Some Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

             If a man walks out into the forest and speaks ...
                                          
                ... and there is no woman there to hear him
                                        
                         ...... is he still wrong?

Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Motorcycle at any time of the month.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle whe the old one is _really_worn.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on
your Motorcycle.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you thinkthat Motorcycles are equals.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't
have to apoligize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old
Motorcycle after you dump it.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
When you're done riding your motorcycle you can just get off it.
You don't have to take your motorcycle to dinner to get a ride on it.
You can leave your motorcycle out in the garage and it won't complain about the cold.
You can ignore your motorcycle and it won't ask why.
Your motorcycle won't ask where you've been in your car.
Your motorcycle won't look at the grease on your collar and ask where you got it from.
Your motorcycle won't sniff suspiciously at the petrol fumes when you've been riding another motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't complain if they're insufficiently lubricated ; they just don't go quite as fast.
When you finish riding your motorcycle you feel like getting on again straight afterwards.
You can drop your motorcycle and pick it right up again
If the seat doesn't match your preferences you can get a custom one reasonable cheaply
Having a really loud motorcycle can be good.
Having an oversized motorcycle can be good.
You can ride your motorcycle in public.
You can flirt with girls when you're with your motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't mind you wearing your boots while riding.
Motorcycles don't mind you leaving them with other strange motorcycles.
Motorcycles like riding in groups.
Motorcycles like racing. The one who gets there first IS the winner.
It is always good when your with your motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't need commitment, they just need petrol.
If your motorcycle dies, you can just get a new one.
If your motorcycle isn't working, you can always borrow your mate's.
If you see a girl riding a motorcycle you don't have to worry
Your motorcycle takes a bit longer to cool down.
You only need to ride your motorcycle in one position
Your motorcycle doesn't complain when riding in the back of the truck.
Motorcycles are recyclable and ozone friendly.
Your motorcycle still looks the same after two beers.
Riding strange motorcycles without coverage is perfectly safe.
When you fart on your Motorcycle, it doesn't care.
The darkies a Motorcycle leaves behind always smell great.
A Motorcycle never leaves a wet spot you have to sleep on.
A Motorcycle always wants to go faster.
Motorcycles never have headaches.
Motorcycles are never too tired to ride
Motorcycles don't kick you outta bed when it's time to wake up.
Motorcycles don't roll over and pass out after you've gone for a ride.
When your Motorcycle hiccups, you REALLY ARE concerned.
When you goose your Motorcycle, it wheelies.
When you get sick of your Motorcycle, you can sell it.
Motorcycles are cheap to keep (unless you have a Ducati).
Motorcyles always pump that adrenaline, even on a bad day.
Motorcyles don't ask you to cook dinner.
Two can ride a motorcycle in public and people don't stare.
You don't have to prove to your motorcycle that you like your motorcycle.
Motorcycles always trust you - no matter what.
You don't mind if others love your motorcycle, too.
You don't mind if others want to ride your motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't smell bad when they get dirty.
You don't have to pay alimony/child support to your ex-motorcycle.
Motorcycles improve when you bore 'em and stroke'em.!
When you spend money on your motorcycle to improve its looks, it works.
Motorcycles only try to kill you while you're awake.(don't know what Mr Bobbit thinks about this!)
Motorcycles don't look any different in the morning.
A motorcycle's rear always keeps its looks.
While riding motorcycles you actually want to "wear" the rubber.
Motorcycles like going down.
Motorcycles don't bitch at anything you do.
Motorcycles don't complain if you ride them to hard.
Motorcycles don't cost as much to make them look better.
You can get a motorcycle that looks better than your buddy's.
When you ride a motorcycle you don't have to have a condom. Your motorcycle doesn't care if you leave the seat up.
Your motorcycle doesn't call you up at 3 am because there's a opossum in the back yard.

Some Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Men :-)
If you throw enough money at a motorcycle you can eventually fix it.
Motorcycles are better than men because they have a kill switch.
Motorcycles are better than men because there is nothing quite like having nothing but horsepower throbbing between your legs.
When motorcycles spring a leak the only place it splashes is on the road.
When you grip a motorcycle with your thighs it doesn't think you're being kinky.
Motorcycles will never tell you it's time to stop riding and settle down to barefoot pregnancy.
Motorcycles can't GET you pregnant.
Motorcycles know when it's too fuckin. cold to ride.
Motorcyles don't ask you to cook dinner.
Motorcycles don't roll over and pass out after you've gone for a ride

Some more reasons why women can be as good as, or better than, motorcycles:
1) A good woman maintains herself.
2) A good woman can help you get more motorcycles.
3) After a good ride a woman will kiss you.
4) A woman is easier to carry over the threshold.
5) Both can improve with a few miles.
6) Both can make you feel better with a good ride.
7) Most places don't require you wear a helmet when riding a woman.
8) Both respond to loving attention.
9) A woman can love you back.
10) Both can leave you cold, stranded and broke.
11) Women are warm even when not running.
12) Women can be fun in any kind of weather.
13) Leather goes well with both.
14) Holding on too tight to either one will cause you problems.
15) When you're too tired a woman can take you for a ride.
16) A good woman can pay for her own accessories.
17) You should be a skilled expert before attempting internal modifications to either one.
18) Both can hurt you if you misuse them.
19) Even the best motorcycle can't bring you chicken soup when you have a cold.
20) It's more dangerous to let your motorcycle take you home after a few beers.
21) A motorcycle can only take you to the beer, a woman can bring the beer to you.
22) The beauty of a woman is more than skin deep.
23) With either, you get what you pay for.
24) Women come in more varieties than motorcycles.
25) A motorcycle won't remember you when you're gone.
26) Both come in models that may exceed your abilities.
27) It's hard to keep up with the fastest kinds of either one.
28) With either you can still have a good time going slow.
29) Both can cause your heart to pound, and make you sweat and shake.
30) Spending too much time thinking about either one qualifies as an obsession.
31) Both can provide years of good times.
32) Life is more interesting with either one.
33) Your parents may disapprove of either.
34) Both can help you go places.
35) When a woman tips over she can usually pick herself back up.
36) Both will take you through plenty of twists and turns.
37) The best riders are smooth with both.
38) When a woman is leaking she will usually stop on her own.
39) A woman's clutch never wears out.
40) A good woman performs well with just one ring.
41) Both can break chains under the right conditions.
42) You have a problem when either blows a fuse.
43) A woman's high beams are automatic.
44) You don't need rain gear when riding a woman in the wet.
45) With either there's no substitute for good riding skills.
46) Women are better after they're 20 years old.
47) It's more fun to tickle a woman.
48) Riding a motorcycle inside the house tears up the carpets.
49) Both are a challenge to master.
50) I can't live without either.

You might be a biker if ....

Your dog runs on his hind legs when you say pop a wheelie.
Everything you own has Harley-Davidson on it.
You still carry a full tool kit because you remember the old days.
Your 3 year old has a chain wallet. (With phone numbers in it!).
People say you look strange in a car.
You remember the local H-D shop before it became a booteek.
Your dog likes to down a six-pack after chasing pussy ......cats.
You carry a master link on your key chain.

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