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76


I want to give the wold to you
But not even the earth beneeth my feet is mine to give
I want to give you all of me
But I won't let me yet

For I am selfish
Needing to overcome that first

What else to say then I love you
Feeling safe and secure
Needed and appreciated
Selfish


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77


Incompleteness making me feel empty
Hence my longing to be whole
How much I do enjoy company
Alas that only temporary fills the hole

I do not seek
For that ain't me
I am weak
I don't want to be

My reason to hide
Hoping, wishing
No reason to fight
I'll just..continue living


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78


Stabbing into that which is me
Flesh and bones
Pulling out the evil
That eats away within
It's roots hidden deep
A portal not closed
I am different then me
I am weak
Overcome
I want to close my eyes
My everything
Abandon the cancerridden skin
Leave behind all
Hurting others
Touching more
Fleeing
No more


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79


Standing within the shadow of darkness
I can do little more but to look
All that falls besides me, Emptiness
Another within it's cluthces it took

Powerless, tied, pitty
Bound by chains
My own making
I sense a tear running slowly

To lay down in a puddle
Feeling the drops swelling it
Consuming me bit by bit

And none that look
Noticing a pile
Shunning away

Just like Helios uncaring
Shining his gift only
Upon those who dare


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80


All these question plaguing my mind
Troubling thinking clear and straight

Always more, though alike
Always unanswered, yet so clear

Feeling the cold gnaw inside
Clenching my fists to spur my rage

Futile, ever more draining
Uncertain how long still rests

Lying and deceiving my way out
Only increasing oblivions' strenght

Envying the strong
I can, but don't want to go on

The outcome clear and unchangable
Fearless, save the void before the tempest


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81


Plagued mind by endless questions
Riddles and puzzles without solutions
How the contradiction looks the same
It is to be loathed for it's a shame

I could
I would
I want
I need

But alas to no avail
All is covered with a veil
Of ignorance
Of pretence

Do not presume the unkown
It is a enigma on its' own
So many guided
So many fooled

Do they not see
Do they shun away
Do they know at all
Do they show at all

Hurt and saddened
Watching over them
Failing
Falling


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82


Out of silence
Into boredom
I hear echos
Faint noises

Growing weaker
Distant
Ebbing away
Into oblivion

Clinging onto a smile
The innocent one
Ignorant of what goes on
Happy, smiling

A heavy load
Beared alone
I do not tell
Yet I will yield

I will be crushed
By it's weight
Am too afraid
To reveal all


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83


The night sky
Stars, some clouds
Flying amongst them

Feeling lifted
Happy
Another plane

A notice
Hit
Impact

Dizzy
Frozen
Falling

Diving
Unnoticed
Sorrow


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84


Whispering to the air
So that my voice may be carried
Distant or near

Finally reaching
One who dares to listen
My voice hearing

Knowing most answers
I can't but loath
People, items, occurences

Saddened, silent I watch
This world of my thought
For none I do touch

Is this of my making
Alone, ignored
A reality twisting

Opening my eyes I see
What others created
Yet different to me


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85


Roses are temporary
Violets are the same
Yet eternal
Is my shame


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86


Disliking myself
Words stemming from within
Therefor disliking my words

Write them once
Ever after to be shunned
To be ignored

Shedding no tear
I leave behind myself
Having no fear

So is my right
Mine alone
Selfish with spite


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87


Ode to a shower

Cleansing the filth reality draped upon me
Burning my skin with Inferno's enemy
Hypnotised into pondering
A sound overwhelming
Clouds rising high into the sky
Wish they could carry me
Lost in thoughts
You've seen me change
Gradual, steady
Always willing to embrace
Leaving with more riddles
Having no answers
I wipe away few memories dry


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88


My own eyes deceive me
Others do tell they can see
Living another lie
Experiencing different reality
I do not fit
Dreaming another existence
Finding refuge
Fleeing
Wish I could dream


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89


Tired I pull myself towards safety
Finnaly arrived I find it an illusion
Red stains covering sight
Something deeper is trying
To conquer the strings
I'm stronger
Winning and succeeding
Yet as a victor I only see
That lost is what I did
Everything at that
I weep


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90


A coccoon to grow in
Knowing to become
Beyond the barrier reach

Ascended frowning at shells
Hurting
Falsely worshipping

Loathing the sleepers
Awake
Trying to crack

With all might
Failing still
Not long


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91


Not to be found
Cohesion of words
Adherence of thoughts

Random feelings
Playing games
Out of control

Eyes shutting
Muscles weakening
I bare witness

Innocence
Ignorance
Oh what bliss

I see the beast
A reflection stares
Frozen to it's feast

Depravity
Immorality
Laughing at me

A shame
A failure
Lost again

Only when I dare
It flees in terror
Lost everything I hold dear


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92


These are not words
Merely emotions laid bare
Thoughts and feelings
From within

Breaking through
Into reality
Touching those
Reached

Did they
Or just an illusion
Another
Tormenting me

Pulling me down
Deeper into a well
Of shadows and despair
Bottomless

Swallowing, drowning
No hand reaching

Sweet slumber
So sad


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93


How true words can be
Others sooner did see
Rest is nothing
But endless repeating


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94


Distracted from the light
By darkness so bright

A craving seed
Fueling my need

Turning my head in shame
Where nothing is to blame

Shedding a tear
An underlying fear

I let me fall away
Embracing me to stay


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95


Eyes so heavy
A burden
Sinking
Willingly
Wantingly
Untill sweps away
In darkness to stay


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96


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Here's some aggresion
Taken out on you


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97


A feeling lingering on without responds
Hilltops and valleys nowhere to be found
Slowly, steadily getting stuck into monotonous dirt
Sinking away, harder to press on and breath

Choking on avaregeness I notice a presence
Divine, benevolent, catapulting me into the sky
Flying amongst clouds and dreams
Smiling

Enjoying it's beams
It's warmth
Dwindling down like a feather
Of the angel that be


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98


Craving strenghtened
By mere presence alone
Erasing thoughts and words
Leaving me in awe

Blending all that can be felt
Into a mixture of wealth
Overwhelmed by unfamiliarities

Attempting grip
Desire for lasting
Intertwining

From afar
So near


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99


The empty reflections casted
Fuelll my contempt, disliked
A thousandfold and more
Opened, closed door

Echos carrying joy
Through hallow courts
Forgotten corners
Shadow realms hear

No more this anger
No more this neglect
Damning innocence
Cursing divine

Departure into truth
Identity lost
Identity found
Arriving


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100


A whisper so clear
Trough the tempest to hear

Reaching none save me
Like this meant to be
Within the eye of rage tranquility
So surreal to see

A form without molding
Into a figure capturing

Surrounding fully this shell
Unfamiliar closeness to dwell
Holding words did tell
Preventing sanity nearly fell

Trembling unreasonable fear
Shedding inner tear


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