Don't Drink and Ride
New Gab's Xena Obsession Page - Fanfics - Don't Drink and Ride
The People of Ithica and Surrounding city-States Execrate Drunk-riding (PISSED) bring you this holiday cautionary tale.
Once there was a small-town girl named Gabrielle. Sometimes she liked to visit her small-town tavern and drink small-town beer, but she had always drank in moderation (or at least she had never owned a horse before this tale takes place, so PISSED really doesn't care what she did).
Anyway, one day her tavern came up with a new gimmick to sucker in travelers. It offered a contest where anyone who could drink a single mug of beer could claim a prize of 10 gold pieces and a lousy t-shirt. The catch? The mug of beer was a Titan's mug. And so the contest became known as the Titan's Challenge. Gabrielle imagined herself to be a goddess among Titans and so she took the challenge.
Much to the surprise of everyone Gabrielle chugged the entire mug. She was barely tipsy when she claimed her prize (probably due to the huge amount of food she had just eaten). However, soon Gabrielle felt sicker than someone who's just eaten food Joxer made.
Gabrielle decided it was time to call it a night. She managed to crawl up into her saddle, but it wasn't long before she fell off her horse. The horse went on to destroy a nearby apple orchard (see how bad drunk riding is? See?!). Luckily for Gabrielle, she was soon discovered by a passer-by.
Since Gabrielle was a pure, sweet, small-town girl we can only assume that her next action was caused entirely by alcohol. She smiled up at her rescuer and said "Hello, beautiful. If I told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me?" (see how bad drunk riding is? See?!? Puns and pick-up lines, oh the horror!)
The next day Gabrielle woke up in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar person and a pounding headache. (And a different hair-style and different clothes too.)
Of course, she got lucky and met Xena, but it could have been Joxer, so please people, don't drink and ride this holiday season. Remember, drink sensibly because you never know who you might wake up with!
Join PISSED!
Put this Snazzy Rear Sticker on your Ass!
"Friends (even the wink, wink, nudge, nudge kind) don't let friends ride drunk!"
Disclaimer: PISSED is not affiliated with ENRAGED, WRATHFUL, UPSET, BITTER, or PETA. We sincerely appologize to Xena and Gabrielle for demeaning their relationship and outright lying for the sake of coming up with a story. We also appologize to Argo for not giving her a part in the story. We hope she likes the fruit (ie apple) basket we sent her. PISSED would also like to appologize to the Titans for no particular reason, but just to be safe.
Of course, no such organization exists. I just like making these fake links. And yes, I am aware of the British meaning of the word "pissed." Hehe :)