If the officer is a State Patrolman, use
Cross Da Border Baby!
-stare at the officer dead in the eyes and say, "Yo Quiero Taco Bell."

I like blue monkey anuses.

I use this on the way to Madrid. Personally, it is one of my favorites.
"What is that, a shotgun?" Procedure
-complement his "gun" and ask to see it. (Never tell him he shoots blanks)

Strip.
-Strip.

Are you hungry?
Dinner Bells
-Follow the officer home for dinner.

This one always works for my pimp.
The Truth
-Apologize and blame it on the alcky.

BOOM
-Spontaneously combust when the officer is near.

No chauvanism here
Hello Ma'am
-If the officer happens to be a woman, call her a "BITCH!"


Babies are so cute, aren't they?
Highway Infantilism
-Cry like a baby.

Officers back off with this one like me and soap.
SMILE!
-Explain to the officer that there is a hidden camera.