I would leave for work for
a couple of hours in the early
morning. All the family
would be sleeping peacefully when I left.
Every morning, I would step
in a land mine or pee spot, that was
strategically placed, where
Sheena KNEW I would step in it.
One morning I came home,
and could not push the door open. I
couldn't understand what
was going on. I rang the door bell till
the cows came home, and
Frank was sleeping so peacefully, he did
not hear me (or he was afraid).
I finally climbed through
a window, and LO and BEHOLD! All my
clothes were strewn
on the floor, some chewed beyond
recognition. More poop to
almost step in (HA, HA, Sheena didn't
get me that time, she had
bigger fish to fry). There was garbage
scattered everywhere. She
pulled all my shoes out of the closet
(managed to open it some
how), and barricaded the door shut with
most of them, but snacked
on the expensive Italian leather ones.
She had a fight to the death
with my down comforter, and pillows.
She pulled out all the groceries
from the cupboards. She ate all
the soap, shredded a huge
bag of toilet paper, ate her leash (I
was leash training her at
the time, and she figured she would
tell me what she thought
of that).
Funny, Frank's stuff was
virtually untouched, he never did any
training with her, so she
had no grudge against him.
After standing there in shock
for a couple of minutes (may have
been hours, but I was too
shocked to know the difference), I
freaked out. I ran into
the bedroom to see what the hell was
going on, and why Frank
didn't do anything. Upon entering the
bedroom, I saw this fat
Rottie butt, trying to squeeze itself
under the bed. There was
Frank, sleeping like a baby.
It was so bizarre to see
total peace and tranquility, amongst the
total destruction...
It was like Frank was sleeping in the eye of a hurricane.
There was so much more damage
done in Sheena's first year, as
well as her corruption of
Damian as well. Before she came into my
life, he was an exceptionally
well trained dog. He was house
broken, and never got into
the garbage, or chewed things. He did
not even dig at all.
I remember going into our
yard to check up on them, as they were
MUCH too quiet. I thought
there was a dust storm happening, but
upon closer inspection,
I saw the real menace. There are Sheena
and Damian digging themselves
to China. I could have fit a car in
that hole! They had dug this spectacular hole! Sheena had positioned
it so strategically, you could not see it in the dark, at all. You also
had no
choice but to step where
it was located, since the screen door
had to be pulled back that
far, and you had to back into the hole to get in the door.
Did I mention our land lord
fell into this hole one evening after it had rained?
This hole was so well engineered
that it retained many gallons of water as well.
Now I do miss this all, in
a demented sort of way. The years fly
by so quickly, and then
one day, you suddenly realize that they
are getting old. A sadness
fills you, because you know their days
are numbered, and you would
sell your soul to have them as bratty
puppies again. Shoes, fabrics,
furniture, and garments can be
easily replaced, but they
will only ever be here once.
It sounds far fetched, but
trust me, you will feel that way
someday.
Damage survey for the first three months with Sheena
Amongst the damages I ensued were...
Pair of $600 prescription
glasses
-Anklet I got for Valentine's day. I looked in her poop for days, but never
did
find it. Never even wore it.
-Dresser drawer, and contents of it. Had slivers in my feet for days.
-Underside, and legs of the bed. Eventually broke on us, while we were
in it.
She had to come and investigate the damages. She galloped back outside
happily, after she finished the inspection.
-Excavated large holes in back yard, which our land lord, and several other
victims fell into. Nobody thought it was very funny, except the Grumps.
-Brought a large, maggot infested carcass into our bed, while we were sleeping.
-Ate my $150 designer sweat shirt.
-Ate and buried several hundreds of dollars worth of shoes while I thought
she
was out playing. She was in reality, stealing the shoes from the racks,
and
desecrating them. I thought she looked so gleeful when she would come in
for a
drink. She was...
-She corrupted Damian, and brainwashed him into helping her destroy everything.
-Ate father in law's wheelbarrow, while she was out "playing". The wooden
handles were just the right height for her to sit in front of it, and chew.
It
looked rather adorable to see her doing this, Frank's father didn't seem
to
think so. The wheelbarrow is ours now.
-Ate two years of my income tax files, that had not been submitted. Picture
me explaining that one to those very nice people...
-The Biggest insult yet. On other people's advise, we started crating her.
Well,
she ate that too. She looked more gleeful about that particular item.
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