One day Santa Claus was preflighting his sleigh when a car drove up and a man in a suit carrying a briefcase got out. "Hello," said the man. "I'm a safety inspector from the FAA, and I'll be riding with you today." Santa was pissed off. The last thing he needed on the most important flight of the year was an FAA weenie in the jump seat testing his skill in emergency procedures.

He protested. "I've been carrying toys to good little boys and girls all over the world for 2,000 years without an accident" he said, "and now you spring a surprise check ride?" "Get in," said the inspector. "Let's go."

As Santa resignedly took up the reins and clucked to Dasher and Dancer, the man from the FAA opened his briefcase and took out a shotgun. "What's with the shotgun?" Santa asked in alarm. Said the FAA weenie: "You're going to lose two on take off!"