By Carne 'Berserka' Ragless, Canberra A.C.T. Australia
I Thought I'd drop a note from plebbbb-land (public service land, for the
uninitiated)
I've included a picture of the "Slut" on holiday, check out the
curtains in the background!
It is aptly named due to its many legendary owners. This includes a keen
Renault mechanic which imported it from Scotland in the first place, to
a possible alcho suffering an unquenchable midlife crisis, and lastly one
of Canberra's most sleazy used car dealers (and who knows in between). In
other words this poor french school girl has been afforded all the respect
of a french tart, whipped and beaten into a shark feeding frenzy with little
to no grace given to her integrity. Her private parts have been interfered
with, fiddled with, and have finally been the subject of voyeurism. "Enough
my poor child sleep".
At present she runs a 16 Tx motor, with 155 psi per cylinder, and turns
over at 4000 rpm at 100kmh (It will run cleanly to 6500 rpm). The carbs
run well now (thanks Paul) but prior to its recent carb death some sick
child of the corn ran it with no air bleeds and f9 mains, defiantly weird.
Regardless of this and other oddities it pulled well and impressed those
fortunate enough to be handcuffed to its tow bar.
It pulls reasonably well below 4 grand and very strongly after that
I know it has a Waggot cam, but of what grind I can not say, I am under
the impression that it is fairly wild since it is a tad gutless at lower
rpm (but not terribly). As a result of this suspicion I run the clearances
fairly loose, as I have been advised that with a wild cam 10thou is a safe
measure.
Suspension wise, thicker and slightly taller rear springs have been installed
and as a result it sits slightly higher at the rear, I think it looks rather
rude......I am under the impression that this has helped its weight distribution/bias
for the better. The same heavier gauge spring, but of standard length grace
the front struts. The front sway bar is also of a heavier gauge, its not
Gordini thick, but its thick enough for me (2-3 mm thicker than standard
17tl). Thankfully the last owner replaced the ball joints and wish bones.
This ensures that the front suspension transmits and contains all forces
necessary when cornering.
This efficiency adds up to a brain jarring- cell killing ride when running
on rougher roads. But the handling.... it's Fantastic ! Also worth a mention
are the 14 x 6' rims, widened Ts/Gordini type, wearing 195/60 Dunlop Le
mans. I would love a baby set of Yokohama 205/60's (probably needlessly
expensive and wide for my applications (posser !)) the 195 Lemans are perfectly
adequate, and value wise I would recommend them. As a result of the rim
change I have a set of Belgian Amil 13 x 5' alloys shod with the same brand
of rubber (175 x 70) currently these grace my shopping trolley (definitely
not battle axe iron Gron) R 12, they make it look pretty mean. I was chancing
that the change in rim and tire size would lengthen the 17's gearing and
give it a slightly better cruising speed. But due to the profile change,
from 70 on a 13' to 60 on a 14', it amounted to little. But in this trim
it will pull 160 kmh, though with a less sympathetic driver I think she
could be pushed faster, until her ligaments snap. But this is understandable
since it lost its 5th testicle (an application of non gender bias). This
speed was obtained with all of its 4wd in suit, and obviously not engaged.
"Ah ha.....4wd I hear you say!, I thought Id surprise you with it".
Yes this poor school girl was destined to work on all fours. This car has
had some fairly radical work done in regards to drive train componentry.
It has received a kit transfer case which is located on the end of the gear
box replacing the casing that houses the 5th gear. The existent shaft that
held the 5th gear is now used to select the 4wd. This exits through the
transfer case in a low offset position at the end of the gear box. This
is then taken up by a custom made tail shaft to a an appropriately geared
differential axil. The diff/axil sits in place of a standard bar axil and
requires no customising of body or suspension. The brakes remain standard
17 and apart from the increase in weight and function all components work
and look indifferent to the standard set up. The only real customising has
been the cutting and welding of the floor to locate the ball shift, gear
stick, and 4wd engagement shifter. The alien that created/bred this thing
was truly ahead of the human race. I've attempted a bit of dirt driving
4wd style, and all I can say is that I'm definitely not capable (something
that should only be attempted under the influence of intoxicants in the
Brindabella ranges). Put your foot down, give it the berries and all you
do is go forward, nothing else, it's a weird sensation being on a loose
surface and not loosing traction.
But at this moment I am undertaking a refit in dry dock. Overhauling the
engine, gear box, suspension, and other items such as upholstery and paint.
I hope this blurb has been interesting, I will keep the Register informed
of progress and hope to back on the road soon. Intense and enjoyable motoring
Carnage.
P.S
I apologise for any sexist remarks or references within this story, what's
said is said, but If you like I'm quite open to any suggestions for punishment.
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