A wild rabbit got caught and was taken to a laboratory. While he was in there he befriended a rabbit who had been in the lab since the day he was born. Anyway, one evening the wild rabbit noticed that his cage hadn't been properly closed, and decided to make a break for freedom. He asked the lab rabbit if he would like to join him. The lab rabbit was unsure, as he had never been outside the lab. However, the wild rabbit finally convinced him to give it a try.

Once they were free, the wild rabbit said, "I'll show you the number three best field." and took the lab rabbit to a field full of lettuce. After they had eaten their fill, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll show you the number two best field." and took the lab rabbit to a field full of carrots. After they had eaten their fill, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll show you the number one best field." and took the lab rabbit to a warren full of female bunnies. It was heaven, non-stop boinking most of the evening.

As dawn was beginning to break, the lab rabbit announced that he would have to be getting back to the lab. "Why?" asked the wild rabbit. "I've shown you the number three best field with the lettuce, the number two best field with the carrots, and the number one best field with the boinking. Why do you want to go back to the lab?" The lab rabbit replied, "I can't help it- I'm dying for a cigarette!"

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.

During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note: "I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all of the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I want the word 'fascinate.'" Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the work "fascinate" so she called on him. Billy said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big, she can only fasten 8."

The neighbourhood's most notorious tippler making his way unsteadily homeward, encountered the parish priest, who inquired about he suspicious bulge in his coat pocket. "It's holy water, Father," the culprit protested piously. The priest removed the bottle, sniffed at it and announced that it contained whisky. "Glory be," cried the drunk. "A miracle!"

While a Texan was busily preparing for the first day of deer hunting season, his wife started nagging that he never asked her to go along. After several hours of argument the wife won. The next morning they drove out to the country, and he stuck his old lady up in a tree about 100 yards from his blind. Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang coming from the wife's position. As the Texan ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from it!" The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said, "OK, lady... It's your deer. Just let me get my saddle off of it!"