- the result of the hard work of Dr. Guy Weenever-Herdoff from the Department of Abstraction, who, despite repeated warnings, organized U.com's first Mission Statement Symposium and Staff/Faculty Curling Bonspiel earlier this year.
1) OUR MISSION IS to foster a dynamic environment which encourages an attitude of elitist superiority over common rabble.
2) OUR MISSION IS to constantly invent, use and promote jargon whenever possible.
3) OUR MISSION IS to diligently follow, and if necessary, justify the dictates (hereafter referred to as "research and training suggestions") of our monetary puppet masters.
4) OUR MISSION IS to go placidly amongst the domingoes, tossing our loose pavarottis across the carerras of the wide iglesius.
