Wes' Jokes


Bumper Stickers or “Snicker Stickers”


Constipated people don't give a crap
Practice safe sex, go screw yourself
If you drink don't park, accidents cause people
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut
Please tell your pants its not polite to point
If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better
My kid got your honor roll student pregnant
Thank you for pot smoking
To all you virgins THANKS for nothing
If at first you don't succeed - blame someone else and seek counseling
Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings"
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer
Horn broken...watch for finger
It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.
If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
I Have The Body Of A God......Buddha
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Illiterate? Write For Help
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
Seen on the back of a biker's vest - - If you can read this, the bitch fell off..
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
If you can read this, please flip me back over...(seen upside down, on a jeep)
Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph
(Seen on a restaurant door)GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge
If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut?
Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one
Ax me about Ebonics
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
Boldly going nowhere
CAT: The other white meat
CAUTION - Driver legally blonde!
Don't be sexist - broads hate that
Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets
Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull

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