I once had a job in walking distance

From my trailer park.

Sometimes I’d walk in broad day light,

Sometimes I’d bike in the dark

But I always seemed to be punctual

No matter when the date.

I came there on the days they said

And hardly ever late. ^{^}

My paychecks were all saddening

For I had training wage

And there was no escape from it;

Five dollars for ninety days.

Then one day I woke up early

To get up and out for work,

But then I stopped for a pain in my stomach

Came and made me feel worse.

I wasn’t desperate but on that Sunday

When I wasn’t feeling well,

I decided to pick up the phone

And tell the boss I was ill.

I picked the receiver off the bedside stand

And dialed my digits to call.

I told the boss I contracted something

And didn’t feel good at all.

I went back to sleep after calling the chief,

Around then it was 6:32.

I happened to wake about four hours later

And realized the mistake I went through.

I felt better than I did before,

I felt like fighting the world.

I hopped out of bed, then went to get fed

With a bowl filled of Cinnamon Swirls.

My mom then came out her room and announced

That since it was nearing towards fall,

That we should go and buy some clothes

Down at her boyfriend’s new mall.

I felt happy then because money I’d spend

On stuff that I wanted for self.

She’d buy me some shoes, some shirts and pants;

I’d rack up my CD shelf.

But then as I thought everything was fine,

Something had taken my perk.

Because my wallet was bare, my one source of funds

Lied in a drawer at my work.

I begged and pleated; I’d pay her back

But my mom had lent me no green.

I said that I’d clean up my room, the car,

And make the kitchen floor gleam.

She still said no. My only option was to go

Over to the store for my check.

I’d have to be cautious since they thought I was nauseous,

I go and then leave to the left.

Since my mom disapproved and thought it was rude,

Up to the store I walked.

I went to the store and went in the drawer

Then the cashier and me had talked.

I faked a disease and said my mom drove

Me up there to go fetch my check.

I owed her some cash because she needed some gas

So we could go to the medic.

I thought he had bought it, but I was unsure,

He looked real concerned for my health,

And off we went to the mall with a smile

And made purchases with my wealth.

I called that next Wednesday to see when they’d need me.

My boss said, "Sorry, Shaun,

But they said you were ill but you got your check still.

I don’t think we’ll need you now on."

I can’t believe I lost my job

Over a check for fifty bucks,

But I guess it’s my fault for it was I who had called

Or maybe it was just my luck.

If I had a chance to do it again,

I’d have gone to work to get pay

Because it’s easier to get fired than it is to be hired.

I had not one job to this day.

Let this be a lesson to all that read it:

Never go lie to your boss

For if you do, you’re pretty much screwed.

Your entire job will be lost.