Stories
Of course malt liquor is a serious subject, one not to be taken lightly, but of course everyone has their stories. 
 
Leading the fight against yuppie beer...
Jim Caron We here back east kinda rejected the notion of micro-brews, preppy-brews and other yuppie crap...It all started at last year's Xmas party where people brought in things like Pete's wicked Piss, Sam Adams, Harpoon and other overpriced dog pee....I brought in a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and my Bud brought in a case of Schaefer....guess what went first - yup, you got it, The Pabst and the Schaefer....Next year I figured I'd test the limits of our 'discriminating' beer drinkers...I brought in Colt 45, Haffie's and Narragansett, a local brew historically known for tasting alot like leaded gasoline....you guessed it - the cheap stuff when first...since then we've been on a mission to drink all the best of the worst... 

Just wait till next year's Xmas party....


It's not..........beer
 
"Disco" Chris Berg My last year in college we had a party just before Christmas break, and we were deciding what kind of keg to get. Our friend worked at a liquor store in town, so we got a deal on a keg of... 

The BULL.

Figuring that we wouldn't need to buy another keg if we got this, we decided not to tell anyone what it was. The keg just said "Stroh Brewery, Detroit MI, St. Paul, MN" on it, so we told them it was Old Swill Draft. About two hours later, after playing some drinkng games, our friend Marc threw up for about 25 minutes. After about four hours, nearly everyone passed out on the floor. They all woke up wondering how they got so drunk. There was almost half a keg left...

We did it again that spring, and this time, when the cops showed up at around 11, there was less than a 2-liter left (from only about 20 people)...

In any case, I kind of like the stuff from the keg...


What a pity...
 
Aaron Golub I once saw the saddest thing: A derelict sitting on a stoop with his friends, places his "40" down on the step. He knocks it with his foot, it rolls down two steps and shatters. I wanted to buy him a new one, but I decided not to get involved.

It happens to me all the time...
 
Jason Ambrose We went out for my birthday one year, and, having tired of drinking the omnipresent Scam Adams, we stopped off at the 7-11 to pick up some malts for the drive home (driver excluded). On the way out, we happened upon a hapless gentlemen by the name of Jesse whose motorcycle had broken down. We offered him a grenade, our condolences, and a ride home, all of which he eagerly accepted. About 8 blocks from his house, Mickey got the best of me, and I expunged all my birthday gifts upon poor Jesse, who was sitting next to me. Apologizing as I wiped my mouth, I explained that it was my birthday, to which he responded, "Hey, that's ok, this kind of thing happens all the time." We gave him another one with our apologies. I think he made out like a bandit.

Malt-O-Meal
 
Kleetis Ever tried a 16 oz. malt heated to perfection in a dishwasher? OE8 and Magnum do particularly well with a bit o' flame. Nothing like a hot OE8 for breakfast...beats the hell out of a bowl of oatmeal, and gives you a little "extra kick" to get started in the morning. The heat brings out the extra sweetness in a can of OE8. 

The recipe is simple. Take a well-aged, room temperature can of OE8 or Magnum- and not Green Death. Throw in the dishwasher. Serve hot and drink fast. 


$1.23 Special (yeah, sure it's true)
 
Grand Master Cheez Whiz  Me and my boy G-Love were down in South East Washington, i.e. Antacostia. We were looking for this chick, but that's a-whole-nother story. 

So we get lost, and go into this store on the corner of 23rd and Wyoming South East, and the store was called Pickles Liquors. So we go in to get ourselves some forties. Right out in front of the busted up freezer that had a placid combination of icecream bars and 40 oz yohoos there was a dis-play (I like that word "dis-play") of some 40 oz. bottles with no lables. Just little orangish reddish price tags sayin' $1.23, and a big yellow sign written in korean and english sayin' "Special $1.23."

So me and my boy go up to the dude and say "dude, What's up with this?" 

And the dude, muffled by 3 inches of plexiglass, says "Dollar Twenty-Three"

I say "Why don't this shit have lables?"

And the dude gets irate and says ""Dollar Twenty Three Special!"

I look at my boy and between us with some help for the "Have a penny leave a penny" bin we bought two.

I dont remember much after that, but the next day (I think it was the next day) me and my boy go back, and the store was burned down. 

Ever since, I have been searching for the $1.23 special

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