January 2000
Patrick (my husband) gets saved!!! HALLELUJAH!!!! Soooooo many
thanks to all of the prayers and fasting from our church *family* for this!
We have felt so much love and support beyond what we ever imagined from
all of you (especially all of the Home fellowship group) we’ve gotten to
know.
(Patrick): This is a little more of a miracle than it sounds like :) Two years ago, if you had searched for the most adamant person AGAINST organized religion (or worship, theological teaching, whatever you want to call it...) You would have found ME.
March 2000
The Lord decides to bless us with another baby! I feel very different
from the beginning of this pregnancy. Everything just seems *lighter*
and happier this time. Much more peaceful. I’m due in November,
planning on another home birth probably... but can’t find a midwife close
enough to us thanks to my ultra-fast labors. We’ll figure something
out.
Around this same time, I can’t remember when exactly, Patrick gets an
idea for a business from the Lord. Little did we know they
would both come about around the same time!
(Patrick:)
There was a day, I can’t
remember the date, when the situation at my job was not.... pleasant.
I was unsure of my continued employment, because my employer was in bankruptcy
and it appeared at the time that the business was on the verge of closing.
I spent quite a few days in prayer, asking for the Lord to guide my steps
so that I could continue to support my family. I finally figured
out that I shouldn’t be praying for money, but rather for God to show me
his will in my life- because once you live in line with the will of God,
none of your other problems are going to be problems any more. So
I altered my prayers. I said a prayer thanking God for showing me
what direction He would like my life to take. That day I got a call
from a man named Jack. I was to find out later that Jack spent many
years as an ordained minister preaching the word of God, and that he was
an Alumni of Oral Roberts University. Jack made me an offer.
His company was starting up a new division. Their market was small
companies scattered across the US that had good knowledge of the Internet.
His offer was exciting, and I immediately felt as if that was what I was
supposed to do at that time. I can’t explain how, I just knew it.
May 2000
Things were moving along quite slowly. We put our house on the
market and find a house in Mt. Pleasant that is big enough for us.
I get the distinct feeling that we shouldn’t commit to that house, but
push my feelings aside when Patrick likes the house. We commit to
buying that house when we sell ours. The man selling agrees to wait
for us.
Well... we wait, and wait, and wait. It just feels wrong to me,
but I keep ignoring that nagging voice inside and hanging onto the hope
that we will soon be moving to town. We have several potential sales,
that all just fall through at the last minute. This or that goes
wrong, and we just can NOT sell this house. I finally tell Patrick
that I really feel we are not to move to Mt. Pleasant. He really
feels that he is supposed to do this business though, and we can’t figure
out what we’re supposed to do. We call the seller of the house in
Mt. Pleasant and tell him we can’t keep him on hold any longer as we don’t
know when we will be able to move.
July 2000
Patrick’s first trip to Promise Keepers ~ He loved it! (This
was a miracle in and of itself... he rarely actually gets involved in things
like this, he usually just sits back and *observes* everyone else)
(Patrick:)
Camp Meeting details (as
promised): Our church had a week-long event in which there was a different
speaker every night. The topics varied, and overall the messages
really enriched our lives. The one that made a difference in the
course of my life though, was given by a gentleman named Wayne Meyers.
He’s been a missionary in Central America for many years, and is said to
be responsible for millions of salvations. Well, the message that he gave
was on money. Money and what you should do with the money that you
have. Since I had little at the time, it seemed to have only small
significance to my life. However, at one point he rallied the congregation
to pledge a specific amount to the church over the next nine months.
The object was to eliminate the church’s debt, as he taught on how being
in debt restricts your ability to do God’s work in the world. Well,
they passed out pledge sheets, and I took one even though I had nothing
to pledge. I felt that I should pledge something though, so I grabbed
a pen and started to write..... except that what I wanted to write was
WAY more than I had to give. I thought about that for a minute and
as I was doing so Wayne said, “If you feel that the amount you’re supposed
to give is more than you can afford, then praise God and offer your thanks
because he is going to make it possible for you to give that amount!”
So I bit the bullet and wrote the number that seemed right. Then
I showed it to Byn and she choked. The figure was WAY WAY WAY out
of our reach at that time, but knowing what I know now it will soon be
more than possible. Praise God!
I was more than shocked to see what he had written, especially since this was the same man who used to be VERY against tithing ANYTHING to the church! Its amazing the changes that God can bring about in a persons’ heart. He also decided that when he started his business, that 30% would go to the church. We are very much looking forward to being able to help support missions and others who are spreading Gods’ word more and more ~
August 2000
Well, we still haven’t sold the house, but now instead of praying for
God to help us sell our house we are only praying that He show us His will
for our lives. For some reason I get the urge to check out Rhema
Bible college. They send me their packet of information and Patrick
and I read over it and put it on the shelf. During this time, his
job is becoming more and more unstable and we aren’t sure how much longer
things are going to last there. Patrick starts talking about finding
another job. He soon realizes that in order for him to find a job
that will pay him what he needs to support us ~ and to use his skills he
has acquired, we will probably have to move to a bigger city. We
are beginning to lean towards Tulsa ~ and Rhema. If we are going
to move away anyway, we want to be somewhere where we know we’d like to
be eventually anyway. Neither one of us wants to move somewhere just
for a job and then feel that it is now time to move where God wants us
to be. We would rather go where God wants us to be now. I’m
not in a big hurry, but once we discuss it, it really feels right to me.
We start to look into housing costs and possible job prospects in the Tulsa
area. I’m thinking we’ll probably move the beginning of next year,
or maybe next spring.
September 2000
Things get worse at work and Patrick isn’t even sure he will get paid
this month. It is actually bad enough this time that his boss tells
him he may want to start seeking out other employment. Thanks to
God, I haven’t been feeling at all stressed about this job situation, and
have felt nothing but peace about our finances throughout this whole time.
It has been so wonderful to have such a peace from God that everything
would be fine. I never had any doubts during all the ups and downs
with this company. Praise the Lord!!! For those who don’t know
me well, this is definitely a miracle that I wasn’t totally stressed out
all the time over money! And God provided. We never went without.
Patrick started checking out job opportunities in Tulsa for the immediate
future. Tulsa feels right... but we’re not sure the jobs sound right.
One day I suggested to Patrick that he call More Wire (the business he
felt God had called him to work with earlier) and find out if there is
a company already started in Tulsa. I was thinking more along the
lines of him getting a job with them to learn the ropes and then later
starting up this business God has for him. Well, I was close!
Apparently God wanted Patrick to do the business himself! When he
called Alan about the business, he learned that there were no other businesses
already set up in Tulsa ~ the area was free... so Patrick could set up
there! Things started on a roll from this point on and it seemed
like every time we took a step, another door (or two!) opened. It
is amazing to see God work when you step out in faith!
So ~ by this time we were definitely feeling a strong *push* to move
to Tulsa, and it felt right. We decided we would take a short trip
down on the weekend and see the place and get a feel for things. (Many
many thanks to the Stropes from church who felt led to give us a check
for $80... that enabled us to pay for our gas there and back ~ the cost
was about $80.) We wanted to check out some rental space for Patrick’s
office and our home. As he needed 45 days from the time he signed
the contract until his business could be up and running, we decided to
go as soon as possible. We were thinking of maybe trying to get there
before the baby was due. I wanted to be moved by the first of November,
or wait until the first of the year to give me some time to recuperate
after the baby. Patrick was moving along with plans for the business,
but he also had another company that had responded to his earlier job inquiries.
Yet again, I felt uncomfortable with this idea, but said nothing.
I didn’t feel that we/he should be seeking out a job other than the one
God had set in front of us. It felt as though we were preparing “back
up” in case God fell through.
My mom offered to watch the kids for a few days while we went down to Tulsa. Patrick really wanted to be there on a Sunday morning so we could check out at least one church before actually moving down there, so we left that next Saturday morning, September 16th.
It was quite a long trip ~ much longer than we expected (probably in part because being 7 months pregnant, I had to stop often for the bathrooms!) We arrived in Tulsa around 11:30 pm and it was obviously dark by then. That was a little disappointing because we were hoping to get a feel for the place and a first impression. We were both actually a little surprised at how big it seemed, even in the dark. Probably a bit apprehensive too, since I have gotten such a bad feeling about ~ absolutely hated ~ every city I’ve been in or even near in the past 7 years. I really felt, though, that the Lord would n’t lead us to a place that I hated. We got to out campgrounds and stayed in one of their cabins (I loved that cabin!)
The next morning we got up and found a church to go to ~ The Church on the Move, with Willie George. When we got near to the church, they had police everywhere directing traffic... this was definitely a little bigger church than we were used to! We go to one of the biggest churches in our area in Iowa ~ and our attendance is around 600-800. This church had probably over 2000 people, just in the sanctuary for second service. That isn’t counting all the youth and kids... WOW! It was a good church and we liked it a lot, but figured that it would be a bit much for the kids to adapt to in short order. Especially considering that they will probably be dealing with a big move and a new baby within a space of a few short weeks! We will continue to pray about it though, because we really felt that the people there really had a heart for children... and of course our children and their spiritual growth is incredibly important to us.
I had really connected with Pastor George’s sermon that morning, when
he had read the scripture about building your house on a firm foundation...
and especially when he read from James about asking God for anything in
faith, and not being double minded. I felt again very strongly that
Patrick should not be seeking another job in Tulsa. It felt (to me)
that if we didn’t have enough faith for God to give us what we needed for
this business, then we shouldn’t be moving until we were sure. And
if we did know without a doubt that God wanted us there, and wanted us
to do this business, then we needed to have enough faith that God would
supply what we needed to get it done and support the family at the same
time. (Now, if only I could have remembered this later) Anyway, Patrick
agreed and decided not to pursue the other job he had been looking at.
James 1:5-8
5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously
to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he
asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave
of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he
will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable
in all he does.
**On a side note here ~ Sprite watches the Gospel Bill Show videos at church in her class and last summer had been begging to go to a camp like they had on those videos. She's been asking regularly when she would be old enough to go. So when I got one of the brochures after church, one was for a church camp for kids. I was so excited because I knew Sprite would absolutely love this idea... and that was before I even realized, not ony was it a church camp, but it was the one she had seen on the Gospel Bill Show! She is very much looking forward to going this coming summer! God even takes care of our children's desires!
After church we called some realtors and looked through the classified ads for homes to rent and office spaces. We needed to leave by 2:00 the next day, so we didn’t have much time. We were counting on God to lead us to the right house and the right office for our needs, because we knew it wasn’t something we’d be able to find in that short of a time by ourselves.
We drove around and looked at a couple of places that we called about, but none of them were anything like what we wanted. I admit I was feeling a little discouraged. I started doubting God’s ability or willingness to fulfill my desire to have a nice home. I wasn’t wanting anything major, just a nice place to live, a place where things weren’t falling apart and the walls weren’t cracked with lime green paint. Patrick and I started discussing what kind of a house we’d like to have when we could afford to buy a place of our own. We loved the log cabin we were staying in, so we wanted to have some natural wood in and on our house... but we also loved the stone we saw on so many of the houses throughout town. Patrick has always wanted a fireplace, and I loved the thought of a big stone fireplace that took up a whole wall. I wanted two full bathrooms, and nice sized closets... and with five kids, a laundry room (even just a little one) was a must!
We finally got a hold of the realtor who was to show us one more house. She gave us directions and we found it quickly... just a few blocks away from a huge mall and several stores and restaurants. I really liked the house when we pulled up. It had wood siding on the garage and the house was mostly stone (!!!) I was almost afraid to get my hopes up. When we got out of the van, we couldn’t believe how quiet it was! We had not been looking forward to all the noise of a city after living in the middle of the country for so long. The realtor showed up and let us in. I walked past the entry way into the living room... and saw a huge stone fireplace reaching all the way to the top of the vaulted ceiling (something else I have always loved!) With built in bookshelves on either side (WOW!!!) I was in love ~ and had that feeling of relief because I knew this was it, and I wasn’t going to have to drive around looking at houses anymore! We looked around, two full bathrooms, big closets, four bedrooms, kitchen with a little dining area with another dining area just off the living room that would be perfect for homeschool. There was also a small yard with a big privacy fence for the kids to play in. There wasn’t too much traffic on the street, and it just seemed sooo quiet!
We asked the realtor if there was a way to *hold* the house until November 1st when we wanted to move. She said it would be pretty much impossible. There was no way that house would be available for that long. Devastating moment #1. Then the realtor asked Patrick where he would be working. Oh no. My heart sank! I hadn’t even thought about that aspect! There was no way anyone was going to rent a house to us when he didn’t have a job! Just the fact that he was starting a new business didn’t bode well in my mind for any kind of credit application we were going to have to fill out. My mind immediately went to work trying to figure out how on earth we could get around it. I was feeling pretty tense by the time we left ~ I wanted that house, but I didn’t think we’d be able to get it. Not only that, but I didn’t see how we’d be able to get any house. We had to find a store and buy pillows and everyone we asked kept giving us the wrong directions. I was hot and tired and in pain from sitting in the van for so long and so stressed out, feeling like the whole trip was a waste and angry because we’d taken off and done this without even thinking about the credit side of things. I was in tears by the time we had to stop again for directions. All the stores in that city, and we couldn’t find one when we wanted to! ARGH!
I will say that in all this, I still had complete faith that we were supposed to move there ~ that God wanted Patrick to start this business, and that He would make everything work out with the business. For some reason though, the faith I had wasn’t extending to the things that I needed and wanted for myself and our family out of the deal. I don’t know why I had faith for God to work out this huge business deal, but not to work out a little thing like a rental application!
Patrick dropped me off at the cabin and went to look at some business
properties. I decided to lay down and read to get my mind off of
things and relax a little. Do anything except think about moving,
leases, or Tulsa in general! It soon became apparent though, that
I wasn’t going to be able to do anything except that. Sometime during
this, I had started to realize that I wasn’t just being stressed out about
something, I was doubting God’s ability to meet our needs. The story
of Peter walking on the water came to mind... I felt like I had been doing
just fine until I took my eyes off of God. As soon as I looked at
things in the natural, I immediately starting sinking ~ and that was exactly
how it had felt too! I felt a little relieved then, and wished that
Patrick was there to talk to. I went and called my mom instead.
She, as usual, was very encouraging and talked to me about Pastor Monte’s
sermon that morning about accepting gifts from God. She reassured
me that everything was going to be fine, and that I needed to have faith
that God knew the desires of my heart ~ that I just needed to pray and
focus on God... let HIM deal with all the little stuff. Just talking
to her made me realize how silly I was being about the whole thing.
After talking for a while (probably too long) I went back to the cabin
and got out our prayer book and the Bible. I remembered the scripture
from this morning, and when I found it and read the rest of the chapter,
it really hit home.
James 1:2-8
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many
kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who
gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to
him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts
is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should
not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded
man, unstable in all he does.
I read that for a while, and prayed and prayed. I also read in our prayer book about praying God's will for your life by praying in tongues. When Patrick got back I talked to him about my doubts and how I had come to the realization that I wasn't trusting God. It felt really good to be able to talk about it with him. We looked up some more scriptures together and talked some more and decided we were going to leave everything up to God. I fell asleep feeling completely relaxed and at peace about everything.
The next morning, Patrick left me and went out looking for rental space for his business. He came back around noon feeling a little discouraged. Everything he looked at was too big for what he needed to start out with... and therefore too expensive. He had one last guy to meet with at 1:00. We decided to go eat lunch and meet him after. First we stopped to get the oil changed in the van and Patrick called the realtor about the house. After talking with her about not being there until November 1st, she said that would be no problem and we just needed to fill out the rental application. As she was out of state at the moment, we'd need to stop by her office and speak with her office manager ~ who would be there until 1:00.
I looked at my watch ~ we had twenty minutes! Fortunately, our van was done, so we hurried out of there and got directions to the office. Just as we took our exit, Patrick remembered that he had an appointment with the office complex manager to see the rental space there. Yikes! How were we going to be at two places at once??? We decided that Patrick would drop me off at the realtor's office and then he would go to see the business rentals. As we pulled into the parking lot (at 1:00 on the dot) we realized that the realtor's office was in the same office complex that Patrick needed to be at! What are the chances??? In the whole city of Tulsa?? God takes care of the details too!
Not only that, but the office space was PERFECT! There was one small office space that he could take now, and it was in a wing of the building that was totally empty ~ right next to a big office space that just *happened* to have the exact kind of wiring he needed for his business!!!!! The guy told him that he could rent the small space and then when he needed to expand, they would just knock down a wall and expand to the other space! It was so perfect! And all of their office space was rented by the square foot, so starting out with the small space meant we had just enough money to get the space secured... and since it was so small, they didn't need to bother with the whole credit check and application deal! Yay!! Absolutely no hassles! Praise the Lord!
We left town with plans to fax leases and whatnot back and forth to get everything worked out. We were so excited and happy! It was so nice to be *as one* with my husband on this. It was so wonderful that we ~ together~ were following God's plan for us!
My mom just called (a few days after we got back) and tells me that there is a woman interested in buying our house... and she definitely wants it, and has qualified for a loan, Wow!! Is that just such a blessing or what? This woman is a single mom to four small kids and also has a horse, so our house would be perfect for her! She has been praying every night with her kids that God would give them this house. Praise the Lord!!! I am so happy that she is going to get this house ~ and that the kids will be able to get good use out of the swingset and sandpile. There is plenty of land for the horse and its exactly what she wanted! I am so happy!!! Praise the Lord for taking such good care of all of us!
Update: Patrick has now secured the investment capital he needs to get his business started and help us move there... as a matter of fact, he got even more than his *lowest* figure that he was originally shooting for and instead got the full amount! Praise the Lord!
And... we needed to get our van fixed ~ the back window had blown out
during the one of the hot days this past month and we needed to get it
fixed before we left. Patrick finally got an appointment to get it
fixed, even though we still didn't have the money to pay for it, just believeing
that God would provide. Patrick called me and said that it was going
to cost about $300. to get it fixed. I said to go ahead as it had
to be done, and God would take care of it. So, he wrote a check for
it, even though the money was for something else. After he dropped
off the van to get it fixed, we received a totally unexpected check in
the mail ~ that same day ~ for enough to cover the van within a few dollars!
Praise God! I am just amazed at his generosity and blessings!