J.T.'s JOKE PAGE
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"I love a good laugh, and making others laugh too. So, here are some of my favourite jokes I'll like to share with you ……… heehee…." |
A minister passed along to a young preacher a trick he used when he saw the congregation nodding."I suddenly say'Last night I held another man's wife in my arms.' When everyone sits up, I say:'It was my own mother' ". The young preacher decided to try it. The next Sunday when most of his congregation were drowsing, he said in a loud voice,"You know, last night I held another man's wife in my arms." Stunned, the congregation sat bolt upright and stared, whereupon the preacher stammered,"Oh dear- I've forgotten who she was!"
Fortuneteller to frog:"You are going to meet a beautiful young woman. From the moment she sets her eyes on you she will have an insatiable desire to know all about you. You'll Fascinate her and she will be compelled to get close to you.
Frog:"Where am I? AT a singles club?"
Fortuneteller:"Biology Class"
Heard about the girl who had a date with King Tut? Nine months later she became a mummy.
One Sunday morning, a pastor apologized to his congregation for the bandage on his face. "I was thinking about my sermon while shaving," he explained,"and cut my face". After his sermon ended, he found a note on his desk saying:"Next time, why not think about your face and cut the sermon."
Strong Alvin sat at the café bragging about his athletic prowess, No one dared challenge him, but a smart alec pipped: "I'll bet you 100 bucks that I can push something in a wheelbarrow for 100 metres and you can't push it back. Al looked at the scrawny thin guy and cooly said: "I'll take you on, if you dare" So, they went to a corner. Al said: "Now let's see what you're made of."
The smart kid replied:" Get in."
"What does a billion dollars mean to You, who are almighty?" a man asked God. God replied:"Hardly a cent". "Then what does a thousand centuries mean to You?" "Hardly a second" came the reply.
"Oh God, give me a cent," the man asked
"In a second" was the reply
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Two men were standing in a bar. One turned to the other and said:"I'll bet you $100 that I can bite my left eye". The other man accepted, and the first guy took out his glass left eye and bit it. Next, the guy said:"Now, I'll give you a chance to earn your money back. Let's bet another $100 that I can bite my right eye." The other man thought:"Hmm, he can't possibly have 2 glass eyes" So the challenge was accepted again. Thus, the first guy took out his fake teeth and bit his right eye.
A woman came into the shop I work and asked me for a certain baby food which was advertised to make happier, more beautiful babies. "Tell me," she said as I handed it to her,"do I take it or does my husband?"
One cannibal to another as they ate a clown :" Tell me, does this taste funny to you?"
In a spitting competition, there were three contestents. The first guy stepped up and spat ten grams of saliva into his challenge cup. Next, the second guy went up and spat fifteen grams of saliva into his cup. The third guy thought:"I'll never be able to match these two guys ……." So after thinking for awhile, he got an idea. He stepped up, drank up the two cups of saliva, and vommitted it all out into his cup……… He won.
What is a deer with no eye?
"No idea"
THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, FOLKS !!! 
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Copyright 1999 Jonathan Tan Production.
