"Woman Clips Off Sleeping
Husband's Penis, Throws It From Moving Car"
....Don't laugh, it's true, and it could happen
to you!
Right now, thousands of agitated, irate women
have read that headline, and are contemplating taking that action the next
time their man makes an unwanted sexual advance, looks at them the wrong
way, or just generally pisses them off. That's not even mentioning
the hazards of PMS!
MEN, Protect Yourselves
NOW!!!
If you find yourself the victim of "Clip
and Flip Syndrome," could you be sure that the appropriate authorities
would find your dismembered member in time and intact? Could you
be sure that the penis part they reattach is your own?
Our new, low cost, Penis Protection Plan will
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with your own unique registration numbers. In case of separation,
you're insured of a perfect match every time!
For just a bit more, you can choose the "Jurassic
Prick Program". One cell sample from your penis allows us to clone
replacement parts, in the event that your manhood is run over by a truck,
falls into a storm drain, or is destroyed by local fauna.
Don't Get Caught Short!
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Mail this coupon to Jurassic Prick, 444
Short Arm Drive, Manessas, VA 22110
Name:_____________________________________________________________Address:___________________________________________________________
City/State/Zip:_______________________________________________________
Home Phone:________________________________________________________
Work Phone:________________________________________________________
Measurements: Flaccid:_____________________
Erect:____________________
Check One: ___ Penis Protection Plan
($89.95) ___Jurassic Prick Program ($119.95)