DAZED AND CONFUSED French Car Day of Victoria

By Simon Fitzpatrick "8G-Man." Adelaide South Australia Australia

The 1995 French Car Day presented a wide choice of vehicles in which Matthew and myself could travel to Melbourne. Unfortunately none of our vehicles made the final selection. Matthews' new Lotus Europa and trusty 17TS were in sympathy with each other with cooling system troubles. My newly acquired R8 Gordini was also suffering from cooling system problems. The final selection of cars was my R4 Van and R12 with Matthew's parents' Fuego on offer. The Van was quickly ruled out, as the challenge had been successfully undertaken last year, and the R12 was not considered stylish enough by Matthew.

Thus it was the Fuego that transported twenty-three 15/17 rear window louvres, and half of Phillip's 17 convertible motor. A leisurely eight hours later, it was considered the quietest trip we had done.

Unfortunately, due to a combination of problems and lack of time, the motor that we had envisaged installing for Phillip in time for the French Car Day did not eventuate (another story for another time). However Phillip appeared pleased with the new piston/liner set and rods with reground crank and all new ancillaries ready to be installed in his block.

Saturday 25th March 1995

The first job of the day was to remove the cylinder head and engine from Phillip's convertible, so that he could dismantle and replace the worn parts. It was then off to see Volker and deliver the louvres. Volker was in the process of making his 15 friendly to the environment, and reducing the slight oil consumption problem, due to excessive crankcase pressure.
In the meantime Paul mobiled us to tell that he was preparing his secret weapon R8 for Sunday in the absence of a 15 or 17. A party was to be held by Paul later that evening.
On arriving at Paul's house, the party was in full swing, with Jason and his friend from Sydney, Michael and Paul all viewing an Anniversary Alpine video. Phillip and his friend arrived later. Paul could not be convinced to drive the secret weapon from its storage to his house, notwithstanding that the car was unregistered, uninsured, slightly noisy and quite illegal. It was not until the next day that that we would see and hear it.

Sunday 26th March 1995

Early on Sunday morning, Paul collected a trailer and returned to gather willing helpers to collect the Secret Weapon. Unfortunately the willing helpers were still in bed or otherwise disposed. Michael was deemed too clean, thus it was I who was the privileged one to help Paul in his task. Later, I did not consider the task of being towed behind the Peugeot, which was towing a car trailer, which was in turn towing myself in an R8, with flat tyres and fogged windscreen at 5oC a true privilege. Paul removed me from the car to drive the Peugeot so that he could start the R8, a feat that he achieved. Phase 1 was completed, Phase 2 involved getting the R8 with 8cm of ground clearance up on a trailer with shorter than usual ramps. First a crossmember got caught, then the gearbox, finally the trailer was unhitched and tilted to winch the car on and get it perfectly balanced.

On arriving back at Research, a small crowd had gathered to view, in surprise and astonishment, the secret weapon. All remarks were not entirely complementary.
We proceeded to the venue of Brighton in a convoy of Jasons 17TS, Michaels 17, our Fuego and the Peugeot-R8 Combination. It appeared that we were driving in circles, then Michael performed a quick left turn while Paul proceeded straight ahead. We followed Paul, who had choice words to say about Michael, and made the first of a dozen U-Turns and sixteen stops and starts. This prompted Matthew to become agitated and comment that it must be Bananaland, while questioning how long these people lived in Melbourne.

On arriving at the venue, we were glared by the numerous vehicles already on display. The 15/17 Register was there in force, with at least nine members and cars present. Among other Renaults was an R8 Gordini, at that stage leading the historic rally car championship. A heavily modified square eye R10 with 5 Alpine motor, Caravelle S, R6 from S.A. and 16TX (an ex S.A. car now in immaculate condition). Alpines were also in abundance, with GTA's in V6 and Turbo forms, A110 V85 (for sale thru Alpine Affaire) and an electric blue 5 Turbo 2, among other A310's.
Other interesting (non Renault) cars were a Citroen Big 6 convertible, among numerous DS's, GS's and BX's with several ancient and modern 2CV's. Peugeots were also present with numerous 504 V6's, 203's, 403's and 404's with a Pininfarina 404 convertible also putting in an appearance. Later in the day two Bugatti's appeared before their pilots could wait no more to enjoy their driving experiences further and soon departed.

The day was drawing to a close, it was decided by the 15/17 contingent, that a quick drive to Arthur's Seat was in order. In the excitement and haste that followed, it was not noticed that Robby in his 16 and Volker had been left behind, this led to everyone stopping immediately, and choosing who should retrieve them. A distant Weber roar was heard, it was thought that it must be Volker, then out of the distance came a 16 charging at great speed, Robby was soon followed up by Volker. They realised they had been left behind, and had to travel rather quickly to catch up. (Enough said)

Arthurs Seat is located approximately 60 km south east of Melbourne. It is a public road leading to a lookout over Melbourne, and is also used as a historic racing hillclimb track. This was the reason for our trip. In fairness to Matthew's parents' Fuego, we proceeded carefully, but briskly trailing Robbies 16 "G". Robby soon left us in a mixture of oil and tyre haze from the 16 and preceding cars. At the top everyone waited for their cars to recover, while trying to determine whose car belched most smoke. It was decided that Volkers special EPA approved tube was the main culprit.
The gathering then adjourned to the nearest Pancake Kitchen for nourishment and to swap stories and compare war wounds with each others car.

As a suitable encore to the days events, Chris, who was driving with Wendy in her 17 attempted to do the Biggest Burnout in the World. He succeeded in breaking the safety tabs on a driveshaft, leaving them immobilised at traffic lights. The driveshafts had been specially modified to accommodate the five speed box in her car by sleeving them. This appears to provide some protection to the diff. It is much easier to change a driveshaft than a diff!

Monday 27th March 1995

Volker and Michael took Matthew and I on a quick shopping trip and tourist walk around Melbourne.

Tuesday 28th March 1995

Our alternative return route to Eudunda which was to be a quiet, undemanding trip, caused Matthew great distress. He has earned the title of Mr. Danger to Society, for yet again attracting attention to himself by doing 120km/h on a straight wide road 80km from any town, by a policeman with a radar gun and chair.

Thanks must go to Paul for letting us trash his loungeroom and use his facilities again.
Thanks everyone.

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