For those northerners, you might recognize this scenerio. For the want-to-be northerners, this might give you second thoughts about moving north!!

Dec 9. We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree ansd shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the streets. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.

Dec 10. It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray.

Dec 11. Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

Dec 12. Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4 x 4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the damn white stuff last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That stupid snowplow came by twice today.

Dec 13. 2 degrees outside. More f***in' snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on my way to emergency room and was totaled.

Dec 14. Damn white shit keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the f***in' mailbox. If I ever catch the S.O.B. who drives that snowplow I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 MPH and buries our driveway again! Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Dec 15. Six more f***in' inches of snow and f***in' sleet and f***in' ice and god knows what other kind of white shit fell last night. I wounded that idiot snowplow asshole with an ice ax but he got away. Wife has left me and moved back home to Florida. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow-blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill -22 f***in' degrees. "Winter Wonderland", my ass!! I'm moving back to Florida!

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