Second Chances

Summary:
This is the story of a widowed mother, being cared for by her late husband's twin brother.  Lacy is confused between her memories and the feelings the present Brandt male is stirring, unknowingly, within her.  Is she in love with Shane himself, or just the memory he sparks?

Nick Brandt opened his green eyes to the bright Saturday morning sun shining through their bedroom window, a bluejay sitting on the windowsill, singing its own beautiful melody.  He tightened his arms around the sleeping beauty in his arms, snuggling closer to her back, ‘til his mouth was only inches from her ear.  One hand rested with hers on her very swollen abdomen as he kissed the back of her ear tenderly.
   “Good morning, beautiful,
      How was your night…”
He could feel her stirring, her hand covering his and giving it a squeeze as the baby kicked at her daddy’s hand.
“She’s gonna be a soccer player,” he whispered, kissing Lacy’s neck, holding her close.  “I love you, Lacy Brandt.”
A giggle escaped her lips as her eyes fluttered open.  “I love you more.” She whispered.
At the back of his mind, he knew he heard a bump on the nightstand, but he didn’t want to let Lacy go, so he snuggled closer, kissing down her neck and shoulder, ignoring the sound.  He was lost in the scent of his wife’s jasmine body wash.  She always smelled intoxicating, making his senses spin ‘til he wasn’t sure whether he was up or down.
“Honey...” he heard whispered, but he couldn’t stop, finding her lips as soft as always as he cupped her face with his hand. “Lacy...” he breathed as he deepened the kiss, his fingers getting caught in her hair.
Her hands were on his shoulders, one moving to his cheek.  “Nicky,” she said more firmly, turning her face to the side, giving his lips access to her neck.
“I love you...” he whispered, holding her tight as he kissed down her shoulder.
“Baby...stop.” she breathed, pushing against his shoulders.
He looked at her for a moment, puzzled.
She smiled at him, tracing his lips with her finger, watching his mouth.  “Your phone’s going off,” she whispered.
He smiled back at her, groaning as he rolled on his back, bringing her with him, her head resting against his heart. He rubbed a hand up and down her back, kissing her forehead. “I’m sorry.  I got carried away.”
“It’s all right.  I wouldn’t have stopped you if that buzz hadn’t kept ringing in my ears.” she whispered, snuggling close to his side.
He looked into her hazel eyes, running a hand through her hair.  “You’re so beautiful.”
She laughed.  “I’m glad you love whales.”
“Hush.” he said in mock disgust.  “You’re more beautiful now than the day I first laid eyes on you.”
She popped his side.  “Do you even remember what I looked like the day we met?”
“Sure.”  He wrapped his arms around her tighter, feeling the baby kicking against his side.  “You looked like an exotic mermaid at the youth pool party.  I was sittin’ there chattin’ with your brother, and you rose out of the water like a goddess.  My mind went blank and I’m sure my tongue hit the ground, because next thing I know, Kyle jabs me in the ribs and tells me to get my googly eyes off his sister.”
“My hair was plastered to my shoulders and forehead, and I was burnt on my arms and face.  What about that can be labeled as ‘goddess’?”  She tickled at his ribs.
“All I know is that was the moment I turned to your brother and said, ‘Kyle, I’m gonna marry that girl.’” He kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheek, his lips finally finding hers.  “And I did.  I married the girl of my dreams.”  He winked at her.  “Can you keep a secret?”
“That depends,” she whispered.
“I think I’m in love with her.”
She smiled.  “I think she’s in love with you, too.”
No more words were needed as he wrapped her in his arms, kissing her long and deep.  He might have stayed there with her all day had his phone not started going off again.  “I’m sorry, baby.” he whispered, moving to get out of bed.  She just laid in the spot where he’d lain all night, pulling the covers around her.
Nick picked up his phone, sifting through the six missed calls.  “It’s the base.”  He dialed his voice mail, listening carefully to Admiral Jones’ voice messages.
“What is it, honey?” he heard her ask.
“They need me to come in today.”
“But it’s your day off.  Can’t they get Owens to take care of whatever it is?”
“That’s the thing about the military.  You are always on call.”
She pulled herself up, leaning against his back, wrapping her arms around his hard stomach.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to nag.”
He turned to look at her, feigning disbelief.  “You? Nag? Never.”
“Watch it, buster.  Remember who gives you backrubs.”  She giggled loud, her hand going to her mouth to muffle the noise.  He picked her up from the bed, one arm behind her back, the other under her knees.  Leaning in, she teased his lips with her tongue, kissing him tenderly.  She felt his arms tighten around her small frame, feeling his strong muscles hard against her skin.
He lowered her to the floor, letting her stand on her own two feet, his arms still protectively tight around her.  “We better stop.  Otherwise I might be tempted to keep you in that bed for the rest of the morning.”  His husky voice sent shivers up her spine; his warm breath playing games across her skin.
“What about work?” she smiled, eyeing his lips, wanting so bad to keep him here with her.
He groaned.  “You make my head spin.  I almost completely forgot.”  Leaning in once more, his lips touched hers tenderly.  “I’m going to miss you so bad...”
She chuckled, her hand resting against his rapidly beating heart.  “This whale can keep herself busy ‘til you come home.”
“Very funny.  My wife will sit down and put her feet up, and call me the second she needs anything.” he said, kissing her forehead.  “Or else,”
She turned, trying to get away.  He caught her just above her expanded stomach, pulling her back against him.  “Or else, what?” she breathed, looking over her shoulder at him.
He winked at her, his hand moving down her side, stopping at her hip.  He gestured with his eyes toward their bed.  She giggled, popping him playfully on the hip.  “Don’t tempt me, Nick Brandt.  I’d love nothing more than to keep you all to myself today. But you, love of mine, have to get to work...” she said, giving him one more peck on the lips.  “Now, go get in the shower.”
He chuckled, pulling back.  “Yes ma’am.”  He gave a mock salute and disappeared down the hall.
Rubbing a hand across her stomach, she snickered.  “Your daddy is crazy.”  She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the full-length mirror at the foot of their bed.  She wasn’t anything special.  Her hair was straight, colored naturally a dull chestnut brown; her eyes an ordinary hazel.  And she was short.  At four-foot-ten, she was dwarfed by her husband’s six-foot-two frame.  It was like Thumbelina marrying the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk.  But Nick always made her feel important, always made her feel larger than life.
The little girl within her womb kicked hard at her mother’s abdomen.  “I think your daddy’s right.  You’re gonna be a soccer player.”  Lacy lowered herself onto Nick’s side of the bed, laying back easily, her back starting to ache.  “Just one more week.” she whispered as she drifted off to sleep.

  “Michele...” Shane called from the entrance of the apartment, trying to wrestle his key free of the lock.  “Michele...honey...”
He placed the dozen red roses he’d bought his fiancée on her kitchen table, walking back to the bedroom.  He had to find her.  If only she knew how much he’d missed her these last two weeks.
“Michele...” he called again, checking the laundry room.  She wasn’t there.  Maybe she’s in class...he thought.  “Michele...baby...”
Reaching the door of her bedroom, he hesitated for a moment.  What if she’s getting dressed...she’d probably give me an earful for just barging into her bedroom.  He knocked softly first, hearing no answer.  Slowly, he pushed it open, staring into the dim surroundings of the room.  He could make out the edge of her bed, not able to make out if she was asleep or not.  Reaching for the light switch, he flipped it on.  At that moment, if he had known what he would find, he never would have come. 
Michele, green eyes wide and firey red hair disheveled, shot up from the bed, pulling the sheets up around her naked body, the male next to her, squinting to adjust his eyes to the newly added light.  He recognized her companion.
“Thanks, Logan.”  He said, turning the light out and leaving immediately, not giving Michele any time to say anything at all.  What was there to explain?  He’d caught her in bed, naked, with his best friend.  There was only one explanation.  He left the roses on the table, laying his key next to them, than walked out the door.  For a moment, he half hoped she’d come running after him, but than he thought better of it.  It was apparently over between them.
What about the wedding?  Three hundred guests, thousands of dollars...and just four days away...
“There’s not gonna be a wedding, Shane.”  He told himself as he backed his green Ford F-150 out of the driveway.  “It’s over.”
He just got on the interstate and started driving, not worried about where he was headed, just needing to get as far away from Michele as he could.  He flipped on his CD player, turning the volume up, hoping it would drown out the pain he felt gnawing at his insides.
Lord, why? Why? He kept repeating over and over in his head.  Maybe if he’d not gone to Los Angeles for the last two weeks, this wouldn’t have happened.  He had to bite his lip to keep the tears that pooled in his eyes from falling.  It was like a knife ripping and tearing at his heart, just replaying that scene over and over.  How could she? How could Logan? Why?
    Parking at the rest area just outside of town, Shane hit the steering wheel with the heel of his hand, relaxing against the back of the seat.  Slowly, he closed his eyes and let the tears fall.  He broke.  Silently, he let out all the spent up pain, just staring out the car window, into the dusky blue sky.  Rain was coming.

      Lacy felt a light kiss on her lips; her eyes fluttering open to take in her husband’s green flight suit, breathing in his scent of DIAL soap and BLACK cologne.  His green eyes were on fire as he bent from his spot on the edge of the bed to kiss her again.  She let one hand go to the back of his head, wanting to save this moment ‘til they could be together again.
Pulling away gently, he whispered, “You’re making it awful hard for me.  How can I possibly choose between wife and country?”  Smiling, he kissed her lightly once more.  “I should be home tonight.  I’ll call if there’s a change.”  Hesitantly, he moved to the bedroom door.  “I love you, Lacy.”
She gave a salute, blowing him a kiss.  “I love you more.”
He “caught” her kiss in his hand and pretended to put it in his chest pocket.  With one last wink, he said, “Goodbye, pretty lady.”
Lacy smiled as she turned her head on the pillow to stare out the window.  The sky had gotten awful murky pretty quick.  Rain wasn’t uncommon, but for some reason today it was just odd.  O well...  Mentally, she just shrugged it off.  This was the South.  Rain was a continuous enigma.
Stretching, she moved to get out of bed.  Even in her ninth month, she still wasn’t waddling like a pregnant woman.  Or at least Nick said she didn’t.  She smiled.  He’s biased.
She made her way to the kitchen, needing something to pacify her growling stomach.  I wonder if Nick had any breakfast.  Now, guilt tugged at her, realizing she should’ve gotten up and fixed him something.  I don’t know what’s gotten in to me. 

Shane pulled from his unconscious state against the back of his seat, hearing his phone ringing beneath the pile of papers next to him.  Screening the call, he looked at the ID window.  Michele. Michele. Michele.  He groaned as he let the phone fall to the padded seat next to him.
“Lord, why can’t I just erase all of the past two hours?” he asked, letting out a sigh.  “Why can’t we go back to the way things were when we took that trip to the Bahamas? We were so happy, so in love.  Where did things go bad?”
The phone kept ringing, that tingling bell noise playing on his already frayed nerves.  He was relieved when it finally stopped.  He could think atleast halfway straight.
Maybe it was the night you stayed in her room…
“Woah!” he almost yelled, jumping.  “Where did that come from?”
The phone started going off again, setting his heart to skipping a mile a second.  He picked up the phone; ready to throw it if the ID bore an unwanted caller.
Nick & Lacy home…
Shane didn’t remember hitting the answer button.  Everything passed in a matter of seconds as he placed the phone to his ear, hearing his sister-in-law’s panicky voice.  “Lacy, Lacy!  Calm down, hun.  What’s the matter?”
“Shane…” she said, her voice breaking.  “It’s Nicky.”
He could hear the tears in her voice.  Something terrible had happened to his brother.  “Hold on, Lace.  I’ll be right there!”  He was back on the interstate before he could count to ten.  It felt like a hundred pound brick was on top of his foot that was levered on the gas.  He weaved in and out of traffic, his knuckles turning white from his tight grip on the steering wheel.  As he left the busy national road, he drove ninety-to-nothing towards Nick and Lacy’s back road home.
Please, God, let me make it in time…

  Lacy cleaned the upstairs bedrooms, knowing Nick would be unhappy with her when he got home.  She smiled.  He was just worried about her.
She’d just started on the master bedroom when the phone rang.  The moment of truth is at hand…she thought.
“Hello.”  Taking a deep breath, she let out a sigh.  “Brandt residence.”
“Mrs. Brandt,” was all that was said.  The tone used struck a chord in Lacy’s soul.  It was icy and stiff.
“Yes?”  No other words would come.  A ball had lodged itself in her throat and she steeled herself for the apparent bad news.  Maybe Kyle’s been injured in Kuwait…what if he’s dead?
“Mrs. Brandt, I’m Corporal Daren Sanders.”  His voice seemed to grow slower as if putting off whatever he had to say.  “I’m afraid I’ve got some distressing news.”
Her heart froze.  She couldn’t inquire anymore.  All she could do was listen.
“Your husband, Nickolai Brandt, was killed this afternoon during maneuver drills.”
Icy fingers gripped Lacy’s heart as the phone fell from her ear.  She didn’t hear it smash to the master bath floor, the battery flying across the room.  All she could hear were those words, “Your husband was killed…”  She didn’t know whether to scream or cry.  She just reached for something to lean on, lowered herself to the floor.
It can’t be true.  There has to have been a mistake…
“Your husband, Nickolai Brandt, was killed…” it replayed again.  Her hands flew to her ears, as if that would stop the truth from coming.
She pulled herself upright, moving to the bedroom on very weak legs.  Her eyes searched the room.  It looked the same as it had when she’d awoken in his arms this morning.  The bed was still a mess, from the rough-housing earlier.  She looked to the pictures on the dresser just feet away.  Their wedding picture.  Kyle and Nick arm-in-arm at their graduation from the academy.  Nick and his family; his twin brother, Shane, and his parents, posing for a group picture.  Shane.
She reached for the extra portable phone next to their bed, punching in Shane’s cell number with stiff, icy fingers, her heart beating a hundred miles a minute.  It rang twice.  She was growing impatient.
“Nick,” came Shane’s familiar voice.
“Shane…Shane…” she felt like she was hyperventilating.  She couldn’t control her rapid breathing.
“Lacy! Lacy, calm down, hun.  What’s the matter?”
“Shane…” she said, her voice breaking.  “It’s Nicky.”
The tears were now running down her face, making it even harder to get it out.  She struggled to keep her voice understandable.
“Hold on, Lace.  I’ll be right there!”  Dead.
She slammed the phone back into its cradle, almost collapsing on the bed.  She fought to catch her breath, constantly wiping at the tears that fell, soaking her nightgown and her hair that was now plastered to her face.  Dear God, why? Why does this have to be happening? Please let me be dreaming…

But she knew the truth.  This was reality.  Nick was dead.  She was alone.  She was 9 months pregnant.  The tears came harder.  Why?

She buried her head in Nick’s pillow, still smelling of his masculine body and his head-spinning cologne.  It reminded her of just a few hours before, the feel of his hard body against hers, his tender lips, his laughing eyes.  She heard screaming.  Where was it coming from?  It was so loud that she had to cover her ears.  Than reality hit.  She was screaming.  Her mouth was wide open and she was letting out an ear-piercing scream.
“Lacy!” Came a voice from across the room.  She didn’t bother to look up.  She didn’t care.  She wanted her husband back.  She wanted to be able to tell him all of the things she should have before he died.  She’d forgotten to fix breakfast before he left.  He probably hadn’t even eaten anything.  What does that matter now? He knew you loved him.
Shane placed his arms around her, her body turning into his as she wept on his shoulder, her arms around his neck, his arms tight around her, being careful of his grip so as not to harm the baby.
He looked around.  No sign of his brother.  Shane shut off his thinking as he held Lacy.  “What happened Lacy? Where’s Nick?”
She looked up into his eyes.  The tears falling silently down her cheeks, onto his shirt.  “He’s dead, Shane.”  As if on cue, she started wailing again.  Shane couldn’t help but cry with her.  He buried his face into her neck, holding her close to him, his heart breaking, Michele at the very back of his mind.  His brother, his twin, was dead.

Lacy sat at the kitchen table as Shane handed her a cup of steaming hot chocolate, taking the seat across from her.  She just sat the cup in front of her, staring into the depths of the dark liquid.  The real shock hadn’t hit her yet.  It hadn’t quite registered yet that she was alone, save for the baby that would soon be brought into this world, without her father.
She felt Shane’s hand cover her own, her eyes flying to meet his.  He looked exactly like Nicky in every possible way, except one.  Nick’s hair was a dark brown.  Shane’s was chestnut, like her own.  She could only pray this baby would have her father’s good looks and dark hair, instead of her plain features and dull locks.
“Lacy,” Shane coaxed, lowering his head to look straight into her eyes.
She bit her lip, the thought of Nick bringing tears to her eyes.
“Is there anyone who can stay here with you?”
She shook her head.  “If Michele would consider putting up with a whale for a week, than I guess I do.”
Shane felt his blood boiling, his hand leaving hers.  He stood, the sudden anger visible in his eyes obviously scaring Lacy.  He clenched his fist and bit his tongue to keep from saying something he shouldn’t.  Turning his back to her, he laid into the cabinet with his fist one good time.  He heard her scream.  Looking back at her, she was clinging to the chair.  You’re scaring her out of her wits, Shane.  Learn to curb that anger.  She knows nothing of Michele…or Logan.  So don’t take it out on her.
“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly, leaning on the counter with his hands palm-side down.
She couldn’t speak.  She’d never seen Nick get mad at her.  She’d never seen that killer look in his eyes.  The fact that Shane and Nick were different in that way scared her.
“Tell me what I did wrong.” She said softly, apparently keeping her voice down to avoid the possibility of him getting madder.
He looked into those innocent eyes, so much like a child’s.  His anger abated, he lowered himself calmly back into the chair, taking her hand into his own once more.  He tried to keep his voice even as he said, “You did nothing wrong.  Michele is just a sore spot.”
She opened her mouth as if to ask why, but she thought better of it.  Looking him in the eye, she searched, as if for sincerity that his rage wasn’t her fault.
“I’ll stay with you, Lacy.” He said almost silently.  She wasn’t sure if she’d even heard it right.
“What?”
He looked her in the eye.  “I’ll stay here with you.”
She stood as if to protest, but he stood along with her, holding out his hand to stop even the slightest word.  “That’s final.”
She was quiet for a moment, rethinking her strategy, or so it appeared.  “You can’t stay!” she finally said.
“And why not?” he retorted, giving her a challenging look.  “You can’t be left here by yourself, especially with the baby due so soon.”
Without even thinking, she blurted, “My friend can stay with me.”
He looked shocked.  “What friend?”
“By the sound of it, you act as if I have none.”
He could feel the heat rising up his neck.  “No, no.  That’s not what I meant.  It just surprised me since I never heard Nick mention anyone imparticular that you were fond of.”
She averted her eyes.  “He must have just not seen a reason to mention it.”
Shane searched her face.  She could be lying.  She could also be telling the truth.  He defended.
“Alrite.  But I’ll still be by to check on you.”  He said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.  “Does this friend have a name?”
She tried to hide the surprise she felt over the question.  She was just digging herself deeper.  She had to think of something if she wanted him to leave this alone.  “Liza.”
“Liza, huh?” he asked, sounding unconvinced.  “And where do you know Liza from?”
Just drop it, Shane, she mentally pleaded.
“Why does it matter?” she asked, going to the cabinet for a glass.
“I want to make sure my brother’s wife and child are cared for.”
She grew stiff, her hands against the counter, her head down.  “Can you bring Nick back?”
He was quiet for a moment.  “No.”
She was satisfied that she’d proved her point, so she turned the faucet on and filled her cup with water.
Turning, she said, “Shane, I’m a big girl.  I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Too late for that, little lady,” He sounded so much like Nick.  “The day you became a Brandt, you earned a babysitter and whether you asked for it or not, you’re not getting rid of me.  So get used to it Lacy-girl, cause I’m in for the long haul.”
She smiled for the first time since the news.  “Well than, I guess I’ll have to live with it.”
“I guess you will.” 

Shane tossed and turned all night long, Michele constantly running through his mind.  He’d had twelve missed calls from her cell on his home phone, and six on his cell phone.  She was determined to rub this in his face; determined to rub Logan in his face.  Shane knew that next time he saw Logan he’d have to fight hard to keep from killing him.  Friends didn’t do that to each other.
He pulled himself out of bed, kicking the covers back.  The room was pitch black.  He reached for the chair by the bed, pulling a t-shirt over his head.  The stench of it made him crinkle his nose, reminding him that he had laundry to do in the morning.
Walking cautiously across the bedroom to the bathroom, so as not to stub his toe or knock anything over, he flipped on the light switch just inside the door.  The sudden light blinded him for a few moments, ‘til his eyes were able to adjust.  He bent over the sink, turning on the faucet, letting the cold water run down the drain.  Cupping his hands under the flow, he splashed his lowered face.  The towel hanging next to him was pulled free of its rack to wipe the water from his face, using one hand to shut the faucet off.  He held it there in place over his face, his eyes closed.  He let his mind wander back two weeks, to the Bahamas’ incident.
    Michele had been so radiant, the setting sun just above her head as they walked up the beach to the hotel, casting an angelic glow across her slender figure, her red hair ablaze.  He guessed that’s when their relationship started to go down hill; when he decided to go into her room that night.  After that, there had been no spark, no mystery anymore.  He groaned, pulling the towel away, looking up at the ceiling.
“It’s not my fault.” He whispered to himself, his eyes going to the mirror.  How could it be? We simply shared a passionate night.  How could that have been why she’d done it? For all I know, it still would’ve happened whether we’d been together that night or not.  That made him feel a little better.
He caught sight of the small picture of Nick and Lacy on their honeymoon that Nick had given him, stuck by Scotch tape to the side of the mirror.  He saw how happy they were.  He’d always wanted to be like his brother.  He’d always dreamed of having the perfect girl like Lacy, but the truth was that Lacy Brandt was in a class all her own.  She was a limited edition.  He sighed.

With the baby kicking, Lacy couldn’t sleep.  She could only sleep on her back when her daughter was this active at night, leaving her very uncomfortable.  She’d had Nick on her mind all evening.  She remembered how it had only been less than twenty-four hours since he’d lain beside her in this bed, wrapped his arms around her, come so very close to making love to her and being late for work.  She smiled softly, reaching her hand out to grab his pillow, holding it close to her chest, breathing in his scent.  O, Lord, I miss him.  Why did it have to be Nick? We’ve got a baby on the way.  How am I gonna handle this alone? She let out a bewildered sigh.  O, Nick! I wish you could come back to me!
She hoped deep down that maybe it’d all been a serious mistake and that he’d be home with the dawn.  But he hadn’t called to let her know there’d been a change of plans.  So maybe he really is gone, Lacy.  No amount of prayer or hope is gonna bring him back.  Death is forever.  Just be glad you know where he is.  Very true.  He’d had a relationship with Christ since he was a little boy.  He and Shane had gone down the aisle together.  But when the teenage years had come around, Shane had veered off.  He was paying for it now, according to Nick, who’d let her in on the trip Michele and Shane had taken to the Bahamas.  She had to admit that she’d lost some of her respect for him after that, but he was all she had left.  I’ve got Liza, too, she thought, frowning.  How am I gonna get myself outta this mess?
She thought about Nick.  She remembered his sweet smile and his tender kisses.  The tears started to come then, clouding her vision.  She missed him so much that it was physical.  The bed felt empty without him next to her.  It was too quiet without his faint breathing close to her ear or his strong arms around her.  So many reminders in this house, so many memories of him.  She looked down.  This baby.
She looked up at the ceiling, her thoughts wandering to Shane.  He was Nick’s exact replica, almost.  He differed in hair color, temper, and attitude.  But otherwise they were one in the same; the voice, the flaming eyes, the tender hands, common caring disposition instilled in them from childhood.  He was her husband.  If only…she wished.
Apparently, the days ahead were going to get harder to bare, especially with the baby due so soon, and she had a funeral to arrange, and a Liza to find.

The morning air was icy and the wind blew in raging torrents across the funeral procession as they stood, solemnly watching the casket being lowered into the ground.  Not a dry eye was to be seen in the crowd of uniforms, suits, and black dresses.  Lacy stood just above his grave, holding the folded American flag against her heart, her tears soaking the blurred red, white, and blue material.  Her husband had fought for this flag, her brother was still overseas, fighting for this flag.  How long would it be before she got word that Kyle was dead, too?  He still wasn’t aware of Nick’s death.
Shane stood next to his sister-in-law, his arm around her shoulders, trying in some way to comfort her.  He had no idea what was going to happen now.  The mysterious fact that Liza had other important engagements that prevented her from being at her best friend’s side during this tragic time was suspicious.  He had to keep telling himself that Lacy would never lie to him, but each time it came back to the possibility that she was hiding something.
“Take me home.”  She whispered as she stepped back from the crypt, sinking into his arms.  He tried to ignore the sensation he’d felt when her hand had touched his arm, but he was only human.  Looking down into Lacy’s eyes, he said, “Are you sure?”
She shook her head, just wanting to be somewhere besides here.  Seeing that little box that held her husband’s torn body was revolting, turning her stomach.  “Positive.”
The car was quiet, no one speaking, no sound being made.  Lacy just sat there in the passenger’s seat, delicately rubbing her hand over her swollen stomach.  Her back was starting to hurt again.  It’d been bothering her all night.  Shane tried to stay focused on the road.  His mind kept wandering to the woman next to him.  Nick was a lucky man.  Stop it, Shane!
He shook the thought from his head, wishing he could slap himself for even contemplating any fantasy at all with his brother’s wife; his brother’s pregnant wife.  He felt ashamed.  You just need Michele back.
“NO!”  He yelled aloud, scaring Lacy out of her mind.  She sucked in her breath so hard and her heart stopped beating for a moment.  The baby started kicking and she felt a warm sensation running down the inside of her thigh.  She looked to Shane with those wide, frightened eyes, and said, “Shane, I think my water broke.”
He slammed the brakes, the car coming to an immediate halt with those words, brakes from the cars behind him screeching to avoid a collision.  He looked at her in surprise.  “What?”
    She couldn’t repeat it, her breathing picking up as a contraction tore through her abdomen.  She squeezed the armrest hard, her knuckles turning ghostly white.  She didn’t have to say anything.  He knew.  He slammed his foot down on the gas, almost hitting a car trying to speed around his formally stalled vehicle.  There was a straight shot from where they were to Conway Memorial.  Shane didn’t think.  He didn’t have time to.  Everything was done in reflex; from shifting to steering.
In an attempt to grab at the armrest as another contraction hit, Lacy gripped his leg by mistake.  He almost jumped from his seat.
“Lacy…” he said, trying to stay focused on the road.
“I’m sorry, Shane!” she said through gritted teeth.  When the pains subsided for a moment, she breathed deep.  O Nick.
“Hold on just a little bit longer, Lace.”  He said, downshifting as he pulled off the interstate onto Kansas Avenue, only blocks from the hospital parking lot.
“Just hurry…” she pleaded as tears ran down her face, another pain slicing at her stomach.  She could feel the baby kicking hard.  Lord, please let us make it in time.  She’s all I’ve got left of Nick.
Shane swerved into Conway’s parking lot, barely missing an oncoming car.  He pulled the car under the emergency overhang, put it in park, and jumped out, not even waiting to shut the engine off.  He opened Lacy’s door, helping her out of the crowded vehicle.  She squeezed his hand, her face contorted in pain.  He thought she was going to cut the circulation off to his fingers.  They hurried through the automatic doors.
“We need a wheelchair!” Shane shouted as they entered the emergency lobby.  All heads turned.  An intern hurried over with a wheelchair.  Lacy felt as if she’d faint, trying to be careful as she sat down.  The contractions were almost five minutes apart.  A nurse rushed over and took her blood pressure, than ordered for her be taken to a room.  She turned to Shane.  “You’ll need to fill out the admittance paperwork.  Does your wife have a regular obstetrician?”
Shane just looked at her.  “She’s not my wife.”  He sighed, raking his fingers nervously through his hair.  “I think her obstetrician is Dr. Chung Tran.  He’s the base-assigned doctor from Fort Springs Air Force Base.”
The nurse smiled at him, a look of pity in her eyes.  “Just fill these forms out the best you can, and we’ll try to contact Dr. Tran.  You can have a seat over there.”  She handed him a clipboard with a bunch of papers and pointed to a chair across the room.
“Can’t I stay with my sister-in-law?  She just lost her husband and I don’t think it’s good that she be alone.”
She looked at him for a moment.  “Let me check and make sure its alrite, but under the circumstances, I think the doctor will make an exception.”  With those words, she was gone.
    Shane bent over the numerous forms, all the English looking like Greek to his muddled brain.  He couldn’t comprehend any of it.  Get a hold of yourself, Shane! Lacy needs someone she can depend on to be calm.  With that mind-set, he let out a breath and put pen to paper.  In about fifteen minutes he had given all the information he could.  Walking back to the front desk, he handed it to the nurse.
“Dr. Tran is on his way.  Mrs. Brandt is about to be taken to delivery.”  She said, taking the clipboard from him.  “You can follow me.”
Shane fell in step behind her, his mind spinning with guilt and amazement at the thought of what was about to take place; guilt because this was supposed to be Nick’s first child, and awe because of the miracle of life.  When he was led into Lacy’s room, she was being put through breathing exercises to help with the labor pains.  She motioned for him to come closer.
“What if I can’t go through with this, Shane?” she said between ragged breaths.
He moved her hair out of her face, his hand resting on her cheek, using his thumb to wipe the damp tears from her eyes.  “Lace, listen to me,” he said, locking his eyes with hers. “You’re going to give birth to this baby, and you’re going to be fine.  I’ll be with you through the whole thing.  They’ve even contacted Dr. Tran to deliver the baby.  Everything is going to be fine, okay?”
Her eyes still held disbelief, a little doubt of his words.  But she shook her head, leaning her cheek heavily against his palm that cupped the side of her face.  She closed her eyes as another contraction came, clenching her teeth tightly together.  He rubbed his hand down her cheek, across the back of her neck, pressing his fingers into the back of her spine as the nurse was instructing him to do.  “Massaging her spine will help during labor to relieve major pain.”
His heart broke with every contortion of her face and every scream that left her lips.  He wouldn’t have wished this job on anybody.
“Mrs. Brandt, Dr. Tran is here.  We’re going to wheel you to delivery.”
Lacy looked up at Shane and grabbed his hand, catching his eyes.  “You’ll stay with me the whole time?”
He bent down and kissed her forehead.  “I’m not going anywhere, Lacy-girl.  I’ll be right here holding your hand.”
“Thank You, God.” She whispered.

Shane looked down at the tiny little girl in his arms, her dark head covered with a pink beanie, wrapped in a Precious Moments blanket that Lacy had made.  Her tiny fingers were wrapped around his pointer finger.  She had a strong grip.  Her beautiful emerald green eyes were fixed on his mouth, her tongue sticking out as he spoke to her in baby jumble.
Lacy lay half dead to the world not five feet away.  The eleven hours it took to deliver Nicole had drained her completely.  She couldn’t even move.  Shane had done as he promised.  He’d stayed with her all through it.  And when Nikki had given her first wail of life, and she was laid on her mother’s chest, he’d kissed Lacy’s cheek and said, “You have no idea how wonderful you are.”  She didn’t want to read into it.  After all, he was Nikki’s uncle, and he was going to be a big part of her life.  He was also her late husband’s brother, his twin brother.  There couldn’t be anything between them.
“She’s beautiful, Lace.”  Shane said, kissing Nikki’s forehead.  He met her eyes, smiling so bright.  O Nick. If only this could be our moment. Our daughter is so beautiful; your spittin’ image.
Shane’s phone started to ring, scaring them both to death.  Nikki started crying.  Lacy reached for it on the bedside table, without even looking at the ID.  “Hello?” she rasped.
“Lacy?” came Michele’s high-pitched voice from the other end.
“Michele?”
Shane’s eyes shot to Lacy, getting about as big as watermelons.  She looked over at him.
“Shane stepped out for some fresh air.  Do you want me to tell him to call you?”  she asked.
“Look Lacy, I know he doesn’t want to talk to me.”  Michele said.  “Just tell him that its urgent that we talk.”
“Okay.  Will do.” She replied.  “Bye.”  She sat the phone down on the bed next to her.  She looked at Shane.  “She said it’s urgent that ya’ll talk.  Will you tell me what’s going on?”
“I’ll call her back later.”  That was all he said as he settled back into the chair with Nikki in his arms.
“Shane?”
“Lacy, I don’t want to talk about it.”
She couldn’t say anything to that.  If he wanted to have secrets, it was none of her business.  Her only concern now was for Nikki and her future.

Lacy couldn’t sleep at all.  She just stared around the small room.  Her eyes fell on Shane for a moment; sound asleep in a reclining chair just a few feet away. They’d sent Nikki back to the nursery at Shane’s insistence, so Lacy could sleep.  Now all was quiet.  Only the sound of Shane’s deep breathing could be heard.  She closed her eyes, going back to another time and another bed.  She could almost feel Nick’s breath on her neck.  Everything was so real.  A soft beep sounded in the back of her mind.  Nick’s arms tightened around her and she smiled.
“You’re what?” she heard fill the room.  Her eyes shot open.  Nick was gone, but Shane was standing across the room, staring out the window at a starless sky.  He raked his fingers through his hair, his phone pressed hard to his ear.  “Michele, there’s no way!”
Turning around, he locked eyes with Lacy.  He’d apparently forgotten she was even there in the heat of discussion.  “I’ll come by the apartment tomorrow.  We’ll discuss it then.” He sat down, as if defeated, his head in his hands.  “I’m sorry, Lace.  I lost my head.  I’m glad the baby wasn’t here.”
She just stared at him.  “What did Michele have to say?”
He closed off the door again.  He wasn’t going to talk.  She’d probably never know.  “Why won’t you talk to me?”
He looked at her, a pointed look in his eyes.  “Why can’t you tell me the truth?”
She knew what he meant.  Liza.
“What was I supposed to tell you? That I didn’t want my brother-in-law living in my house, because I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t handle things on my own?”
Those dark eyes mesmerized him as he moved closer to her, at her bedside.  “I’m not just some guy you met off the street, Lacy.  I’m family, your husband’s brother.  I have no doubt you could handle perfectly well on your own, but I’m here to help you; whether you like it or not.”
She looked into those eyes, looking for the slightest trace of sincerity.  “You’re a great liar, Shane Brandt.”  She smiled weakly.  “But do remember, that I figured out the Brandt twins a long time ago.”  Tears stained her face at the thought of Nick, falling down her delicate cheeks one by one.
Shane cupped her cheek with his hand, wiping her tears away with his thumbs.  “I can’t really talk about Michele and me right now, because to tell you the truth, I’m confused, too.”
“What happened between the two of you that has those eyes flashing every time her name’s mentioned?”
He grimaced, averting his eyes to somewhere on the far wall.  “Let’s just say I was stabbed in the back.”
“I’m sorry, Shane.”  She set her hand against his neck, running her fingers across his stubbly jaw.  “I wish there was something I could do.”
“Get some sleep.” He whispered, laying a kiss to her forehead.  “Dr. Tran says you may go home tomorrow.”
She smiled, drained, laying back against the pillow.
“I’ll be right here if you need me.” He said, pulling the covers around her.  “Sweet dreams.”

The morning had been cool when he’d dropped Lacy off at home an hour ago.  Now the sun had risen and the temperature was rising fast.  Shane used the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead as he climbed the stairs to Michele’s apartment.  It felt like he was walking the green mile, like he was being taken to his own execution.  This meeting was most definitely going to change his life if what she’d said on the phone last night was true.
Balling his fist to knock on the door, he pounded twice.  In mid-swing the third time, the door flew open.  He felt like letting his jaw drop.  Logan stood there, in a starched white button-up and a new pair of Lee jeans, a pair of sandals on his feet.  His blonde hair was combed back and spiked, his jaw clean-shaven.  “Michele,” Logan called over his shoulder.  Looking back to Shane, he said, “I’m just leaving.”
Shane stood his ground as his former friend inched past him and down the stairs to his truck.  It took a lot of will to keep his animal instinct in check; to keep from tearing Logan limb from limb.  He didn’t even watch him leave.  He just faced the inside of the apartment, watching Michele coming from the hall.  Her red hair was pulled back in a ponytail, her tropical tanned skin glowing.  She wore a light pink halter that showed off her belly button ring, and a tiny blue jean skirt that barely covered the top of her thighs.  He couldn’t take his eyes from her.  He felt like he’d been transported back to that night on the beach; as the sun was setting, her arms wound around his neck, her fingers caught in his hair, her wet skin touching his, those intoxicating kisses.
“Shane,” she said, waving her hand in front of his face, pulling him back into the present.  “Come on in.”
She didn’t have to say it twice.  He didn’t remember stepping over the threshold or even sitting down on the couch, but before he knew it, that’s where he was.
“You want something to drink?” she asked.
“Come on, Michele.  What’s going on?” He watched her every movement.  From her facial expression to his question, her slow way of taking a seat next to him, crossing her legs, looking him straight in the eye; deliberate, fluid movements that he knew so well.  “I told you last night when you finally picked up the phone.”  She said.  “I’m pregnant.”
He clenched his fist until he was sure his veins were popping out.  “What makes you think its mine?  How am I supposed to know how long you and Logan have been fooling around behind my back?”
“That’s not fair, Shane!” she said, her eyes turning to daggers.
“And what makes it not fair, Michele?”  He stared her down.  “I’ll tell you what’s not fair; me, having to walk in and find my fiancée in bed with my best friend.  That’s what’s not fair!”
She shook her head, in disbelief he guessed.  “Shane, you gotta believe me!  Me and Logan only happened that one time.”
“How am I supposed to believe that?”
“Because you love me!”
“I thought I did.”
“That’s ridiculous! Why else would you propose to me?”
“Blind faith.”
“Shane!”
Now they were both standing, face to face.  Shane’s face and neck were fire red and Michele had tears in her eyes, rage apparent in both demeanors.
“I’m two months along.  Guess where I was two months ago?” she said, pointing to the calendar only a few feet away.
Shane knew where she’d been two months ago; waking up to him, the sun flooding her hotel room from the balcony, lighting up her glorious eyes.  “That still doesn’t make it mine.  Like I said, I can’t be sure how long you and Logan have been fooling around.”
“You should know better than anyone that I was a virgin!” she yelled, disbelieving he could be this cold.
“I know nothing of the sort.”
Silence fell; nothing but tension between the two.
“I’ll order a paternity test!” she finally said, as if she was threatening him.
He held his calm.  “Go ahead!”  He headed for the door.
“Why can’t you just believe me?”
He turned back to her, his eyes full of flames.  “Why couldn’t you have atleast had the decency to have Logan gone by the time I got here?  I think you rather like rubbing him in my face.”
She didn’t say anything.  She couldn’t.  He averted his eyes to the door, wide open for his departure, than met hers pointedly.  “Is he living here now?”
She pulled her eyes away, hugging herself.  “Yes.”
It was so softly said that he was almost convinced he’d imagined her answer.  Glancing around he eyed a t-shirt that he’d bought Logan in college, now worn and faded from age, slung across the back of one of the dining table chairs.  “I’ll be in touch,” was all he said as he stepped out the door.
“Shane.” She called as he descended the stairs.  He didn’t look back, afraid to let her see the tears running down his face.

“Where do you suppose your gonna sleep in this tiny house?” Lacy asked of her sleeping baby girl.  She smiled at the soft features of Nikki’s serene face, rocking slow, admiring the perfect child in her arms.  She was her father’s daughter; from her head to her little toes.  Lacy could scarcely believe that Nikki was here, but Nick wasn’t.  She didn’t think she’d ever get over her husband’s death, but of course, it’d only been a few days, and they’d been in love for almost a decade.  It could be years before she could even sleep alone without waking up, crying.
She heard the faint sound of a car door shut and footsteps across the veranda.  The front door quietly creaked open and shut.  Shane’s head appeared around the corner, watching her with tear-reddened eyes.  “Michele’s pregnant.”  Lacy stopped rocking at those words.  She laid Nikki in her basinet, letting the soft melodies of the lullaby CD take her daughter to worlds unknown.  She closed her eyes and lifted up a prayer that this was all a big mistake.  First Nick, now…this.
Shane stood in the doorway, his tall frame so much like Nick’s.  For a moment, she forgot to whom she was talking to.  His face was so red from crying.
“It’s yours?” she asked.
“I don’t know.”
“You could take a paternity test.”  Lacy suggested, her eyes not meeting his.
“I plan to.”
“How do we know she’s telling the truth?”
“I know her.  Besides, Logan’s moved in.  That wouldn’t have happened had she just wanted reconciliation.”
“Logan?” she asked hurriedly.  “Your best friend, Logan? Captain of the college football team, Logan?”
The look Shane gave her was more than enough answer.
“Okay, so what if she is pregnant? What are you gonna do?”
He averted his gaze to little Nikki.  “I don’t know.”
Lacy silently shook her head, not saying another word.  She didn’t know what else to say, what other questions to ask.
“Nicky was lucky to have found you, Lacy-girl…” Shane rasped out, turning away to hide the tears that ran rampant down his face at that moment.  Before she could question them, he’d strode down the hall to the bathroom and shut the door.  For a moment, she couldn’t move.  She didn’t know what to do; besides pray.  So that’s what she did.  She got down beside her rocking chair, proceeding to hand Shane to God, her eyes tightly shut, oblivious to the man watching her from the bathroom door.

Lacy turned on her side in her sleep, consciousness not visible as her dream overtook her senses.
The vines on the trees above felt so real as she made her way through the thick, gauzy brush.  Steam rose from the marshy water, her clothes sticking to her because of the suffocating humidity.  Her feet were caked in mud, her arms and legs scratched and bloody.  She could hear the sounds of exotic birds overhead, the call of a mother crocodile for her young, the frenzy of monkeys at play, a distant bull frog sending out its mating call.  Her ears rang, like she’d been locked in the massive bell towers of Notre Dame. She swatted at the mosquitoes that made pests of themselves, buzzing around her head, and her wet brown hair in tangled tendrils, matted to her neck.  She couldn’t see too far in front of her due to the haze, having to feel her way through.
A hiss sounded close behind her; she jumped.  Turning quickly on her heel, she was facing a huge python, hanging form a tree she’d just recently passed beneath.  It’s mouth was closed, that sly needle-like tongue protruding out.  Lacy gasped, trying to back up, hitting something hard with her back.  A tree.  The monster’s snout was only inches from her face, moving closer and closer.  She closed her eyes tight, willing it to be over quick.
A cool breeze hit her in the face, her features relaxing as she inched her eyes open.  All she could see was the soft, green pools of Nick’s eyes.  Her heart stopped.  The tears threatened to overflow.  His smile was so warm and bright, his hands so strong and familiar as he touched her waist, pulling her into his arms.
This was too good to be true.  Could Nick really be here?
He didn’t say a word.  He just held her close to his chest, letting her feel the beat of his heart.
“I love you, Lacy-girl.”  He whispered close to her ear.  “I love you…”
Lacy’s eyes opened slowly, her hand reaching, through the darkness, to the other side of the bed.  Her body remembered before her brain did, that Nick wasn’t there.  A tear streaked its way down her cheek.  That was only the beginning of the waterfall that lasted for the next half-hour.
Finally, her pillow soaking wet, Lacy pulled herself out of bed, finding Nick’s oversized blue robe in the darkness.  She brought it to her nose as she slipped her arms into it, breathing in his scent, her heart almost breaking.  He was really gone.
She made her way past the quiet nursery, relieved that three-week-old Nikki was still asleep.  She had no idea what time it was, but, frankly, she didn’t care.
In the kitchen downstairs, she started the coffee pot.  She couldn’t go back to sleep.  She was scared to.
“What’s the matter, Lacy-girl?” she heard against her ear.
For a moment, the familiarity of the term numbed the realization that she truly wasn’t alone.  She felt two strong arms around her, hugging her close from behind.  She stiffened.  Pushing away and turning, she faced those familiar green eyes; that same familiar look of concern.  But no matter how much she wanted him to be Nick, Shane wasn’t his brother.
“Are you okay?” he inquired again.