Certificate of Upgrade
to
Complete Asshole
is Awarded to:
________________________
In Recognition of Your Obnoxious Attitude,
Ability to Piss People Off, Complete Asinine Juvenile Behavior and Total
Dedication to Personal Gain Without Regard to the Many Hardships You Have
Forced Upon Friends, Family and Others During Your Lifetime, You Have Become
a Legend in YOUR Own Mind.
To Recognize Your Upgrade From Half-Assed
to Complete Asshole, Gives All concerned Great Satisfaction. If Anyone,
for Any Reason, Doubts Your Status,
JUST BE YOURSELF!!!
Effective Date:___________
Signed:___________________________________
