Actual dialog of a former
Word Perfect Customer Support employee:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant;
may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
words
went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look
like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did
you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a C: prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move the cursor
around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything
I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it
that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that
tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of
the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you
see it?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great, follow the cord to the plug
and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall."
"Yes, yes it is plugged in."
"When you were behind the monitor, did
you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, I need you to look back there
again and find the other
cable."
"Okay, I found it."
"Follow it for me and tell me if
it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh, well, can you see if it
is?"
"No."
"Even if you put your knee on something
and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's
because it's dark in here."
"Dark?"
"Yes the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light
then."
"I can't"
"No, why not?"
"Because there is a power outage."
"A power.....a power outage? Aha,
okay, we've got it licked
now. Do you still have the boxes
and manuals and all the packing
stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I have them in the closet."
"Good, go get them and pact your computer
up just like it was
when you got it. Then take
it back to the store where you bought
it."
"Really, is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose, what should I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to
own a computer."
