1. Can cuss for a full ten minutes without ever repeating a word.
2. Got their bars the old-fashioned way - kicked the shit out of their Company Commander.
3. Know that a red "MASTER WARNING" light really is the "WE'RE REALLY FUCKED" light.
4. Will fight with bayonets and E-tools just to save ammo.
5. Wear Corcoran jump boots in garrison just in case they have to kick the shit out of some cherry Lieutenant.
6. Have eyes in the backs of their heads.
7. Can see in the dark.
8. Would rather be a squad leader than a general.
9. Have wet dreams about leading an Apache assault on Baghdad.
10. Still don't trust the Russians.
11. Still hate the French.
12. Will take vacation time just to make a pilgrimage to Ft. Rucker to see the flight line.
13. Know what "Watersports" is all about.
14. Don't give a damn about being politically correct.
15. Don't know how to be politically correct.
16. Think that "politically correct" should fall under "sodomy" in the UCMJ.
17. Love deploying to combat because there's less paperwork.
18. Know that "Cav" is an abnormal condition that can be cured with testosterone shots.
19. Can remember the "daily dozen".
20. Can remember running PT in boots.
21. Have enough "fruit salad" on their greens to be Mexican field marshals..
22. Think it's cool to teach their kids how to do "S.P.O.R.T.S.."
23. Do not fear women in the military.
24. Would actually like to date GI Jane.
25. Know what a short-arm inspection is.
26. Think that Bradley crewmen are emasculated infantrymen.
27. Know that tankers exist in order to allow the enemy to deplete its basic load of sabot ammunition.
28. Know where the "Green Ramp" is.
29. Can remember who their "TAC Officer" was...20 yrs later.
30. Know that there's a difference between "giving orders" and "going through the orders process".
31. Think that "slides" involve ropes and snap links.
32. Don't like taking orders from a guy who couldn't get a DD 214.
33. Still know how to pre-flight a Huey.
34. Can field strip an M16A1, although an M14 is an authorized substitute.
35. Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
36. Know that most of life's problems can be solved by applying the eight steady hold factors.
37. Know that the Cuban military was too goddamn stupid to have assassinated Kennedy.
38. Believe that "Nuts" wasn't exactly all that BG McAuliffe said to the Germans at Bastogne.
39. Think that we should develop nuke rounds for the M203.
40. Know the true meaning of the word "Hooah".
41. Want both "Cross of Iron" and "Saving Private Ryan" to be training films.
42. Don't know how to use a "stress card."
43. Idolize John Wayne.
44. Know why you should carry two field dressings on your LBE.
45. Would rather have a "mad minute" than a beer.
46. Know that the vertical buttstroke is not a sexual position.
47. Don't believe that "AAFES" needs a "commander".
48. Don't need "leadership tabs" to know when they're in charge.
49. Can pass a PT test slobbering drunk.
50. Can remember when gays were not a "minority group".
51. Don't have to "do a Lewinski" to get a "one block".
52. Don't give a damn if they get a "one block".
53. Would have paid money to watch Custer getting his clock cleaned.
54. Believe troops don't really want the "Single Soldier Initiative".
55. Really don't like taking shit from those who haven't "been there".
56. Believe that "RHIP" was invented by individuals who couldn't lead their way out of a field latrine.
57. Knows how to properly construct a field latrine.
58. Can set the headspace and timing on a "fifty" by touch alone.
59. Know how to do a "daisy chain".
60. Enjoy heating MREs with C4.
61. Might admire the Germans, but still realize they got their asses kicked.
62. Aren't afraid of the Chinese, who probably still don't have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan.
63. Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP 4.
64. Know that the new OER system is as screwed up as the old one.
65. Think that the neutron bomb would be appropriate for the Bosnia scenario.
66. Believe that Huey "chicken plates" should be renamed "Aviator Life Extenders".
67. Don't believe a damn thing the Iraqis say.
68. Want to be like Teddy Roosevelt.
69. Love the smell of napalm in the morning.
70. Know that "napalm" is really called "incendi-gel".
71. Don't need a GPS to find themselves.
72. Think of "Naval Aviators" as guys who wear pajamas to work.
73. Know that it really is possible to crawl inside a Kevlar when someone's shooting at you.
74. Have enough extra TA-50 in their closets to start a surplus store.
75. Would love to own their own Huey.
76. Think that MREs taste good.
77. Would like to see what kind of creature "ham and chicken loaf" comes from.
78. Think that anyone who gets from Point A to Point B on 4 tires is a lunatic.
79. Can remember open bay barracks.
80. Believe that "combat power on the objective" is a bunch of crap.
81. Believe that killing the enemy on the objective isn't.
82. Know that "accuracy counts", especially in combat.
83. Believe that all Generals secretly wish they were CWOs.
84. Know that God was a CWO.
85. Never count on the artillery in a clutch.
86. Believe that terrorists can be taken care of for 32 cents each (the cost of a 9mm round).
87. Can be found eating and bunking with the troops.
88. Are convinced that "wall-to-wall counseling" really works.
89. Would love to go to sniper school.
90. Have more time on a flight line than most other soldiers have in the chow line.
91. Know what a "link count" is.
92. Realize that volleyball is the most important subject taught at CAS3.
93. Know that it's not real coffee if you can't stand a track jack up in it.
94. Don't need a "MCOO" to know where the enemy will come from.
95. Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M16.
96. Know that shitty leaders will always say they have shitty soldiers.
By the way...
You can tell a CWO's wife from the burn scars on her fingers from ironing the pleated pockets on BDUs.
A CWO's wife knows that....