Why are the L.A. Rams changing their names
to the Tampons?
They're only good for one period and they
don't have a second string.
What's long, black, and smells funny?
The unemployment line.
Why are they having trouble finding a cure
for aids?
The scientists can't get the little mice
to butt fuck.
What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.
What do you call 2 Vietnamese in a Trans Am?
The Gooks of Hazard
What's the best thing to come out of a dick?
The wrinkles.
Why did the man call his dog herpes?
Because he wouldn't heel.
Did you hear about the Polish Lesbian?
She liked men.
Why are scientists breeding Mexicans instead
of rats for experiements?
They multiply faster and you don't get
attached to them.
What are the first words Adam said to Eve?
Stand back, I don't know how big this thing
gets.
What do you call a Phillipino contortionist?
A Manilla Folder
When a man and woman get married they need
a marriage license. What do two lesbians need?
A licker license.
Why do more women than men have trouble with
hemorroids?
Because God made man a perfect asshole.
Why did God invent women?
Because sheep can't cook.
How do you make a black person nervous?
Take him to an auction.
Why did God invent the orgasm?
So Pollacks would know when to stop.
What 2 things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
Her legs.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with
M&M's?
A cock that melts in your mouth, not in
your hands.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker.
Did you hear about the two Mexicans on "That's
Incredible"?
One had car insurance and the other was
an only child.
What's the difference between a pervert and
a kinky person?
The pervert uses a feather, the kinky person
uses the whole chicken.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish American
Princess with a computer?
A computer that never goes down on you.
Why did Helen Keller have yellow legs?
Her dog was blind too.
How do you tell if you have bad acne?
The blind read your face.
Did you hear about the new deoderant called
"Umpires"?
It's for foul balls.
How do you circumcise a whale?
Send down fore-skin divers.
What do gay refer to as hemorrhoids?
Speed bumps.
How does a Jewish American Princess do it doggie
style?
She makes him beg for an hour.
What's the difference between a women's track
team and a tribe of smart pygmies?
The pygmies are a tribe of cunning runts.
Why is a moped and a fat lady similar?
They're both fun to ride, but you don't
want your friends to see you on one either.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day
What's the best thing to give a 60 year old
woman?
Mikey....He'll eat anything.
Who are the 2 most famous black women?
Aunt Jamima and Mother Fucker.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you get when you cross a black man
with an Irish man?
A Lepracoon
What do spaghetti and women have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the
movie rights to "Roots"?
They are going to play it backwards so
it has a happy ending.
What's the difference between Mono and Herpes?
You get Mono from snatching a kiss.
What do they call a gay in a wheelchair?
Rolaids
If our ancestors came over on a boat, how did
herpes come over?
In the Captains dingy.
Why is pubic hair curly?
If it was straight, it would poke your
eyes out.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with
an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring tears to
your eyes.
What do you call a cow playing with itself?
Beef Strokenoff
What's green and red and goes 1,000 miles per
hour?
A frog in a blender.
Why don't Pollacks eat M&M's?
They have a hard time peeling them.
Why are cowgirls bow-legged?
Because cowboys like to eat with their
hats on.
What's the most useless thing on a polish woman's
body?
A polish man.
Why are there no Gynecologists in Poland?
Because they don't know how to read lips.
Why do little girls carry goldfish in their
pockets?
So they can smell like big girls.
Why do Gorillas have such big nostrils?
Because they have such big fingers.
How was cooper wire invented?
By two Jews fighting over a penny.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with
peanut butter?
A cock that sticks to the roof of your
mouth.
Why does Helen Keller masterbate with only
one hand?
So she can moan and groan with the other.
What's the difference between "Ooooooh" and
"Ahhhhhhhh"?
About six inches.
How do you ruin a Polish party?
Flush the punch bowl.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding
and an Irish funeral?
About one less drunk.
Did you hear about the woman in San Francisco
who was attacked by 3 men?
Two held her down while one did her hair.
What's the difference between a gay rodeo and
a straight rodeo?
At a straight rodeo they yell, "Ride that
sucker!"
Why do Italian men have mustahes?
So they can look like their mothers.
Why did God invent golf?
So white people can dress like blacks.
What do they call kids born in whore houses?
Brothel sprouts
What's green and makes holes?
A drill pickle.
What do you call a midget psychic who just
committed a crime?
A small medium at large.
Why do blacks always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubic hair on their heads.
Did you hear about the new Jewish tire?
It not only stops on a dime, it will pick
it up.
Did you hear about the Polish Abortion Clinic?
It has a one year waiting list.
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can appreciate them too.
Why can't you circumcise Iranians?
There's no end to those pricks.
Why do women have two holes so close together?
Incase you miss.
What's the definition of confusion?
20 blind lesbians at a fish market.
What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
What do Elephants use for condoms?
The Goodyear Blimp
What's blue and comes in brownies?
A cub scout.
What's generic dental floss?
Pubic hair.
What do you get when you cross a stud with
a debtor?
Someone who is always into you for at least
10 inches.
Why did God create men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator to mow
the lawn.
What do you call a couple of gay lawyers?
Legal aids.
What do you get when you cross holy water with
castor oil?
A religous movement..
Where does virgin wool come from?
From sheep the herders couldn't catch.
Did you hear about the new organization that
Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor are forming?
The Ignited Negroes College Fund.
Why is the Pink Panther and a gigolo
alike?
They are both Peter Sellers.
Again, people, these are only jokes......nothing personal.
