'His Airness,' King of the Afterlife?
"Like Mike, if I could be like Mike...I wanna be, I wanna be...like Mike."
Sing along if you'd like. I always do.
In fact, just the other day, I found myself singing my own rendition Gatorade jingle out loud, relating to it my own failed hoop dreams. There I was, lounging in front of my TV with a case of Pepsi on my right, the remote control to my left and Michael Jordan's Playground playing in my VCR for the 10 th time this month.
Tears started to form in my slightly inebriated eyes. I think I even started to get the shakes as I gazed at MJ hitting "The Shot" over Craig Ehlo. You see, I was going through withdrawl - NBA withdrawl, that is.
The NBA was to have started playing its regular season Tuesday night. Unfortunately, because of some major disagreements in the collective bargaining agreement negotiations between NBA players and owners, the earliest teams can begin play is December.
There I sat, a broken man, a broken Bulls fan, nay, a broken MJ fan. With the possibility of Jordan retiring after the negotiations end, I pondered what I will tell my grandchildren about the demise of the greatest sports dynasty ever, or of MJ, the greatest warrior of all time. Dare I say, a man greater than Odysseus, Gilgamesh, or even Zeus himself.
We're constantly reminded about his six NBA championships (two three-peats), six NBA Finals MVP awards and a multitude pf scoring titles; and this is only a very small fraction of his lifetime achievements. I'm told only Ali and Pele have preceded "His Airness" in capturing the love and attention of our entire planet.
The man single-handedly defeated the Jazz for the NBA crown - twice! Let's not forget his triumphant performances while enduring sickness and adversity, or his well-documented wars with the Knickerbockers of New York.
Sure, MJ had his "Jordanaires," or more recently, his "supporting cast" for assistance. Scotie Pippin, Horace Grant, and Dennis Rodman have been key figures to the Bulls' success in past years.
But without "Baby Jesus," as Mike North of the SCORE sports radio in Chicago has dubbed him, the Bulls, the NBA and the world as we know it would not be the same.
Eventually teh tape ran out, and unable to remove myself from the chair I call "The Throne," with the remote control lost somewhere in the darkened room, I started watching a psychic show, something like "Sightings." The program featured the prophecies of Nostradamus and it talked of the coming of a third Anti-Christ. Apparently, two of the three Anti-Christs, Napolean and Hitler, already have revealed themselves.
"Nothing really matters because the end of the world may be here soon," a close friend sadly informed me. "In the year 2000, the computer bug will hit, and then watch out."
According to Nostradamus believers, the Anti-Christ will be someone who is generally not thought of as a threat. The person will make preparations for years, just building power and resources. "It will not matter that he is not a native of the country."(Nostradamus). When the political atmosphere is just right, the Anti-Christ will start his/her ascent to power.
Ghost-like narrations blared above the pictures of men and women acting out these ancient prophecies, and I realized the year 2000 is less than two years away. That has to mean the Anti-Christ is looming, silently anticipating his next move. Who could it be? Marilyn Manson? He had an album titled Anti-Christ Superstar. Could he be the chosen one? No, if anything, I'd assume he's a nigh-loving vampire or demon of some sort. But he's too flagrant with his preachings against Catholicism and/or Jesus Christ. Could it be Bill Gates? He has enough money and technology to have more files about regular civilians than the CIA or FBI. However, if anything, he'd probably be an archangel of death. It seems to mehis intentions are only to monopolize and control the entire North American continent. With the U.S. government already investigating him, his candidacy for the Anti-Christ seems highly unlikely. Nostradamus prophesied that the Anti-Christ would appear as a non-threat. The idea of Gates was too easy.
Saddam Hussein? Not if George Bush was able to call the final shots that woudld overwhelm Saddam's troops in what seemed to be less than a week. Bush couldn't get the whole. "Read my lips" thing right, he's not going to overthrow a satanic overloard.
Then it hit me.
"Say it ain't so," I begged myself. But I had no alternative. MJ, my hero and idol since as long as is worth remembering, is the best Anti-Christ candidate alive today. The idea sounds blasphemous, until one looks at the facts.
"I think he's God disguised as Michael Jordan," Larry Bird said after MJ demoralized Bird during the '86 NBA Playoffs by scoring 63 points.
I'm willing to bet one would find more MJ posters hanging on walls across the United States than crucifixes or other religous paraphernalia. Anything Jordan touches turns to gold. Since Jordan came into the league, the rich have eliminated true die-hard Bulls fans from even gaining a glimpse of the sports icon in live action. Many people still have not been able to "bear witness" to the miracle shots which Jordan makes with ease.
Physics are ou the window when you speak of Jordan. Gravity has no effect on him. While the biblical parables say Christ was able to walk on water, Jordan flies through the air. That's just the beginning.
Jordan does not have fans, he has worshippers. Think back to his early days and the "Wings" poster. The poster shows Jordan with both arms raised to his side. This portrayal of MJ is very similar to Christ's outstreched arms on a crucifix.
How about the "No Bull" poster which featured the triumvirate of Jordan, Pippen, and Rodman. This image symbolizes the Catholic teaching of the Holy Trinity, three gods all one being, HMMM...
If one looks even further, there are more subtle signs proving this hypothesis. Traditionally, 666 is the mark of Satan.
Jordan's jersey number is 23. For the mathematically challanged, two times three equals six - the first six. Jordan also is 6 feet, 6 inches - the two additional sixes needed to complete the 666 analogy.
MJ also has six championships, six NBA Finals MVP awards and if you divide the number of scoring titles he holds - 12 - by two, you have - you guessed it - another six. Yep, another 666 combination.
Who could forget Spike Lee as Mars. It's gotta be the shoes? How did these shoes come to possess such mystical powers? Then came the more recent ads following the Space Jam phenomena. One commercial portrated MJ soaring toward a hoop hundreds of feet above the ground. He dunked with ease. Jordan later scored 45 points in wing-tips shoes in his portrayal of a CEO. None outside the Jordan camp can say for sure whether the underlying, subtle scheme behind those commercials was to symbolize Jordan as a super-human being - one suitable for consideration as a deity.
While browsing through different Internet sites, I stumbled upon a site endorsing Jordan for president in 2000 ( www.mj2000.org ). The group asks people to send donations of $23 tound the campaign.
MJ2000 actually wants to draft MJ as a candidate to save America's future generations. Not a bad idea. Or is it?
Nostradamus said the Anti-Christ would strike when the political atmosphere is right, and the being does not necessarily have to be a native of the group he overthrows. With Lewinsky-gate still in limbo, and the President's honor tarnished, the political mood across the United States seems ready for armageddon.
Jordan also is not a politician, so he does not appear a threat to have any alterior motives. Considering Phil Jackson has already endorsed Bill Bradley, another former basketball player, for president, the next presidential campaign could get very interesting. Nostradamus seems to have more plausibility every instant.
Jordan retired only to ressurect his career, after his baseball career died somewhere in Alabama a year and a half later - another symbol that can be applied to Christ's death and ressurection. In the glory of his second coming, he led the Bulls to even greater power, 72 wins.
I realize that if the NBA lockout ends, if remnants of a season can be gathered and MJ graces the court once again, my whole argument goes out the window along with my empty soda cans. Actually, I hope it does. I'd much rather sit watching a Bulls vs. Knicks game Christmas Day than "Come Fly With Me" for the 18th time.
The NBA needs to end its labor problems and save the season. So, whatever, or whoever, you pray or meditate to, please ask for Jordan to disprove my hypothesis and play - soon. The ride shouldn't end like this. My grandkids deserve a better finale.

HOME || SIGN GBOOK || VIEW GBOOK || HUMOR
LINK HERE || AWARDS || APPLY FOR AWARD || LINKS
WISDOM || CHAIN OF COMMAND || QUOTES || PHOTOS