What is the perfect Yuppie job?
- a six-figure salary where anything that goes wrong can be blamed on a superior or subordinate.
What did Yuppies learn from Woodstock?
- to build stronger fences.
What is the major concern of Yuppie families?
- to make sure their children don't have nearly as much fun as they did.
Do Yuppies like sex?
- It depends on the context.
What is a Yuppie's biggest fear?
- that someone will remember that they used to like socialist policies.
Where do Yuppies go on vacation?
- It doesn't matter, as long as they can bring a kayak.
How do Yuppies express gratitude?
- in a locked room after four stiff cognacs.
Do Yuppies believe in God?
- I'm afraid you'll have to ask them when they're closer to death.
What do Yuppies read?
- anything that has "YOU" in the title.
Why do Yuppies hate Smashing Pumpkins?
1. - because it's senseless vandalism.
2. - because the music sounds funny due to low-end hearing loss from listening to Black Sabbath.
Is Bill Gates a Yuppie?
- only to a Yuppie.
What do you call three Yuppies in an elevator going up?
- career mobility.
Why do Yuppies hate urine tests?
- because no one will let them argue for a better grade.
Do Yuppies like sushi?
- only if they can afford to serve it at parties.
How do Yuppies spell relief?
- P-R-O-Z-A-C.
How do Yuppies avoid downsizing?
- by being in charge of it.
