Timing is everything... or is it?
More and more getting married seems to be a big production. The attire, decorations, music and refreshments are planned for months, the budget is financed creatively (if not comfortably) , and the whole day is choreographed to precision. And, not surprisingly, the results are often awe-inspiring. But after working on and attending weddings for almost 15 years, I have to wonder if perhaps the focus on having "the perfect wedding" has removed some of the joy from weddings.
I'm a perfectionist personally, and when I design for brides, it's my job and my pleasure to "get everything just right". I wouldn't work in this industry if I didn't want to do that. Obviously, I want every wedding to go off without a hitch, but I try to remind couples and their families that although we all want things to go well, a wedding is not a performance. There is no reason to add that extra pressure to such an important and emotional day-- or to get away from the reality and spirit of the event.
Your wedding should be a happy and memorable day, but hopefully only the first of many you will share with your new husband and your families and friends. Allow in your mind for the unexpected, the spontaneous. Savor the day. Remember that this day above all others is yours to control and enjoy!
Who cares if the ceremony starts 10 minutes late? Don't be pressured to take couple portraits before the ceremony, if you prefer to meet first at the altar-- or to save them for afterwards, if you'd prefer to get them out of the way. When you reach the altar, feel free to say "hello" to your groom, or shake hands with the minister, before beginning the vows, if you wish. It's no disaster if the rings don't slip easily onto nervous fingers, or the flower girl decides to sit in the middle of your train.
Go at your own pace. Let no one rush you. Make it right for yourselves. Keep both your sense of humor-- and your sense of wonder-- about everything. And don't miss the little beautiful moments worrying about the grand scheme of the event.
My Favorite Accessory--Garters
I encourage brides to use all of their accessories to enhance the overall effect they are trying to achieve in their weddings. Finding or making headpieces, shoes, purses, and other accessories with fabric, lace, beads, or other details which are used on your gown or in other parts of the wedding helps you tie your wedding look together, and create a strong and consistent effect.
Each accessory can be very important in its own way, but if I had to pick my favorite bridal accessory for pure fun and sentiment, it would probably be garters. Garters are sometimes an after thought, the "oh-my-gosh-I-need-something-blue" brides look for a month before the wedding. But this little item can be much more than that.
Making Your Own Garters
Making a garter or garters is a project which requires a small amount of time and money, and only basic sewing skills and equipment. The instructions are included here because it is a project virtually any bride with access to a sewing machine can handle. It can also be fun. Although garters have traditionally been used as a bride's "something blue", you can easily customize your garter(s) with colors and materials which compliment your wedding color scheme or which just suit your, your groom's or a special loved one's style.
Materials you will need:
1 yard of 2 1/2 to 4 inch lace (scalloped on one or two edges)
*or* 2 yards of 1 1/2 to 2 inch lace (scalloped on one edge), sewn together
*or* 1 yard each of two coordinating lace styles (scalloped on one edge) which measure 2 1/2 to 4 inches when sewn together
1 1/2 yards of 1/2 to 1 inch ribbon
1/2 to 3/4 yard of soft stretching elastic 1/8 to 1/4 inch narrower than ribbon
Thread to match the lace color
Thread to match the ribbon color
Optional materials:
Beads, ribbon roses, silk or dried flowers, feathers, charms, etc., for decoration
Instructions:
If you will use two pieces of lace that are scalloped on one side, overlap the straight edges slightly and sew them together using a long, narrow zig-zag stitch. You will use this seam as the location for your ribbon later. If you are using a single, wide lace, sew your ribbon wherever you like--in the center or nearer one side for double-scalloped lace, nearer the straight edge on lace with one scalloped edge.
Wind your sewing machine bobbin with thread which matches the lace and thread the needle with thread to match the ribbon. Lay the lace right side up and the ribbon on top, also right side up--covering the seam if there is one. Sew the ribbon to the lace with a straight stitch, just inside the woven edge. Stitch down one side, then cut your thread. (Do not stitch across the end!) Then stitch the other side. This creates a casing for the elastic.
Use a small safety pin or other threading tool to pull the elastic through the space between the ribbon and the lace. Be careful not to snag the lace or to pull the end of the elastic all the way in. Pin the ends of the elastic so it extends 1/8 to 1/4 inch beyond the ribbon and lace, then hold the ends together around your leg to check the size and fit. It should be snug enough to stay up yet be comfortable. Adjust the elastic, if necessary. Fold the right sides together, line up the ribbon, and stitch 1/4 to 1/2 inch from the cut edges of the lace. Trim any excess elastic. Overlock (serge) or pink seam allowance if you wish.
Turn right side out and distribute gathers evenly around the garter. Find the center (opposite the seam) and push the fullness slightly to each side. Attach a bow of the remaining ribbon--or decoration(s) of your choice--to this area, stitch by hand or machine through the ribbon and elastic, then rearrange the gathers.