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Yesterday



In Loving Memory of Grandma






Dear Grandma,

I know you will never read this letter to you. I know if you did come across it and get to read it that you would not remember doing so. Still, I find myself compelled to write this. I wish you still remembered me. I love you so Grandma and I wish you knew that.

I know I do not visit you like I should. It is so hard to see you like this when you do not even remember who I am or that I even visited you. I am always here for you though Grandma. I will keep your memories alive for you. I will remember, the good times and the bad ones. I know you cannot do it, but, for you Grandma, I will.

I will remember for the both of us Grandma, the long summers we got to spend together. I will remember the times we got to share. These memories I will hold dear to my heart and hold on tight to them. They hurt so much to think of them now though and see you like you are. But, Grandma, I know you will never remember them or know the pain I feel when I look back and know that those times are gone forever in your mind.

I will remember Grandma, the nights sitting on your porch watching the cars roll bye. I will remember the afternoons working in the yard on your beautiful flowers. I fear though that I did not inherit your green thumb though. I will remember how you always included me in your plans no matter what they where. From playing cards with the widows club to walking up town to the Moose Club to visit, you and I were always side by side. I will remember these times Grandma and hold on tight to them. They are all I have left now.

I know it is not your fault Grandma that you do not remember. It is that cruel disease that has stolen your memories from you. I know you would prefer to remember all the special times with your family and friends. I know you would love to remember who you are. But, Grandma, I will always be here to remember those times that we shared together. I will not forget.

I can not hold back the tears any longer Grandma. The thought of knowing that you mind is gone forever is a painful one. But, I will teasure the memories I have of you. I will make sure that Renee remembers you too. We both love you so Grandma. I wish I could have you back for just one day. I would let you know that your memories are still alive in me.

I love you Grandma. I will always remember.....for the both of us.

I Love You,

Kristi



For those of you who do not know me or my family, my Grandma has Alziehmer's Disease. She was a wonderful person. She was funny, caring, stern when she needed to be, but only to make us better people. She was creative, smart, and always busy. She had the prettiest flowers in town growing in her yard. My Grandma was a very special person to me.

Grandma is now living in a nursing home. I wish I could be strong enough to visit her now, but, it is too painful. Because of the Alziehmer's Disease, she no longer remembers much of anything. I wrote this letter to her as my way of dealing with the pain. If you have a family member or friend who is suffering with this disease, my heart goes out to you. I know the pain you must live with. This is a cruel disease, that steals the mind and leaves only a shell of a body to remain. It is often joked about, but little is actually known about it. There is no cure. There is only family and friends left behind to carry on the memories.

Please, take the time today to remember something special about some one that you love. Then stop and think what life would be like if you could no longer do that. Hold that memory tight and put it in a safe place in your heart and be greatful that you can. I now have to look at those special memories of Grandma through tears of pain and joy flowing together. I pray if you have not experienced this loss, that you never have to.




My Grandma. I love her so.






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