Accounting Humor
What's the definition of an accountant?Someone
who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
What's the definition of a good tax accountant?Someone
who has a loophole named after him.
When does a person decide to become an accountant?When
he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
What does an accountant use for birth control?His
personality.
What's an extroverted accountant?One
who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
What's an auditor? Someone
who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Why did the auditor cross the road? Because
he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
There are three kinds of accountants in
the world: those who can count and those who can't.
How do you drive an accountant completely
insane? Tie him to a chair,
stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary
people don't? Depreciation.
An accountant is someone who knows the cost
of everything and the value of nothing.
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake
and then spend three hours trying to find it."
