True Love, One Soul

Chapter 10
By Jocelyne

As they entered the bunkhouse. Everyone got very quite as they watched Buck enter carrying Sarah in and place here on the bench next to his spot. Rachel followed him in. Upon seeing how quite it was she said, "Well this is odd. Since when are you all this quite? Come on let’s eat." As she placed several stacks of pancakes on the table, everyone stood there looking at them. Seeing that no one was sitting down, Buck sat down next to Sarah then everyone else followed suit.

As they started eating Teaspoon came in. As he walked over to the table he said, "Excuse me folks. I didn't mean to interrupt you all at breakfast, but I need the boys to help me track a fell who's wanted for murder." Turning to Buck and Sarah he said, "Now don't get upset you two. I know that you had plans to see your father off and spend the day together, but I could really use your help tracking this guy, Buck." Buck nodded to Teaspoon that he understood. Turning to Steven, Teaspoon said, "I know you were to leave today, but I know that Buck would feel better if you were here to keep an eye on Sarah for him."

Sarah looked at him and said, "I don't need a sitter okay. I have been taking care of myself since I was 8." Teaspoon winked and smiled at Buck in hopes that what he said would put Buck’s mind at ease with leaving someone here to watch over Sarah.

Steven noticed the look on Sarah’s face before she looked down at her plate. Steven said, "Of course I will stay until all of you return. He turned to Buck and continued, "You better come back in one piece. I will not have Sarah’s heart broken because you didn't return alive. That goes for all of you as well."

Everyone nodded in agreement then Kid spoke. "I can speak for everyone here when I say that we all plan on coming back alive."

As everyone gathered around Teaspoon to find out where the fell was last seen, Buck looked at Sarah and taking her hand in his he said, "What wrong? Do you want to talk about it?"

Without looking at him she said, "No. I have to get use to this." then she stood and left the bunkhouse. Looking a little confuse Buck looked at Rachel for some kind of explanation. All Rachel did was nod toward the door saying , "Go after her. She needs to talk to you alone."

As he stood Buck said, "Excuse me." As he walked to the door he was thinking why is she acting this way. Walking out onto the porch he looked toward the corral. He knew that watching the horses seemed to help clam her down and talk, but he didn't see her there. Standing there he thought now where could she be? Then he remembered the swing in the barn. He walked toward the barn and noticed that the door was open just a little. Nodding to himself he knew that Sarah had gone into the barn to be with Lucky.

As he entered the barn he saw her sitting on the swing. Making sure he closed the door behind him, he walked over to her and said, "What’s wrong Sarah? Its not like you to just walk out like that." Without looking or saying anything to him, Sarah got up from the swing and went to Luckie’s stall. Not knowing what was going on, Buck followed her into the stall.

As she reached Lucky she knew that Buck was a few steps behind her. He was able to reach out and garb her arm. Pulling on her arm he finally got her to stop and turned her to look at him, saying, "Please talk to me. What is bothering you? We do this all the time for Teaspoon. Please tell me what’s wrong."

Pulling her arm free she sat on a hay bail that was in the stall nearby. Sarah finally looked at him and said, "There’s nothing wrong. But what’s there to say, Teaspoon needs your help. I have to get used to this if I am going to stay here with you."

Smiling as he sat down next to her Buck said, "I know that we were to spend the day together but Teaspoon could really use my help. I will be okay. I promise! We will spend another day together after we get this guy I promise. But Rachel said that you needed to talk to me alone about something. What is it? You know that you can tell me anything." He turned to her to read her face.

Sarah looked into Buck’s eyes, thinking how can I hurt him like this? She said, "Well, I’m scared that I might lose you. Seeing him look at her confused she continued. "Not only by you getting killed but by what I have to tell you. So please let me say this before you say anything." He nodded yes and she continued, "Do you remember the first night I let you hold me and how I had hoped you would kiss me."

Looking confused Buck nodded yes, then he said, "Yes, I remember but what?"

Sarah cut him off by putting her fingers to his lips to quite him. Then she said, "This is hard enough to say. Please let me finish. There was a reason I was upset when I told you about Kevin. About a year before I came out here he tried to," But before she could finish her sentence she started to cry. Pulling her into his arms, Buck could feel that it was hard for her to say what ever it was she needed to say. Taking a deep breath she continued. "Okay here goes. He tried to rape me. I have a scar across my chest from his attack."

They both just sat there. Sarah was afraid that Buck might not say anything and just walk out on her, but she was wrong Buck tighten his hold on her and said, "Oh! I'm so sorry that happened to you. So he cut you when you put up a fight against him? It doesn't matter to me. I still love you. I know how hard it was for you to tell me this. Is that why you don't want me to go? You’re afraid that it might happen again?"

Leaning her head on his shoulder, Sarah said, "Yes. I’m afraid that he will find me and try it again. But my biggest fear is knowing it happened to your mother and now to me that you might not want to be with me any more. I love you and it hurts to think that. But I don't know what to think. You are the first man I have let near me since it happened." She started to cry again.

Buck pulled her closer and with his fore figure and thumb he lifted her chin so she was looking at him. Then he said, "I won’t leave you just because of that. It’s not your fault that it happened. I know that it hurts. Dose anyone else know?"

Sitting up straight Sarah said, "I told my father and Aunt Rachel this morning. I never could bring myself to tell anyone. I thought it was something I did that made him try to do that. He even threatened to blackmail my father if I told. I was afraid that he would do that and that he might kill me just to prove he meant it."

Looking her in the eyes Buck said, Could you please tell me how it happened?"

Taking a deep breath Sarah garbed his hand for strength, then she began, "Well we were sitting in the parlor talking. He had been drinking. When he tried to force himself on me, I slapped him. He slammed his glass on the table beside the couch and broke it. He swung at me cutting through my dress and cutting me across the chest. As he tried again I managed to get him to stop by hurting him in his most vulnerable spot. He backed off and I ran from the room. I did everything not to be around him unless we were in a room full of people. But as time went by I just couldn't be around him at all. So I left and ended up here."

As she finished Sarah stood and went over to Lucky and leaned on her. She felt a great relief that she had told him, but now a new fear took hold of her. The fear that he might leave her. Buck stood and walked over to where she stood and wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling how tense she was he said, "It’s in the past now. You’re here and you’re my gal now. We’ll deal with him if he shows up here."

Feeling her start to relax in his arms he leaned down and started to kiss her neck. Sarah turned in his arms and met his kisses with her own with a feeling of relief. Breaking the kiss Buck said, "Come on lets go finish breakfast before Cody eats it all. I know your father was worried about you after you left. I want you to stay by me till we leave." Then he picked her up and carried her back to the bunkhouse.

Buck sat Sarah back down at the table. As they sat down Steven said, "Sarah are you okay?"

Nodding yes she said, "I'm fine. I just have to get use to this is all."

Teaspoon walked over to where she sat and said, "I know how you are feeling. I promise you that he will come back safe as will all the boys. With the fact that you are here waiting on him to return I know Buck will come back okay."

Smiling at him Sarah said, "I know. This is all new to me still. I need time to adjust to it is all." Everyone finished breakfast and went about getting ready to leave. Sarah sat on Buck’s bunk while he packed a few things. Then out of know where she said, "Why don't I go with you. I think you might need an extra gun on this."

Looking up at her in shock Buck said as he sat down next to her, "No! I would feel better if you stayed here. I don't want you to get hurt. I want to know that when we return you will be the first person I see when I ride in."

Standing up she garbed her crutches and said, "Why not? Lou is going! I can handle myself as good as any of you and you know it."

Buck stood and reached for her arm as she tried to walk away. He garbed her and turned her to face him saying, "No. I want you here. I will not have my girl ridding off on a dangerous mission and getting herself hurt. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. It’s the way my mother raised me. I'm sorry but you are staying here. Now please don't fight me on this. I don't want to leave with this between us. I feel that you would be safer here then with me this time. There will be other times when you can come. And as for Lou that’s Kids problem." Fighting the tears that threatened to spill, Sarah just walked out the door and headed for the house.

Chapter 11 in next week's issue!