"Woman Clips Off Sleeping Husband's Penis, Throws It From Moving Car"
....Don't laugh, it's true, and it could happen to you!

Right now, thousands of agitated, irate women have read that headline, and are contemplating taking that action the next time their man makes an unwanted sexual advance, looks at them the wrong way, or just generally pisses them off.  That's not even mentioning the hazards of PMS!


MEN, Protect Yourselves NOW!!!

If you find yourself the  victim of "Clip and Flip Syndrome," could you be sure that the appropriate authorities would find your dismembered member in time and intact?  Could you be sure that the penis part they reattach is your own?

Our new, low cost, Penis Protection Plan will give you peace of mind.  We'll register and tatoo your penis and scrotum with your own unique registration numbers.  In case of separation, you're insured of a perfect match every time!

For just a bit more, you can choose the "Jurassic Prick Program".  One cell sample from your penis allows us to clone replacement parts, in the event that your manhood is run over by a truck, falls into a storm drain, or is destroyed by local fauna.

Don't Get Caught Short!  Sign Up NOW!!!

Mail this coupon to Jurassic Prick, 444 Short Arm Drive, Manessas, VA 22110
Name:_____________________________________________________________Address:___________________________________________________________
City/State/Zip:_______________________________________________________
Home Phone:________________________________________________________
Work Phone:________________________________________________________
Measurements:  Flaccid:_____________________ Erect:____________________
Check One:  ___ Penis Protection Plan ($89.95) ___Jurassic Prick Program ($119.95)
 
 
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