Hey honey ...  Did you have some of my dinner?

When Cerberus was a young dog I felt really bad about crating her all day while we were at work.  When I

was a kid we always put the dog in the garage when we weren't home and at night so I thought Cerberus
might enjoy all the freedom the garage would provide during the weekdays.  We lived in Southern
California at the time so the temperature was never an issue.  She loved it all right!  One day I came home
for lunch and opened the door from the garage to the house to find large, foamy, gray puddles about the
size of dinner plates in about 5 different places on the floor.  She had eaten the drywall from the floor up,
as far as her mischievous little nose could reach, and then vomited it up.  It scared me to death and I rushed
her to the vet.  This happened shortly after she snuck a drink of ocean water from a tidepool on a jetty at
the beach and got a parasite.

She was such a sneaky puppy, which earned her the nickname "weasel".  She was fast as lightning when it
came to getting some food.  My husband, being a creature of habit, would prepare his food and set it down
on the coffee table while he went back into the kitchen to make something to drink (or vice-versa).  So many
times he came back to find what he'd left partially eaten (like he wouldn't notice).  She knew he'd be
coming back so she was long gone and hiding by that time.  Have you ever seen bite marks in a bowl of ice
cream?  Found your glass of chocolate milk  half drunk with splashes of it all around?  Then she got brave
and started doing "drive-by's".  I guess she figured we learned not to leave stuff lying around... We were
eating pizza one evening, sitting on the floor in the family room and she walked by right in front of me and
snagged a bite of it right out of my hand!  If you went to the drive-thru to get food and were eating in the
car with Cerberus in it, watch out!  She was so sneaky and her timing was perfect.  She'd wait until just
the right moment when you'd just raised the food to your mouth and she'd take a bite out of it.  She knew
you couldn't see her!  I'd made stew another night and we were eating it at the table and the stew was still
in a pot on the stove.  We heard Cerberus barf and both of us went into the kitchen.  There were large
chunks of carrot, potato and gravy on the floor that she'd just barfed up.  We both blamed each other for
giving the dog stew.  Neither one of us did, she just helped herself!  Apparently it was too hot for her
liking.

Rommel and Cerberus got into lots of trouble if left alone in the yard.  We rented a very small house for a
few months when my husband first got out of the Marines.  We kept the dogs in the house during the day
because right on the other side of the chain-link fence was a schoolyard full of children who had nothing
better to do than throw rocks at and tease our dogs.  (And people wonder why some dogs bite children.)  On
the weekends, however, the dogs hung out in the yard a lot during the day to get fresh air.  That's when
they dug their best holes!  The neighbors behind us had some kind of little fluff dog that drove Cerberus
nuts.  In the summer of 1993 the St. Louis area was devastated by floods.  Creeks that were usually dry were
flooding into people's homes and one of our friends' houses was in danger of flooding.  We were out most of
the afternoon and pretty late into the night digging trenches and filling sandbags to help out.  The next
morning the dogs wanted to go outside early and I let them out in the yard and went back to bed.  The
neighbor rang the doorbell all frantic and asked me to bring the dogs in the house right away!  I
immediately went to the back to let them in and saw that Cerberus had almost dug her way out of our yard
and into the neighbors to get the fluff dog.  Only her butt and stubby tail were in our yard.  That was a
close one!  In the 6 months we lived at that rented house they did plenty of damage.  We had to fill all the
holes they dug and sow grass seed, we also had to replace some of the asbestos siding Cerberus either broke
off with her bowling ball or the dogs had eaten.  Digging holes is also dirty work so we had to re-paint one
side of the house where they'd marked their turf with muddy paw print graffiti.  It's amazing that they did
most of their damage at either military base housing or  rental property.

Written by Sharon Wehlermann on July 29, 2000
 

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