The Wedding PresentBy NewGab | ||
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Declaimers: Xena Warrior Princess and all the other characters from the series belong to Renaissance Pictures and Universal Studios There is no profit involved with this story. It�s just for kicks. But the ideas and all that stuff all are mine and I would appreciate no copying if you ever get the urge to do so. Subtext: You mean the idea that they�re not more than friends? Cause if you mean it the other way around you must be thinking of a different show because there is no SUBtext about their relationship�its main-text. There is very minor sexual content in this story, strictly PG-13 stuff here�I�m not very partial to porn� Violence: This is a Xena story so of course there�s violence, but nothing too graphic this story is purely PG-13 on all levels. Comments This story takes place after my three other stories Gabrielle: Destroyer of Nations, Sins of the Bard and Cold Awakening. I would advise you to read them before this one otherwise you�ll be scratching your head going �what the heck?� I�d love to hear feedback so feel free to send comments to me! The Wedding Present By NewGab The day had finally arrived for their wedding day. Gabrielle was thrilled beyond measure. Her dream for almost seven years now was finally about to come true. Xena on the other hand was a nervous wreck. Not that Gabrielle was aware of this mind you; they had been separated for more than a week, a ritual neither were particularly fond of. Xena had spent most of their wedding day so far throwing up. You�d think after so many years of killing without so much as a queasy stomach, a simple little joining ceremony wouldn�t have me so freaked. Xena chastened herself for her foolish behavior. But she couldn�t help it. After all, she had been avoiding this sort of thing her entire life. Commitment. That was a frightening word. Which was, she admitted, incredibly stupid considering what the two of them had been through. Not many people discover that they�ll be together for years and even many lives to come and still get nervous on their wedding day. But then again maybe it was more the showing of emotion in front of hundreds of amazons and countless others that had been invited that bothered the warrior. Showing them a vulnerability that Gabrielle alone had been able to witness. Aw well. Xena thought to herself. You�ll get over it. Xena smiled wryly as she laced up her boots. �You about done in there, Xena: Warrior Nervous Wreck?� Eponin called as she walking into the hut. �Haha Ep.� Xena glared. �Its almost show time you know.� �Yes I�m quite aware of that. And yes, I am ready.� �Good�just try not to throw up on the queen and ruin her new leathers.� Eponin teased. �Eponin shut up or I�ll throw you in the lake again.� The warrior threatened. �But I just got my leathers dried out from this morning when you threw me in there!� Xena just grinned and changed the subject. �Everyone we invited here?� �Everyone from Hercules and Iolaus to Autolycus is here. I�m just wondering why you invited that dolt Joxer.� Xena shrugged as she adjusted a strap on her new amazon leathers she had been forced to wear for the ceremony. �You get used to Joxer after awhile.� �Do you have any idea how many times we�ve had to redecorate because that clumsy oaf has crashed into things?� The warrior chuckled. �Gotta give you guys something to do other than practice that damn song and dance over and over again. I�m surprised Gabrielle can�t hear it from the hut you guys have her stashed at.� �She was put there to make sure she doesn�t hear us practice thank you.� �Yeah right, you guys just didn�t trust us enough not to go looking for each other at the dead of night this past week.� �Did you?� �No.� Xena answered while pretending to find something interesting on the wall. Eponin laughed. �You see that�s why we had her go there and why we made sure you didn�t know where it was.� �Who says I didn�t find it?� �Please Xena if you�d have found it you�d still be there and we�d never get this ceremony going.� Xena glared. �Are we gonna start this damn thing or not?� �Yeah, yeah come on then, they�re all waiting, cept Gab of course so stop trying to find her.� The amazon told Xena as they walked outside of the hut and towards the center of the village where the ceremony was going to be held. Xena tried to hold back a grin as half the guests� jaws dropped at the site of her in her Amazonian halter top and skirt as her and Eponin made their way to the platform. Well� Xena sighed inwardly as she reached her spot. Here goes the �fun� part. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX �Gab stop messing with your damn leathers will ya? You look great.� �Nervous habit.� Gabrielle replied as she watched Xena walk up to the platform. �You�ve been hopping around excitedly all week about this and now your nervous?� �Yeah well I�m human. I bet you I fall on my face half way up there.� �You will not!� �Something�s gonna go wrong I just know it.� �Gab the only thing that could possibly go wrong is that Joxer might trip at the food table and send the cider flying into the crowd, and then you�d have to thank him for cooling everyone off since they all seem to be quite a bit�.warmer since Xena walked out.� Ephiny joked hoping to calm the queen down. �Ephiny!� �Well its true! Look at them! Even Hercules is gapping! Besides why are you surprised? This is Xena we�re talking about.� �True.� Gabrielle sighed as she gazed at the warrior. Ephiny chuckled. �Come on Gabs. Time to get the show on the road.� The regent told her as she gently pushed her outside the hut. �I just know something�s gonna go wrong.� Gabrielle mumbled under her breath as she made her way to the platform and more importantly, made her way toward her soulmate. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX �Damn that bard and her gods be damned Xena!� A voice cried out as a body emerged from a pile of large boulders that would have killed anyone. That is everyone who wasn�t immortal. �Is that music I hear?� Velaska questioned as she stood to her full height and brushed off dust from the rocks. �Wedding music if I�m not mistaken. And Gabrielle didn�t invite me? I�m hurt. Oh well I�m a nice gal I�ll give them my present anyway. I hope she likes it�.� The goddess of Chaos trailed off as she spun herself into a tornado and began traveling towards the Amazon village intent to deliver her �present� to the happy couple immediately. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX �Damn Xena and her gods be damned bard!� A voice growled out as the body that went with it burst out of the once molten lava. �And damn that bitch Velaska too!� Callisto continued to rant. Then stopped abruptly as the sound of Amazonian drums drifted through the air. �Oooo sounds like quite the little party. I think I�ll visit to see what the special occasion is. And if two of my favorite people are there�I hope they�re in the mood to play.� The goddess cackled as she disappeared in a burst of flames. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX �Oooo this is sooo cool isn�t it Ares?� Aphrodite giggled as she watched the ceremony from Mount Olympus with the glowering Ares behind her, scowling at the event taking place. �Oh yes� it�s great, I couldn�t be happier.� �Oh shut up Ares did you really think Xena would choose you over that little cutie?� Ares glared. Aphrodite giggled and went back to watching. Then she gasped in horror. �Like oh my gods! I haven�t given them a gift!� �Oh how awful!� Ares pretended to care. The goddess of love ignored him. �Oh I know I�ve got the perfect gift!� �Oh do tell.� �I�ll like borrow Cupies� arrows and like shoot them at Xena and Gabs and like make them more in love with each other than they already are!� �You sure that�s possible?� �Sure it is, I thought of it.� �You can aim arrows?� �It can�t be that hard!� Ares laughed decided to not argue thinking that this would be waay to much fun to watch. �Alright sis whatever, just get outa my way so I can glower at them some more.� Aphrodite giggled. �Oooo this is gonna be soooo much fun!� Ares tried hard not to laugh as he watched his sister disappear and reappear floating above the amazon village, trying to aim at the two standing at the alter. �Alright Aphrodite do your stuff.� She whispered to herself as she let an arrow fly and watched as it completely missed both Xena and Gabrielle and ended up hitting Hercules, who immediately looked around to see what might of hit him and layed eyes upon Gabrielle�s sister, Lila. �You know Lila�have I ever told you you�re so much more beautiful than your sister?� The demi-god questioned the shocked village girl. �Oops, my bad, sorry bro.� The goddess whispered as she tried again. This time hitting Joxer who was staring at his shiny sword and admiring his reflection. �Joxer you handsome devil you�� This time Aphrodite shrugged. �Aw well at least he�ll stop drooling at Gabs.� �I�ll get them this time for sure!� She cried, but as she let the arrow fly a fire bolt rammed into her and sent her arrow flying straight in front of her. �Damnit Ares that�s just a waste of a good�� Aphrodite trailed off as she saw the arrow ram straight into the newly arrived Velaska. Aphrodite quickly disappeared so she wouldn�t been seen by the two and reappeared somewhere else hoping to try just one last time. Velaska look to see who shot her and saw none other than Callisto, who was busy shooting fireballs at the villagers. She then looked up when she heard the goddess of Chaos yell and fly full speed straight at her, and at that very same second yet another of Aphrodite�s poorly aimed arrows hit the goddess in the back of the neck. �Oooo she�s mine.� �Oops.� Aphrodite whispered from her perch above them all. �Umm I think I�d better give this back to cupie.� XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX �What in Tartarus is going on!?� Xena yelled as she grabbed Gabrielle and dove off the platform to avoid a fireball aimed at them. They looked up to watch the goddesses who had stopped shooting at them momentarily. �Lets fry these idiots so we can go somewhere alone.� Callisto suggested. �Great idea.� Velaska purred as she stroked Callisto�s badly combed hair. �Oh my gods! I�m gonna have to scratch my eyeballs out now!� Gabrielle yelled in horror. �That is so gross.� Both Xena and Gab watched in confusion as many of there guests weren�t running from the flames, but were instead chasing each other. �Lila wait! Lila! I�ll save you don�t worry! Lila!� Hercules called out while chasing the fleeing villager. �Hey that�s my sister!� Gabrielle started to run after the demi-god but Xena grabbed her. �Worry about that later. Lets get everyone outa here first.� �Easy for you to say. That brute of a man is chasing my sister.� Gabrielle glared daggers at Hercules who saw them not at all in his mad pursuit of Lila. �Later Gabrielle!� Gabrielle sighed and looked away from her sister�s plight. �Hey, is that Autolycus chasing after your mother?� �What?!?� Xena yelled as you reached for her chakram with a dangerous glint in her eyes. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It had been very difficult, but the newly weds had finally gotten everyone into a nearby cave. And most of them had to be tied up so they�d keep their hands to their selves. �Well what a lovely way to spend our wedding day.� Gabrielle sighed as she and Xena sat down by the fire they had just started, exhausted. �What did you expect? Nothing ever happens to us without some strange god or other coming down to cause havoc.� �True.� Gabrielle agreed as she laid her head on Xena�s shoulder, both staring intently into the fire. �Well we know Velaska and Callisto were the ones who were destroying the village. What I want to know is who was making everyone fall in love with everyone else. And if they got everyone to fall in love with other people why didn�t we?� �Cause it be a waste. No damn spell would make me fall in love with someone other than you.� Xena purred in her ear. �Why Xena that was almost poetic, I must be having an effect on you.� Gabrielle teased as she looked up at her soulmate. �It took you this long to figure that out?� Xena asked her voice deep and sensuous. �Uh-uh, always knew.� Gabrielle mumbled as their lips met in a passionate kiss. Their worries about the current situation flying from their minds as a wave of passion crashed over them. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Gabrielle awoke the next morning to the sound of people whining over various other people, she ignored that in favor of the smell of fish cooking. �Xena it�s not the nicest thing to poison your bride the day after your married.� �Haha.� Xena replied. �Hate to disappoint but I�m just making sure they don�t burn while my mother goes out and picks some spices or whatever to cook them in.� �You untied Cyrene? And she isn�t all over whoever she�s obsessed with?� Xena smiled devilishly. �In a way she is. I told her it would please you greatly if she were to cook breakfast for everyone. So she agreed and now she�s outside the cave picking your favorite spices.� Gabrielle groaned. �She�s obsessed with me? Xena that�s just weird.� �Why? The apple didn�t fall that far from the tree did it?� Before Gabrielle could answer a loud mournful yell by Joxer for a mirror to stare at was heard. Gabrielle groaned. �I think we need to start gagging these guys.� �I�ll do it for you!� Cyrene called as she walked into the cave. �Untie me and I�ll do it for you!� A amazon called out. Xena chuckled. �It�s not like you need more help in obtaining admirers.� �Laugh it up Warrior Princess. Laugh it up and you�ll be sleeping outside tonight while I stay nice and warm with one of my admirers.� Xena stopped teasing and immediately changed the subject. �So any idea what wonderful god decided to torture us this time? Though I am glad whatever it that caused all this is keeping Velaska and Callisto�occupied.� �I dunno, we piss off any gods recently?� �When don�t we piss off the gods?� �Right�well this all reminds me of the time when cupids son got a hold of his arrows and shot all of us but�� �I don�t know�maybe we should try and call him down here, couldn�t hurt.� �No need. It wasn�t his fault.� The goddess of love said as she materialized. �Aphrodite? What have you got to do with all of this?� Gabrielle asked confused. �I wanted to give you guys a great wedding gift and make you guys more in love with each other than you already are-� Aphrodite began. �Is that possible?� Gabrielle asked her soulmate, interrupting the goddess. Xena just shrugged her shoulders and turned back to annoyed Aphrodite to hear the rest of the story. �Anyway, so I took Cupid�s bow and arrows and thought I could get you guys while you were exchanging vows and all that stuff but then I missed so I tried again�then I missed again so I tried again and well, you see what happened. After awhile I realized I really screwed things up so I sent the bow back to Cupids place and pretend nothing ever happened. But then I noticed what trouble it was causing you two so I went to Cupid to confess what happened so he�d fix it�but when I got there he was rummaging through his stuff ranting that someone stole his bow. And before you ask I know I sent it to the right place because I stopped by his place right after I sent it back to make sure it was there and kinda to make sure I was on Cupid�s good side in case he found out, so it must have been, like, stolen.� Aphrodite sounded distressed now. Xena and Gabrielle looked shocked at the explanation. �But who would steal Cupid�s bow?� The bard questioned. �I was hoping you guys could help me with that�you�re a lot better at this stuff than me�� �Did anyone else know you took the bow to the wedding yesterday?� Xena questioned. �No-wait Ares did!� Gabrielle snorted. �What would Ares want with a bow that makes people fall in love with other people?� �There�s a lot of harm he could cause with it.� Xena answered. Gabrielle gave her a puzzled look. �What would happened if a Kings daughter who had just been married to another King�s son and uniting their two kingdoms, fell in love with say�one of the servants?� �The son�s father would be outraged and war between the kingdoms would break out.� Gabrielle caught on. �Exactly. The question is where is he now?� Xena asked this while turning to Aphrodite. �Am I my brother�s keeper?� Gabrielle gasped, �Dite, you said something using correct grammar� and it made sense!� Dite looked shocked. �Oh my god, you�re like, right! I meant to say that I don�t keep like tracking devices on that sicko.� �Now there�s no need for name calling.� Ares spoke in his always low-pitched voice as he appeared, Cupid�s bow in his hands. �Ares that was so like not nice to take Cupie�s bow for your sick little games or whatever! Give it back!� �Sure, after I�m done with it.� Ares cackled as he lifted the bow and quickly shot an arrow at Xena who just as quickly caught it in mid air. �Please Ares you can come up with a better plan than that to win me over.� Ares shrugged his shoulders in acknowledgement. �And don�t you think that�s pretty lame that the only way you think I�d ever love me was to place a spell on me?� �Sure but it does keep you fro ruining my plans while you obsess over me.� Xena rolled her eyes. �But also I figured you�d catch the arrow Xena and if I�ve only figured out one thing the past several years you�ve been thwarting my plans it�s that there should always be a back-up plan.� As the god was saying this Discord appeared behind the Xena, holding the real bow, aiming for Xena�s back. �Xena look out!� Gabrielle gasped seeing her first, but the warning was too late and the arrow hit its mark. Xena of course was looking at Ares at the time it hit. All in the room stared slack jawed, unsure of what was going to happen. �Well?� Ares asked. �Aren�t you gonna come rushing into my arms or something?� �Apparently not.� Xena smiled slyly, while Gabrielle and Aphrodite were still standing there slack-jawed. Ares growled in frustration as he threw down the fake bow and swung his sword that magically appeared in his hands at the warrior�s head. She simply dodged it. Xena laughed as the frustrated god kept missing was blocked by her sword. �Getting old Ares?� The God of war just growled and swung his sword more viciously, his anger flowing through him like a raging river. �Why can�t you fall for just one of my plans?!� �Hey, it makes your life more interesting.� Xena smiled while kicking him in the face. They went back and forth trading blows for quite awhile until Ares finally backed off. �This isn�t over yet. You will be mine one day, and that little pep-squeak over there-� Ares nodded towards the still slacked jawed Amazon Queen �Will be history.� �Don�t bet on it.� The Warrior Princess growled under her breath as Ares disappeared. Gabrielle and Aphrodite chose that moment to come out of their shock. �Xena? How in the name of Hades did you resist the power of the arrows? They worked on you before I don�t understand�� Gabrielle shook her head in confusion. �Easy, back then I wasn�t head over heals for you, and now I am.� Xena answered offhandedly. �Awww how cute!� Aphrodite cooed as she hugged them both tightly. �What in the world made me think I could make you guys more in love with each other?� �Just blame Ares. I�ve found that always works for me.� Gabrielle answered. All three chuckled. �Well I�d better send Cupie down to fix all this, and then I�d better go see if I can stop Ares from pouting, and most importantly I have a facial so�toodles.� Xena and Gabrielle shook their heads as their friend disappeared. �Think we can talk Cupid into leaving Callisto and Velaska alone so they can remain �occupied� for the rest of eternity?� The bard questioned. Xena through an arm around her soulmate and smiled. �I�m sure something can be worked out, then I�d say we have a party to make up for.� Gabrielle grinned. �Lets find Cupid right now!� The End (There should be a sequel�haven�t figured out what yet�but this series is too much fun to end now�.) |
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