We had the meanest mom in the
world! While other kids ate
candy for breakfast, we had
to have cereal, eggs and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and
a Twinkie for lunch, we had
to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mom fixed
us a dinner that was
different than what other kids
had too.
Mom insisted on knowing where
we were at all times. You'd
think we were convicts in a
prison. She had to know who our
friends were and what we were
doing with them.
She insisted that if we said
we would be gone for an hour,
we would be gone for an hour
or less.
We were ashamed to admit it,
but she had the nerve to
break the child labor laws by
making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make
the beds, learn to cook,
vacuum the floor, do laundry
and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at
night thinking of more
things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling
the truth--the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were
teenagers, she could read our
minds, and life was really tough.
She wouldn't let our friends
just honk the horn when
they drove up.
They all had to come up to the
door so she could meet them.
We never got to date either.
We always had to go out with
a group of
friends... that she approved
of. Imagine that!
Because of our mom, we missed
out on lots of things other
kids experienced. None
of us have ever been caught
shoplifting, vandalizing property,
or cheating on exams.
We were never arrested for any
crime.
It was all her fault. We
were never involved in immoral
or questionable activities,
and we have the utmost
respect for people of the opposite
sex.
We never got drunk, took up
smoking, stayed out all night
or a million other things the
other kids got to do.
Sundays were reserved for church,
and we never missed
once. We knew better than to
ask to spend the night with
a friend on Saturday.
Now that we have left home, we
are all God-fearing,
educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be
mean parents just
like our mom was.
The world just doesn't have enough mean moms anymore.
