06/21/02 (Eastern)
06/20/02 (Central)
King of the Road
  
    You drive like shit. I'm sorry to inform you but you know when you cut me off 
by making your left turn in front of me making my right turn? That really fucking 
pissed me off. I hope you don't mind that I took down your plate and pissed in your 
gas tank that evening. I mean last time I checked right turns had the right of way 
over left turns when the lights are green all around.
  
    Also you, you know who, the person who almost ran me over in the post office 
parking lot. Pedestrians have the right of way in those you know. Besides, feel 
free to run me over, I'll be laughing my ass off when they convict you of VEHICULAR 
MANSLAUGHTER. Did I mention I work for ten attorneys? You better hope you kill me 
when you hit me else you'll be so fucking sued you'll have to work 48 hour days to 
pay me off by the time you die. You thought you were in a hurry now, just wait till 
then.
  
    And finally to the idiots on the two lane to one lane merger near the coke plant 
on the way down highway 54. Oh how I love you people. You see, when I drive at 65-70 
mph down the two lane section, and try to pass you, it means I plan on driving 65-70 
all the way home. If you are going to insist of speeding up so I can't pass you 
before the road merges, make sure you keep going 80 when it's one lane as well. Next 
time you slow down to 50 in front of me just because the easy passing zone disappeared 
I'm going to just keep going and plow right through you. Maybe next time you'll be 
sure to tell the person driving your now-crippled ass around to slow down and let me 
pass. This isn't a fucking competition here people, it's something called courtesy. 
I'm sure you are doing it because you think someone else did it to you once but just 
remember, you aren't fucking solving the problem.
  
    So in closing, next tine you feel like cutting me off, remember I hate you and 
have no problems with leaving your vehicle crushed body in a ditch somewhere.