OTTO TITSLING  (BETTE MIDLER)
	[Spoken:] "The next story is a true story.
	It concerns to of my favorite subjects:
	industrial theft and-a t-ts!
	Mmm, what a combo! This is the story:
	the inventor of the modern foundation garment
	that we women wear today, was a German scientist and opera lover,
	by the name of Otto Titsling!
	This is a true story. His name was Otto Titsling.
	What happened to Otto Titsling shouldn´t happen to a schnauzer.
	It´s a very sad story. I feel I have to share it with you"
	Otto Titsling, inventor and crout,
	had nothing to get very worked up about.
	His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak,
	he fled to the opera at least twice a week.
	One night at the opera he saw an Aida
	who´s t-ts were so big they would often impede her.
	Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,
	done in by the weight of those terrible t-ts.
	Oh, my god! There she blows! Aerodynamically this bitch was a mess.
	Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
	and he suddenly felt the fire or inspiration flood his soul.
	He knew what he had to do!
	He ran back to his workshop where he futzed and futzed and futzed.
	For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
	to lift and mold the female breast,
	to point the small ones to the sky,
	to keep the big ones high and dry!
	Every night he´d sweat and snort searching for the right support.
	He tried some string and paper clips.
	Hey! He even tried his own two lips!
	Well, he stiched and he slaved and he slaved and he stitched,
	until, finally, one night, in the wee hours of morning,
	Otto arose from his workbench triumphant.
	Yes! He had invented the worlds first
	over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hooray!
	Exhausted but ecstatic he ran down the street
	to the diva´s house bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.
	Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.
	But, after many initial misgivings, she finally did.
	And the sigh of relief that issued forth from the diva´s mouth
	was so loud that it was mistaken by some
	to be the early onset of the Seraken Winds
	which would often roll through the Schwarzwald with a vengance!
	Ahhhhh-i!
	But little did Otto know, at the moment of his greatest triumph,
	lurking under the diva´s bed was none other than the very worst
	of the french patentees: Phillip DeBrassiere.
	And Phil was watching the scene with a great deal of interest!
	Later that night, while our Broom Hilda slept,
	into the wardrobe Phillip softly crept.
	He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,
	´til he found Otto´s titsling and he ran out the door.
	Crying, "Oh, my god! What joy! What bliss!
	I´m gonna make me a million from this!
	Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.
	I can have all the goods manufactures in Taiwan."
	"Oh, thank you!"
	The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
	Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere...?

I KNOW THIS TOWN  (BETTE MIDLER)
	I know these streets and these backyards,
	this barn that´s falling down.
	We come to where they´re building now and ride our bikes around.
	You think I´m just a little kid, some troubles on the way,
	but I knew this place before you did, is all I´ve got to say.
	I´m only walking through these streets and all around...
	...I know this town.
	We come home through these fields at night about a million times.
	I´d walk the road with my eyes closed and all the paths besides.
	And I know the boy who broke this fence...his brother, too.
	And they´s never give me half a chance if I let on to you...
	...We dam the streams, we raid the shacks,
	and hide in boxcars on the tracks.
	We know these quarries in our sleep
	and where they´re cold and where they´re deep.
	I´ll go down to the bowling alley and buy smokes and Dentyne.
	I find some loose change every day under that Coke machine.
	You check me out as you drive by, like there was some big deal.
	But I know so much you´ll never find from there behind the wheel...

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