1/23/03
An Amazing Discovery
  
    I don’t really get too much mail. I do my best to not give my address out to just 
anyone who comes along and when I do give my address it’s usually my home address not 
my school address. So unless I’m getting some sort of mass school solicitation, I’m 
probably not getting anything.
  
    I did get something non-school based the other day, it came in a relatively blank 
envelope, addressed to me without a return address. It also had the words “Time dated 
material inside” and “Important document enclosed”. Now I realized right off this was 
most definitely just, but just to be sure I figured I would go ahead and open it anyway.
  
    Imagine my surprise when I opened it to find a credit card application! There it was 
the “Discover” logo big and huge and “You’ve been selected” in huge lettering. I had 
never opened a credit card based envelope in my life knowing that a) I have no need for 
a credit card and that b) credit is “evil”. However this company was wise enough not to 
put their logo all over the outside of the envelope causing me to open it by mistake. 
Now my eyes were open to this wonderful bounty so I set about that instant filling out 
and returning the contents of the envelope. Thank you for allowing me to see the light 
Discover.
  
    Actually I promptly ripped the envelope and it’s contents in half and dropping them 
in a pile under my napkins to be pitched later within a second after opening the 
envelope. I immediately regretted this move when I remembered this. Maybe next time, 
though sending back an envelope pieced together with tape would show I put effort into 
pissing them off, assuming the post office accepted it.
  
    I have to wonder who actually falls for this sort of thing. I imagine they are the 
same people that go for the “You are a winner if this is flashing” pop-up adds. I mean, 
if you want a credit card then you won’t care if the envelope has “Visa” printed on the 
outside. The only thing I can figure is this blank “important” envelope is targeted at 
people like me who throw out this junk without even opening it. Frankly this sort of 
blatant marketing only makes me less likely to take up the offer than if they had sent 
me a pre activated card with a stamp on it.