HEALTHCARE 2000
One day Ken complained to his friend. My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor. His friend offered, Don't do that! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell what you can do about it. It only cost $10.00. Ken figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. the computer started making some noises and lights started flashing.
After a pause, a small slip of paper popped out on which was printed:
You have Tennis Elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decied to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine began to make the usual noises.
After the pause, the slip of paper popped out with the following analysis printed on it:
Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.
Your dog has worms.
Give him vitamins.
Your daughter's using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is preganant--twin girls.
They aren't yours, get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off,
Your tennis elbow will never get better.
