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My world… looking in
by
Melva
In
dim silence I wander within these very walls that were once my home
These...which
I had thought would always be my own.
Intensifying
sadness engulfs me as I walk each quiet stride
Such
a strange feeling as now you’re never at my side
I
gently touch all that is familiar and well known to me
Some
of which I now can not seem to recognize nor see
I
turn the many pages of our memories, reliving our many years
Suddenly
I cannot see through all my streaming tears
So
much hurt and pain enfolds as I reminisce our shattered past
Such
a shame our lives together had not come to last
My
hurting feelings… my saddened thoughts…to you I was scared to give
Hence
past mistakes I made…for me you never would forgive
Upon
my return to you I tried telling you my want to stay
But
all your unbelieving and accusing words drove me so very far away
The
harshness of your voice burns across my tortured mind
Your
hurting echoes come shooting through is all that I can find
A
tangled web of pain you weaved for me…with mazes I can’t escape
Each
enfolding wave of darkness onto me will always drape
Mounting
loneliness drowns me in a deep and deadly shroud
Your
surrounding accusations…are all I hear so sharp and loud
Forgetting
is forgiving…something that was not your goal
Now
knowing you never really wanted me to stay…I gently let go of your soul
Our
family picture once showed with me of raven hair
Now
its unfamiliar portrait holds you beside some temptress fair
No
more images of us and our children are seen upon the wall
I
search and see three others…seeing they’re strangers all
Like
cosmic dust all hope from my fingers begins to fade away
My
life has passed...no wishes that I can trade
There
was a time we shared each other’s affection
I
now look upon a mirror and cannot see my own reflection.
With
soulful eyes I search for the woman that once showed raven hair
I
must be lost behind the mirror for it shows no one is there
Impossible
to repair my heart that is saddened and so hollow
No
footprints I leave behind for my own children whom I love…to follow
Slowly
I turn and fade away beyond these precious walls
Faintly
if you listen…you can hear the haunting of my calls
I
walk alone a silent shadow…a ghost-like child of the night.
Now
gone forever… out of yours and every one’s sight
Looking
back…as I look in…
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