When Lennon left May Pang to return to Yoko Ono he never publicly spoke about his time with May. Its seems that John and Yoko had made a pact never to discuss May Pang nor her true role during the Lost Weekend, as Yoko, likewise, was evasive.
Lennon never announced that he was married to Cynthia during the early days of the Beatles, in effect, now he was denying May Pang. May had served her purpose, she was disposable.
John maintained "The Party Line" version... it would keep the prying press from seeking scandals and focus their attention on John and Yoko 'Starting Over'.
But Lennon did eventually reveal his true feelings about his time living with May.
In a biography about Lennon, journalist Larry Kane quoted Lennon as saying, "You know Larry, I may have been the happiest I've ever been...
"I loved this woman."
In 1983 Yoko Ono won a court battle to reclaim John Lennon's photographs and a diary stolen by Frederic Seaman, Lennon's former aide. Seaman was convicted and sentenced to five years' probation.
According to the New York Post, Nov. 10, 2002 (AbsoluteElsewhere.net), Frederic Seaman claimed that Lennon had kept the diary from at least 1975 until his murder in 1980. Robert Rosen, Lennon's unofficial biographer who witnessed Ono's legal action, said Lennon's desire for May Pang was evident in many of the diary entrees.
Rosen said Lennon's love for May were the sadest aspects of Lennon's diary. "It was so clear he was dying to be with her and he couldn't do it. He wrote about that a lot."
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