WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSITY OF DOT COM. We are a new institution, but that doesn't mean we can't be as stodgy and convoluted as our ivy-choked neighbors. This is something I'm sure you'll come to appreciate once you've endured four or five years of undergraduate work and venture out to extract your economic revenge on the society that made us possible.
Now that you've survived the educational experiments that are continually recycled, repackaged and tested on an unsuspecting, underage audience by insulated visionaries (if you want to do this, we can train you), it's time to shine those shoes on the backs of those thrift store pantlegs, adjust your knapsack to a jaunty angle and go for it! If your cheques don't bounce and the river don't rise, you'll be sporting a gown and mortarboard before you know it. Good luck, and form a line to the right.
Dr. H.P. Headstrong BA, MA, FMD, URL, JKL, AOK
PRESIDENT
THE UNIVERSITY OF DOT COM
