Summary:
Sweet memories...just read...i think i've put more into this story than any of my others in a long time...RENA
Last Updated on Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
Faith opened her eyes. Everyone was leaving. She raised her head from the cold, hard desk, wiping the damp sweat from the side of her face. Slowly, she staggered up, pulling her purse and backpack with her. The first step she took sent her falling against another desk, her ankle bending underneath her weight. With quick hands, she pushed herself back. With an already sprained ankle and torn tendons in the other, another injury to it wouldn�t effect her. She was simply tired. She�d spent another long night searching the internet casualty lists from Iraq. Again, at about 2 a.m., when she�d completed her vigil, she was filled with releif that Jason wasn�t among the unfortunate dead.
Walking into the congested hallway, she took a left to go down the back stairs to the first floor. Duty called. ROTC. Shelly hadn�t been in second hour, leaving her alone with her own thoughts on her trek down the steep steps. Jason had left for Navy boot camp in June. Someone had heard he�d been shipped overseas, others said he�d been assigned to some Yankee base up north. Despite the stories, she continued to check the casualties to be sure.
Entering the lower level hallway, she shifted her books on her shoulder, careful to step around the art posters lying on the floor of the art hall. Again, her mind drifted to Jason. She�d promised to stay single until he returned and had kept true to her word. Nonetheless, three months had passed and still no word had come from him. The possibility that he didn�t care constantly plagued her. She thought of the silver eagle she�d bought him to wear beneath his uniform. Did he wear it? Did he think of her everytime he put it on?
�Faith!� came her name as soon as she rounded the corner to the ROTC hall. �I need you to finish filing these physical forms.� Commander was standing at the office door, a hand-full of papers at his side. She smiled to cover the sorrow that�d been plastered on her face just moments before.
�Yes�r. I�ll get right on it.� She never turned down any work her instructor�s handed her. Commander called it good work ethic. He patted her on the back as she entered the momentarily quiet office, before walking into the crowded hall. Sighing, she sat her books on the desk. Her shoulders ached from carrying those books all over, and she didn�t feel like doing anything today. However, the work came with the rank.
�Hey baby-girl,� Kris said, dragging in just as the bell sounded, �You okay?�
�Yeah, I�m fine.�
�You�re lying to me.� Kris said matter-of-factly. She gave her friend a look that said she was going to find out.
Faith volunteered nothing as she pulled the Admin drawer open, looking hopelessly at the stack of already accumulating stacks of paper. She tried to push Jason from her thoughts, attempting to focus on the task at hand.
�It�s Jason, huh?� Kris questioned.
Faith slammed the drawer shut at the mention of the name, her hand getting caught inside as it closed. She bit her lip to keep from screaming. The tears came, unwanted, rolling down in a trickle. She could taste the metallic tinge of blood from clamping down on her lip too hard. Kris was at her side in moments with a chair, fighting to get Faith to sit. The tears fell, one-by-one, down her cheeks. Her hand was thoroughly numb, but now completely forgotten. She cried for Jason, for her, for the entire screwed-up situation.
Kris sent one of the freshman cadets for ice and sat down to calm Faith. �I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have brought Jason up.�
�It�s no big deal.� she said, wiping hastily at the tears. Amy worked to get the feeling back in her fingers, the tingling spiders of blood-loss overtaking the appendages. �I�m fine.� She pushed her chair back and got up.
�Faith, we�ve gotta put ice on that!�
Kris� words had no effect on her friend, who was already tackling the filing cabinet again, still struggling to move her fingers.
�Kris!� came Commander�s voice from the hallway. His long stride had him in the doorway in no time. �Chief needs you to watch his class.�
�Yes�r,� she replied, taking a glance at Faith. �Are you gonna be alright?�
Faith nodded the affirmative, plastering on a fake smile. �Got plenty of work to do.�
Kris disappeared out the door, into the semi-quiet hallway.
Faith could smell the freshly-brewed coffee, the crisp scent of paper...the faint aroma of Midnight, Jason�s cologne. Her eyes filled with tears again. She was determined to not let them fall this time. Leaning against the filing cabinets, her back to the door to hide her face from anyone who should walk in. She put a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs as the tears came. Even the movement behind her didn�t register. All she could do was concentrate on that smell. How could it smell so recent, so real, and still just be a memory from so long ago? She leaned all her weight against the metal, holding herself up.
�You�re being so childish.� Standing, she impatiently brushed the tears from her cheeks and stood upright. Hearing a shoe slide across the floor behind her, she turned. The pile of papers scattered across the floor. Faith didn�t hear them hit. She couldn�t tear her eyes from the blue and white uniform in front of her, defined muscles pushing against the restraints of midnight-blue sleeves, that face so familiar. She lost all feeling in her knees as she put a hand on the desk to catch herself. Her hero was there in moments, his arms holding her up. She looked up into his deep brown eyes, her breath catching. She lifted a shaky hand to his cheek, feeling the firm line of his jaw. Her eyes filled with tears as she realized he was real. This wasn�t a dream.
�Jason,� she exhaled heavily, her lungs relaxing, but her heart still beating extremely fast. His breathing was labored as his eyes held her own.
Slowly, her mind replayed the memories that had sparked the attachment to the man that held her.
Faith emerged from the restaurant, ice cream cone in hand, her maroon ROTC cap pulled low over her eyes. Her rich laughter could be heard all over the parking lot. Kris nudged her off the sidewalk as they made their way to the buses with everyone else. She looked up at Shane standing at the foot of the guy�s bus, poking his side.
�How are you?� he asked. �The girl�s bus has to be crowded with you on it.�
�O, didn�t you hear?�
�Hear what?�
�I�m riding to Vidalia on the guy�s bus.� With a wink, she pushed past him, stepping up the steps as Shane followed close behind.
Mrs. Sheila Poole was in her seat at the head of the bus, finishing off the last bit of her own ice cream cone. She gave a sweet smile as Faith passed.
Sara was bent over the seat behind her, giving Ryan Poole a farewell kiss, while Allie was sitting with Rieger, enjoying their last few moments together.
�What do you want?� came Chris Johnson�s voice from the back of the bus.
�For you to move.�
�We�re fixin� to leave.�
�Naw, genius.� she joked, popping him on the shoulder as she passed. Her eyes rested on Jason Prezley, sitting close behind Chris. He scooted over a little, patting the seat beside him.
�Is this seat taken?� she asked.
�Only if you�re sitting here.� He gave her a smile that sent her heart out-of-control.
�Than I guess this is my seat.� She sat on the very edge, trying to give him enough room to move.
Jake Barnes, Chris, and Ryan gabbed about computer software half the night, throwing in various dirty jokes. But Faith couldn�t focus on the conversation. Her mind was on her aching backside halfway off the seat. She uncomfortably shifted several times, trying not to rouse questions from her companion.
�Are you okay?� She froze, hoping he wasn�t talking to her. But when he leaned against her ear and repeated himself, she drew in a breath.
�I�m trying not to squish you against the window.�
For a moment he held her gaze, saying nothing. She shifted again.
�You can sit in my lap.� He said as if it were a natural offer. She had to blink, letting the question hit home.
�I�m too heavy,� she countered. The conversation around them kind�ve drowned out, and all she could hear was the rapid beat of her heart.
�Nah.� He pulled his jacket across his legs, looking at her again. �I promise, you won�t hurt me.�
�No, Jason, I�m way too heavy.� She tried to laugh her embarrassment off.
�Try me.�
She sat there for a moment, thinking about it. �You won�t be able to hold me.�
�Just give it a try.� He gave her an innocent smile.
She smiled back. �Okay, but I warned you.�
Cautiously suppressing a laugh, she stood, watching as he smoothed the sweater. Her heart was beating hard and fast as she sat down across his lap, placing her arm away from him on the back of the seat. She struggled to breath evenly as his arms encircled her waist. She knew she was blushing. She could feel the heat from her face running down her neck, contrasting with the cool night air blowing in through the bus window.
�Are you okay?� he asked.
She met his eyes, seeing the dark pools full of question. A ball of emotion stopped her voice from coming through on the first try. All she could do was shake her head to the affirmative, quickly turning her eyes away. For about ten minutes, she struggled to stay focused on the conversation between Jake, Chris and Ryan. She took not of Rieger, passed out against everyone�s piled bags across from them. She made sure she kept her arms away from Jason�s neck, far from temptation.
The darkness was penetrated only by the headlights of passer-by�s. The distant conversation had branched off to the intimate and dirty, but all she could think of was how close Jason was. Without thinking, she turned her head, her eyes meeting his own. For long moments, it was as if she couldn�t move, as if she were frozen in place. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips brushed her chin like a feather, so soft and tender. She nuzzled his neck as his arms tightened around her. Here head was spinning and her senses heightened. Backing up, she looked into his eyes again. He moved in, kissing the end of her nose, than the side of her lips.
She wanted to ask so many questions. Was this just a fling? Would this go anywhere? But she stopped herself. She didn�t know what was happening. And when his lips touched her own, fireworks began to go off. Arms tightened around her as the kiss deepened, her heart beating like an African drum. Her mind was numb as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck.
�Woah!� came a loud shout from only a few feet away. Faith smiled as she pulled back a little. She turned her head to catch Ryan and Jake with their front row seats. Jason laughed, kissing her again. She could live with it if this bus ride never ended. Still the questions circled in her head, but she pushed them away. She hugged Jason tight, than slid into the seat beside him. He kept his questioning eyes on her.
�Are you okay?�
She leaned against his chest, his arms going around her, holding her close.
�I�m content to be right here.�
He intertwined his fingers with hers. �Really?�
She shook her head, running a finger across their locked hands. �This seems too good to be true.�
�Does it?� He nuzzled closer, holding her tighter. She laughed softly, snuggling against his chest. Than a thought crossed her mind. �We can�t let David know.�
�Why?� he asked against her ear.
�Because if Rayford finds out...�
�Rayford, who?�
�He�s the guy I�m dating.�
Jason met her eyes at that moment. �Oh.� He hugged her tighter to his chest.
For now, nothing mattered but the two of them here, together, in the back of the guy�s bus, in this crowded little seat, the outside world a distant thought.
Faith pulled away, slowly, taking her weight off Jason. She didn�t know what to say. His arms hadn�t left her waist, as if they belonged there. They did. She knew they did.
His face came closer to hers, her eyes instinctively closing. His cologne was so strong in her nostrils as she awaited the tender touch of his lips.
�Faith! It�s time to get up!�
Slowly, she picked her head up from the desk, the bright screen of her computer causing her to squint. The internet had long since disconnected. All that was visible was the Internet Explorer error message. Faith sighed, her eyes resting on the picture next to her monitor. Tears found their way to her eyes, her heart effectively breaking. The memory of the dream, the one that felt so real, right down to the warmth of his arms, was still fresh. Nevertheless, in her heart of hearts, she knew he�d never come home.
