I never felt so lonely
Never felt so out of place
I never wanted something more than this

-Savage Garden; Santa Monica

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Now That I'm Here
[Saving Kasey J]
TEASER

If it were humanly possible to become a physical object, I would be the one to make that discovery. No longer would I be molded into the darkest corner of this room, but I would become the wall. Be one with the wall. Or maybe I'd make the jump from being to existing; I could fall into the deep hole of the music surrounding me, swirling around me, indulging me.

Looking around I see what I've always wanted, the beautiful people, the expensive clothes, the fame. But if I were to look closer, what would I see? Icons without minds, faces without lives, freedom or privacy. The outer shells of those before me, whose innards have been scraped out.

One glance to the mirrored wall beside me and I'm not there, but I'm no vampire, it's just not me. Looking around again I wonder, were they like me, did it come to a point of live or let die? "You've come this far, why not keep pushing, you won't become one." Promises turned to lies, I'm already halfway there, I can tell. Did they feel alone, like no one would understand, like the last sacrifice needed to be made, there is nothing left to go back to anyway.

I'm looking at what I've always wanted straight in the eye; seeing hell.

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