Chicago
MaybeGuile
a prancing
dancing
faerie
a tiny tainted angel
maybe when he got closer
he realized her wings were broken
saw the tear in her tutu
the run in her no-pantie hose
the opaque trail of death to be
exiting my lips
inhaling poisonous arrogance
maybe he didn't like the smoke
shoved up his nostrils
staining his Close
and
yet
yellowing the promises
maybe I should have just smiled
when he guessed the wrong color eyes
or kept
the Easter Bunny as Jesus
to myself
for myself
maybe it was the tears
cried
that night
with my head on his chest
that should have been replaced
with Indifference
to save time
cashed in for
experience
maybe I should have dove in the dive
he always spoke of
and dined on bagels and
lukewarm hot chocolate
discussing punctuation
and dead authors
instead of
masturbation
and dead otters
and what I thought was beautiful
became confusing
a porcelain statue of unquestioned answers
spitting out a liquid
I will never swallow
maybe I should have been more ding dong
and less twinkie
or held his hand before the green light
came and went
when he came
and winced
maybe I
shouldnt have told him every time I sliced my tongue
licking envelopes
for letters that maybe shouldn't have been sent
but
I accept the invitation
to Maybe
echoing off my walls of sanity
like a masochist's
silent
scream
of pain
unwanted
but needed.
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