jackets such as frocks, shells or roundabouts are preferable to sack coats. Still, wearing your sack coat neatly if it is all you own is acceptable. Good manners will absolutely make up for only possessing a fatigue coat. Wear your vest. Etiquette manuals of the period suggest having two pairs of white gloves with you. Gloves are to show you care for the ladies by not soiling them or the beautiful dresses they wear and should be worn at all times during a ball except when you are consuming food or drink. NO enlisted man should wear a waist belt or other leathers or equipment. This (including the belt) is field wear and has no place at a ball. Officers and senior NCO's may wear their sashes (in fact it is very appropriate) and officers may wear their belts, however, I suggest removing all sword holding implements, if possible. Swords or other weapons are definitely not allowable.
2. Footwear: We have this concept of the dashing cavalier from the Civil War. Officers (and men alike) look handsome in their boots. This may be true, but a ball is a situation where ladies are present. Boots worn over the pants are considered out of door wear, which should be avoided if possible. Wearing brogans or dancing shoe is a first option, or wearing them inside your trousers is a second option. If high boots are all you possess and they mush be worn outside the pant, make sure they're clean (same idea as wearing a sack coat) but be sure NO BLACKING WILL RUB OFF ON A LADY'S DRESS, lest you be embarrassed and paying for a cleaning bill.
Also, if you can, no heel plates please. You won't fall and hard wood floors won't be scratched up. If you don�t have period footwear without heel plates, you should use thick tape, such a duct tape, to cover the metal with. Cover the bottom and sides of your heel plates. Look around, duct tape can be purchased in black. Hob nails should be avoided all together.
3. Deportment: In a nutshell, act like the soldiers and gentlemen you are. Wear your gloves. Bow to your partner before and after a dance. When escorting a lady, she should be on your right side unless a hazard (such as a road) is to that side. Then, protect her by giving her your other arm.
When dancing and you hold a lady's hand, it should always rest on top of yours. Hold lightly, don't grasp firmly. If you need to hold on tight, chances are the two of you are dancing too aggressively. Remember fellows, ballroom not barn floor!
It is not appropriate for men or women to clap or, more importantly, stomp their feet in time to the music. This comes from the frontier and refined gentle men and women would not be caught doing such a thing in a proper ball. This is new information to me and one area I have to watch. In general, if it feels like it's from a hoe down, avoid it.
4. Further reading: I have an excellent reprint on an etiquette manual called "Civil War Era Etiquette" published by R. L. Shep. Let me know if you want to borrow it. I purchased it from the Smithsonian and I know many sutlers carry it as well. Sarah Kirschensteiner also has an excellent book called "From the Ballroom to Hell." The Citizen's Companion published and article about a year ago called "No Buffaloes, Please." I recommend all of these sources.
I'll look forward to seeing you at a ball some time this year.
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