This page contains some topical humor about Asians in general, particularly those who share the unique ability to poke some self-depecrating humor, and find a way to keep a sense of humor through difficult times.
Your mileage may vary. Some of these are, unfortunately, less-than-positive stereotypes. FWIW, these are not necessarily race-oriented, but more along the lines of specific qualities (e.g., financial prudence, ecological concern). No flames, please...
visitors since 04 July 1998.
Last updated: 11 July 1998
I found 14 of these applicable to me. What about you?
Subject: 50 ways to know an Asian
1. You were/are a good student with very high GPAs
2. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or
finance
3. You have more than one college degrees, especially more than one
Master's
4. If you play a musical instrument, it must be the piano
5. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table
6. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil
7. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it
8. You beat eggs with chopsticks
9. You always leave outdoor shoes at the door
10. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack
11. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times
12. You boil water before drinking
13. You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean
14. You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods
15. You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage
16. You have a rice cooker
17. You're a wok user
18. You fight over who pays the dinner bill
19. You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it
20. You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
21. Your don't dryclean cloths, even if they need to be drycleaned
22. You iron your own shirts
23. You like congee (Zhou1) with thousand year old eggs (Song1Hua1egg)
24. You always cook yourself, even if you hate it
25. You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full
26. You keep most of your money in a savings account
27. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off
28. When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water
29. You hate to waste food
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going
to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them
b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice
or one leftover chicken wing
30. You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars
31. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses
32. When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them
33. You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner bottles and
little soap bars that you take every time you stay in a hotel
34. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in
plastic packets, which you "save" every time you get take out or go to
McDonald's
35. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel
means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)
36. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself
38. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding
the dance floor trying to look cool
39. Your house/apt. is always cold in winter, and hot in summer
40. Your mom drives her Mercedes to Price Club, or ShoppersFood
Warehouse regardless how far it is, even if Loblaw's is next door
41. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling
Directory Assistance costs 50 cents
42. You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during weekends
43. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached
44. You never call your parents just to say "hi"
45. You think ONLY Japanese can make good CARS!
46. You use a colored face cloth every morning
47. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places
48. You are a Chicago Bulls fan
49. You never discuss your love life with your parents
50. You take this message and forward it to all your asian friends (!).