Your Out Of Food
You are what? Out of food? Hold
on there, buddy! Did I hear you correctly? No cans food? What gives? What
kind of screw up is THAT? What do you mean you forgot to pick up some cat
food at the store?
No big deal you say? You'll go to
the store later? No. you'll get your keys right now and go. I'll wait right
here by the food bowl! Of course the big owner can't hear me. I hate
it, when that happens.
Human brains may be bigger, but
sure aren't smarter. This is a major downside of owning humans. They sometimes
forget to buy you cat food. This is a cat-astrophic blunder. And they try
to cover for it by setting down human food to hold me over. A chopped up
hot dog? Too rich for me!
A shredded hamburger maybe?
If they can kill a human imagine
what it would do to a cat! They've tried it all over the years: Mashed
potatoes, burritos, rice, corn, ham, baloney, pizza, spaghetti, garlic
bread, even chinese food. Hey, drop what you are doing and get me those
meat and poultry byproducts, animal liver, titanium dioxide, ferrous and
copper sulfate, cobalt carbonate, with a dash of folic acid.
I salivate at the thought of crude
protein and fat dancing across m kitty snout. I love the smell of potassium
lodide in the morning. That's it! I'm getting new humans! This happens
far too many times for a cat of my pedigree to...wait...the human kids
have found something...french fries from last night stuck in the couch.
Did I hear them say chocolate, too? This is not going to be a total loss
after all. If I put some more I might be able to manage a small bowl of
ice cream...my favorite.
It was a good day
Written by Mark Mason If you are interested
in getting monthly cat diary go to
[email protected] and ash him to put you on his list
