What should I do to make (the first attempt at) oral sex easiest?

From: [email protected] (Peter L. Hurd)
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1992 05:46:19 GMT

So I asked the expert, she said:

1) really like the penis that you're sucking
2) don't let any air in through the back of the throat, big vacuum.
3) Horizontal strumming with the tongue across the base of the head on
the underside to get limp penises up
4) Use the top of the tongue to make friction on the head, pressing
it up against the roof of the mouth.

I'd add: watch the teeth & I know this isn't anything new or exciting,
it's really difficult to describe how to perform oral sex on a man, just
as it is very difficult to describe to someone how to tie shoelaces or
bowties. But for the good of the species, I think it's worth a try.

From: [email protected]

The best way to learn is to experiment and learn from feedback. Different
people like different things. There are some general comments that might
be worth making. At the least it will get someone to contradict me and
start a useful discussion.

FOR HIM:

Deep-throating apparently requires handling the gag reflex by swallowing
when it happens. In my opinion, it isn't that important. Complete
enclosure isn't the strong point of oral stimulation. If that is
important to you, try something else. She may be able to help by using
her hands on the part of the shaft she can't enclose. The advantage of
oral stimulation is the control and variety it provides, which are only
available with shallower penetration anyway.

From others.somewhere.edu:

I find that it helps if you are hungry when you do it. Never attempt going
down on a guy if you've eaten a big meal recently. Make sure that your
not thirsty when you start. For some reason thirst closes up the back of
your throat.

Also, concentrate on breathing through your nose deeply while doing it.
(This is the only way I can hold off chocking on my toothbrush every
morning.)

According to Linda Lovelace of "Deep Throat" fame, the most comfortable way
to give a blow job is if your throat is straight. In order to achieve
this, try laying on his chest.

She also suggests that you practice by sticking your fingers down your
throat and wiggling them around til you feel the gag reflex and then ease
off. Repeat until you've defeated the reflex, it'll take time she says.

From [email protected]:

FOR HER:

First of all, recognize that women prefer gentler and more rhythmic
stimulation than men. An advantage of using the tongue instead of the
fingers is that it naturally produces about the right amount of pressure.
Stimulation inside the vagina needs to be firmer and also requires more
reach, so it is better handled with the fingers. If she is sensitive
internally, there is no reason to be a purist and insist on using only
your mouth. Trying to apply firm pressure or get too much reach with
my tongue is the only way I've ever had it get tired. Otherwise it seems
to be inexhaustible for hours.

The tongue and lips are obviously the source of most oral stimulation.
I have read descriptions of using the teeth for stimulation but I don't
recommend it. The tissues are very sensitive and one uncontrolled body
movement from her could cause a lot of pain and leave a scratch. This
can also occur with fingernails, so keep them short, with no rough
edges. The only use I've found for teeth during oral sex is pressing
their front surface through the cushion of the upper lip to apply firm
pressure to the buried root of the clitoris at the base of the pubic
bone. If she really wants hard pressure on the clitoris, you might try
using your teeth with your lips rolled inwards to cover the surfaces (a
technique borrowed from nipple stimulation).

The clitoris is your main area of concentration. Some women don't like
it to be stimulated directly because it is too sensitive. It also may
disappear under its hood at some stages of arousal and stopping to try
and locate it again disrupts the stimulation. In both these cases, the
hood and labia (lips) nearby should be stimulated to indirectly
stimulate the clitoris. The labia are sensitive themselves as well.
Trying to stimulate the vagina orally is difficult and not very effective
except for a little variety. I've always found the 69 (mutual oral sex)
positions give the wrong angle for best access, though that might be due
to less experience with them. They definitely make it more difficult for
the female to stimulate the male well, since they place the sensitive
underside of the penis away from her tongue. It is usually better to
take turns giving and receiving anyway, just to avoid distraction.

There is a wide variety of types of stimulation that can be used. The
tongue can be used flat to broadly stroke areas or pointed to tease a
small area. Linear, circular or any other imaginable motions can be
used. The lips can apply suction, press something between them, or have
their wet and outward rolled inner surfaces used for broad strokes like
the tongue. The nose can provide some interesting stimulation when the
tongue is occupied lower down. Mustaches and beards can be used to
tickle with.

You can blow a narrow stream of cool air at a spot or breathe warm air
over an entire area (just don't try to inflate the vagina; it may be
dangerous). Experiment and find out what works best for you and your
partner. It may change at different times and levels of arousal. Light
teasing and varied stimulation are good for early arousal, but steady
rhythmic stimulation is best for bringing her to orgasm. You just have
to learn her responses to avoid changing stimulation too quickly for her
to get excited or staying with the same stimulation after it has lost
effectiveness.