| John Bobbit Virus | Removes a vital part of your hard disk then reattaches it. (But, that part will never work again.) |
| Politically Correct Virus | Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism." |
| Ross Perot Virus | Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits. |
| Mario Cuomo Virus | It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run. |
| Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus | Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. |
| Congressional Virus #1 | The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem. |
| Congressional Virus #2 | Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything. |
| Congressional Virus #3 | Doesn't do a thing but runs into a defecit. |
| Airline Virus | You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. |
| AT & T Virus | Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting. |
| MCI Virus | Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT & T Virus. |
