| Anti-Body: | Against everyone |
| Artery: | The study of fine paintings |
| Barium: | What you do when C.P.R. fails |
| Benign: | What you are after you be eight, and before you be ten. |
| Bowel: | What you do after a good performance |
| Cariac Arrest: | To be taken into custody after stealing a Coupe De Ville |
| Cardiology: | Advanced study of poker playing |
| Charlie Horse: | A 10 to 1 long shot in the Kentucky Derby |
| Caesarean Section: | A district in Rome |
| Colic: | A sheep dog |
| Coma: | A punctuation mark |
| Congenital: | Friendly |
| Dilate: | To live long |
| Genes: | What you wear when you are cutting the lawn |
| G.I. Series: | Baseball game between teams of soldiers |
| Hangnail: | A coat hook |
| Hemorrhoid: | A male alien from outer space |
| Herpes: | What the little woman does when we stop at a rest area |
| Hormones: | What a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid |
| Medical Staff: | A doctor's cane |
| Minor Operation: | Coal digging |
| Morbid: | A higher bid |
| Nitrate: | Lower than the day rate |
| Node: | Was aware of |
| Organic: | Organ repairman |
| Outpatient: | A person who has fainted |
| Paralyze: | Two far-fetched stories |
| Pharmacist: | Person who makes a living dealing IN agriculture |
| Post Operative: | A letter carrier |
| Protein: | In favor of young people |
| Rectum: | What our neighbor has done with all the vehicles he ever owned |
| Scalpel: | What you stand on to clean windows in a hi-rise apartment |
| Tablet: | A small table |
| Tumor: | An extra pair |
| Urine | Opposite of mine |
| Varicose Veins: | Veins which are very close |
