The Cat
by Many; see below

1
Lucien thought Nick was a prat,
Nick called him a bloody old bat,
But their greatest dissension
Has never been mentioned--
The night LaCroix brought home a cat!

2
Thinking the old Roman thought it a snack,
Nick screamed he should put it back,
Lucien took exception,
To Nick's rude reception,
And sundered Nick's skull with a crack.

3
"Then a snack brought before me I see."
said Nick as he saw the puss-y.
"Are you nuts my young knight!
It's a pet...Treat it right.
Or my wrath on your butt there will be."

4
"Dogs are for breakfast, you said,
Don't look at me holding your head!
Cats are for Lunch,
So I shall have a munch,
Or the rest of this day you shall dread."

5
How could Nick be so cruel? you ask
I'll explain, if I'm up to the task.
Take heart, please don't panic,
Or freak and run manic,
'Twas not Nick, it was Screed in a mask.

6
"And what's this?" asked the lovely Janette
As she hungrily eyed their new pet
Licking her lips
"Please LaCroix, just a sip?"
LaCroix frowned, "That's an act you'd regret"

7
The real Nick sauntered into the room.
He then pushed Screed out with a broom.
He noticed  the kitty,
and said "What a pity!
that I only drink down bottled MOOOOOO!"

8
LeKitty took in all this clatter
To a feline, of course, was just pratter
Finding nothing to amuse
It decided to snooze
For their ruckus simply just did not matter

9
Though the Family thought it quite odd
They were like as two peas in a pod
As Puss took a nap
On an Armani-clad lap
A god always recognizes a god.

10
Red-eyed, the jealous vamp stood above it,
For that warm spot on Luc's lap Nick did covet,
He thought of Raleigh, long-dead,
And he scratched the cat's head
"Anti-freeze and Friskies, you'll love it."

11
Janette watched the men with a glare
Then silently flipped back her hair
And said in a huff
"That's IT, that's enough"
And took off with a loud 'swoosh' of air

12
Nick's jealousy seeped through their link
And LaCroix eyed his son with a blink
"He is jealous, is he?
Then he really wants me?
Hmm, a cat or a brat, let me think..."

13
As LaCroix stared into Nick's eyes
He felt the kitty warming his thighs
Then he felt a rumble
His demeanor did crumble
The kitten's purr led to his demise.

Verses:
1, 9 ~ Molly/Stormborn
2, 5 ~ Laudon
3, 7 ~ gail Andrea
4, 8, 13 ~ Lora
6, 11, 12 ~ Megan Madonna
10 ~ Cousin Shelley

August '98