Disclaimer:  I do NOT own these characters.  No infringement intended.  Though God knows if I did own them, Joey and Dawson would be ALLOWED to be happy.  Though I write this when there are only 10 episodes left in the series!  Oh suicide!  L  I only pray that the fabulous Katie Holmes and James Van Der Beek work together again.  Their chemistry is phenomenal and their legacy of Dawson’s Creek will live on forever.

 

Title:  I Drove All Night

 

Rating:  NC-17 for sexual situations and a little language

 

Keywords:  Joey/Dawson Romance

 

Summary:  Joey and Dawson are both 29, and getting married.  Joey became a medical doctor and Dawson of course, a film director.  But after the wedding and the honeymoon, Joey is pregnant with their first child, and guess what, the story doesn’t even end there!

 

Feedback:  YES!  Please!

 

E-mail:  [email protected].  Paradise, me, is the author to this story, hope you enjoy it.

 

Title Comments:  Shamelessly ripped from Celine Dion’s GORGEOUS song, I just played it over and over and over again while writing this.

 

Chapter 1

 

            Jen adjusted Joey’s dress and then looked at her in the full-length mirror.

            “Joey, you’re beautiful,” Jen said breathlessly.

            “Thank you.  A beautiful dress specifically fitted for my body and professional make up artists and hair stylists help.”

            “You’re still beautiful,” Jen said. 

            “Thank you,” Joey said. 

            Joey’s wedding gown glistened ever so slightly in the light.  It was an off the shoulder gown in a rich bridal satin with a twist, crossing over the waistline with a flattering pleated panel.  She also had long sleeves of ivory beaded lace top with pearls and diamate.

            “Do you have a garter?” Jen asked.

            “Yeah right,” Joey said.  “Let’s give everyone a show of pulling a band off my leg so all the guys can…” Joey stopped herself.  “No, I think that’s a bit primitive.”

            “Forever the feminist, aren’t you Jo?” Jen smiled.

            “Women are only gonna succeed in life if we demand it.  And the man I’m gonna marry loves me as an equal, and I love him more than anything.”

            Just at that moment Bessie came through the door.

            “K, how we doing?”

            “Just about ready,” Jen said. 

            “You look gorgeous,” Bessie exclaimed to her little sister.

            “Yeah well, I’m supposed to, this is my wedding day,” Joey said, smiling.  “You know what’s awful though?  I can’t sit down or else I’ll wrinkle my dress.  Bessie, did you see Dawson?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Did he look nervous?”

            “No, should he?”

            “No,” Joey said.  “Just checking.”

            “Jo, he loves you, everything’s gonna be fine.  You can believe in happiness, God knows you deserve it.  Come here, I’ve got something to show you,” Bessie said.  She got out a photograph and showed it to Joey.  “This is mom on her wedding day.”

            Joey was amazed at how much she looked like her mother.

            “Wow,” she said.  “She looks like me.  She always looked so much like you but in this photo she looks like me.”

            “Yeah she does, and she’s beautiful.  Jo she’s also here, with you.”

            Joey nodded.  “Yeah, I keep telling myself that.”

            Bessie put her arm around her little sister. 

            “And she’s so proud of you.  She’s proud that you’re a doctor and that you’re marrying the man that you love, she’s proud of who you are and who you’ve become.  And she loves you more than she could ever tell you.”

            Tears gathered in Joey’s eyes and she pulled back, blinking them away.

            “Come on, Bessie, I just got all my makeup on, don’t make me cry.”

            “K,” Bessie said, smiling. 

Bessie reached into her pocket and found her mother’s diamond necklace.  It was a diamond with smaller crystals on either side of it enclosed in the shiny silver setting surrounding it.  Joey’s eyes widened at the beauty of it.

“Where’d you get that?” Joey exclaimed.  “You didn’t buy that for me, that’s too expensive-“

            “Jo, it’s Mom’s,” Bessie said.  “She wanted me to give it to you on your wedding day.”

            Bessie walked to her sister and put it in Joey’s hands.  It was heavy and exquisite.

            “Where’d she get this?  Is that real?”

            “Yes, it’s real.  It’s sort of a family heirloom.  Your skin is beautiful with that dress but would you like to wear this anyway?”

            The tears started again and she laughed and cried at the same time.

            “Are…are you kidding, of course I want to wear it, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!  It looks so antique and so…it looks like it’s for royalty.”

            Bessie went behind Joey and clasped the necklace on her.  It rested against her skin, cooling it.  It went with Joey’s dress perfectly, and when she looked in the mirror she saw a beautiful woman staring back at her.

            “Okay okay,” Bessie said, pulling out a camera.  “A few random photos of the bride before she leaves to go get married to the boy she’s loved all her life.”

            Joey rolled her eyes.  “Bessie, we have professional photographers downstairs for a reason.”

            “Humor me,” Bessie said, and the flashes began to blind Joey.

            “Whoa!  You wanna take like one photo at a time?  You’re blinding me?”

            “Oh come on, you only get married once…hopefully.”

            Jen laughed. 

            “Maid of honor, why don’t you get in the picture with her, get closer…a little closer, faces together…yes!  That’s gonna be a good one.”

            At that moment the door flew open and Joey and Jen screamed in shock.

            “Hello ladies and…ladies, I am here to escort the lovely bride downstairs to her father’s waiting hand,” Pacey said triumphantly.  “And Joey don’t you look gorgeous,” he flirted.  “Course you’ll be upstaged by the best man but that’s all right, you’ll be a close second to my unbeatable sexy self.”

            Joey smiled, unable to hide how much Pacey always made her laugh.  She held her hands out to him and he walked to her, taking them. 

            “Seriously, Jo, you look beautiful.”

            They leaned in to hug each other but Bessie stopped them.

            “WHOA WHOA WHOA!  Do not hug her, you’ll wrinkle the dress and probably smear her makeup.  But why don’t you and Jen get on either side of Joey for a few more shots.”

            “More?” Joey whined.

            “Hey, you’ll be grateful for these when you’re ugly and old, I swear to you.”

            What made these shots great was Joey, Jen, and Pacey were laughing and talking with each other, so it was more of candid photos than posed ones, and the loving looks and laughs would show up beautifully in the photos.

            “Okay, we have about one minute and forty-seven seconds until you’re supposed to be walking down the isle Jo, so, you ready?” Bessie asked.

            It was this moment that had Joey’s blood speeding through her body and happy tears prickling the back of her eyelids. 

            “Before we go I just want to tell the three of you how much I love you and how I wouldn’t be here today without each of you helping me to survive and be strong.  I love you all, so much.”

            “We love you too, honey, but don’t start crying,” Pacey said.  “Not yet anyway.  I never knew anyone though who wanted to get married barefoot in the sand in front of an ocean.”

            “Really?” Joey asked.  “Well it’s my wedding day, I wanted it at dusk, in front of the ocean, without painful heels.  Like I’m not tall enough already.  Let’s go, I wanna get married.”

 

            The sun was setting, the ocean waves were calm yet strong.  Joey walked half way down the isle with her father, the rest by herself.  The lights surrounding the alter were absolutely beautiful, and Joey stood up straight and tall, smiling as she felt every eye on her.  She felt beautiful, she felt every good thing she could possibly feel, yet fear surrounded her body.  A good fear though.  Just a little stage fright.  The sand beneath her feet was soft and it eased her skin as she made her way towards the man she loved.  There was a platform right behind her feet so her dress wouldn’t get sandy, but Joey at this point could’ve cared less if her dress was drenched in sand.  Joey reached Dawson and felt her whole body tremble.  She smiled at him and he reached for her hands, wanting to sooth the fear.  She gripped his tightly in hers, the tears already forming.  She was grateful that he pulled her up beside him because she felt all of a sudden weak in the knees.  She thought she heard the judge reciting something but only heard what he said when he got to…

            “Josephine and Dawson have chosen to say their own vows,” the judge said.

            Joey knew she was supposed to go first but while holding Dawson’s hands she shrugged a little to him, not knowing what to say.

            “I had a speech planned but now that I’m here I have no idea what I was going to say,” she said with watery eyes and a smile.  She heard a few chuckles in the audience.  “You know how terrified I always was to get up in front of the class for show and tell and you were right.  Stage fright.”

            He smiled at her, she loved that smile.  That smile of it’s okay, I’m here and I love you…and you’re not making an idiot out of yourself.  Joey loved that smile because it calmed her down and made her know that he was with her no matter what. 

            “When I was five I asked my mother what the difference was between loving her and the way she loved my dad.  And she said that love was caring about someone and wanting them to be safe and happy and enjoying them and having a special place in your heart for them forever.  I remember asking her if you felt like that with people you’re in love with and she said yes but that the difference was that in love is harder and more complicated.  She told me that falling in love was the fun part.  Falling in love is when you’re spinning so hard and so fast that there’s this surge of happiness going through you making you smile from the inside out.  She said that being in love is spinning fast sometimes and spinning slower sometimes.  She told me that when you’re switching from spinning fast to slow, you have to focus your eye on one thing or else you can lose your balance, and fall.  And then you can break and that that was the hard part of being in love.  I asked her what happened once you fell.  She said that you stayed down for a little while so that you could get your focus back and once everything was still again you could stand up again.  And slowly spin again, but to this time be more careful to keep your eye on one thing so you don’t fall.  Well I’m there, Dawson.  I have spun too fast with you and I have fallen flat on my face.  But every time I fell a piece of me grew inside and a broken piece fell away.  The broken pieces melted and the pieces that didn’t break grew stronger, and it taught me what life is, what love is.”

            She squeezed his hands in hers lovingly as her eyes washed over his with love.

            “The first time I ever saw you I felt something change inside me.  And when I saw you I remember saying to myself, now my life is going to change.  I knew I always had a safe place to be, I knew I was safe with you.  And when I fell in love with you I never thought you’d ever look at me.  I never thought you’d see me.  I had given up on my dream of you and me but in one second, you finally saw me.  You finally got a clue,” she said and there were a few more laughs in the audience.  “I’ve told you before that it’s pretty powerful when you get you wish to come true in one, single second.  But my wish did come true, and it was better than I’d ever imagined it.  And from that moment on, I didn’t have a choice anymore of whether I loved your or not.  I just did.”

            Tears fell from Joey’s wet jewel eyes and she wiped them away.

            “Shouldn’t have warn makeup today,” she smiled as the tears continued to fall. 

            Jen who was behind her handed her a Kleenex.

            “Figured you might need them,” Jen smiled.

            “Thanks,” Joey said, then gave her hands to Dawson again.  “You had this wonderful way of making me see the truth about myself and still love what I saw.  I saw myself as screwed up, you saw me as strong.  I saw myself as shamed, you saw me rise above it all.  I saw people look at me like I was so below them, you saw it as them fearing how great I was.  You not only kept me alive through many moments in my heart when I was so close to giving up, but you kept me sane.  And I looked at you and saw everything I hoped I could ever be, and you helped me feel I was worth seeking it.”

            Joey held her breath so she wouldn’t cry, and he smiled at her, tightening his hands around hers.

            “It’s okay,” he smiled softly as more tears fell from her eyes.

            Joey nodded.  “I know,” she replied.  “We made it.  We made it here, Dawson.  We get the fantasy.  We made it through our own soap opera years, being in love with other people, and we came back to knowing this was right, this was us.”

            She felt a little awkward saying that since Jen was her maid of honor and Pacey was the best man, but she knew they felt the same way.

            “And I promise to love you forever, I have no choice about that, Dawson.  I can’t help but love you, I never could.  And I promise to be there when you need me and even when you don’t.  I promise to give my all in everything we share together.  We will have ups and downs and I promise I will infuriate you,” she said and he smiled.  “But I promise that I will fight with you until it’s resolved instead of burying it so that we create a gap between us.  I promise to tell you the truth even if it hurts and I promise to believe you always when you tell me you love me.  I promise that I will grow with you and give you my respect as well as my love and I promise to laugh with you and to never shut you out.  I believe in you and your dreams.  I believe in your ability to do anything you set your mind to.  You fascinate me and you inspire me.  And I am so lucky to be the one you’re staring at right now.  I want to live my life with you, I want to take care of you and be with you.  And I want you to remember that you’re not strong, or happy because of me, but because that’s who you are, and you get to share that with me.  And…that’s my gift to you.  That there is a part of me that you own, and you can keep it safe.  And that you don’t ever have to be alone because the piece I give you is yours forever.”

            She exhaled, relieved.

            “That was damn good if you just winged that,” Dawson said and she laughed.  “Joey you know you’re the strong one in this.  You always were stronger than anyone I knew because you were asked to deal with so much at such a young age.  When I was thinking about going to Blockbuster you were thinking about making this month’s rent.  When I was thinking about ordering a pizza you were taking care of your nephew.  When I was worrying about getting an A on the quiz, you were worried about a scholarship for college.  You were the realistic one, I was the dreamer.  But I managed to make my dreams come true.  You put up with me and when I finally did get a clue, you gave up a huge opportunity for me.  France.  You could’ve escaped like I know you so desperately wanted to but instead you chose me.  And I loved you.  I loved you then, I love you now.  I loved your beauty, I loved your strength, I loved the way you got annoyed with me when I insisted on watching every credit at the end of every movie.”

            Joey rolled her eyes a little at the memories of that, teasing him.

            “But no matter what my often self-absorbed mind decides to do or say you kept coming back.  You kept loving me and I kept being me.  And you’re right, we lived a soap opera.  We hurt each other and then we’d find ourselves in some contrived situation and we’d know that we were soulmates again.”

            Joey nodded, her eyes full of love.

            “But we finally did it, Jo.  We’re finally here.  You’re barefoot in a wedding dress and we’re standing in the sand in front of the ocean saying our vows.  My eyes finally opened that night of the Pageant, I did see you as beautiful that night but I also saw you.  You didn’t think so at the time but I did.  I saw you.  Sometimes people need a little push into realizing what they’ve always seen.  So let me be there for you, let me stand by you for the rest of your life and let me love you.”

            “I love you,” she whispered, unable to not say it any longer.

            “I love you,” he replied.

            With the sun setting beautifully, reflecting over the waves, Dawson and Joey exchanged rings and kissed slowly and sensually until Pacey tapped Dawson on the shoulder when they didn’t stop.

            “Hey hey hey, later guys, come on.  Cake please.”

            Joey and Dawson’s mouths separated laughing and then it was time for the party.  Before they knew it, there was dancing and eating.  Joey danced with her father first as Dawson danced with his mother. 

            “I always knew he loved you,” Mike told his daughter.

            “Thank you for convincing me,” she smiled at him, looking so beautiful, so grownup.

            “You look so much like your mother.”

            Joey hugged him in the middle of the dance.

            “I love you, Daddy.”

            When she pulled away she was crying at the loss of her mother.

            “Hey,” he said gently, wiping the tear from her face.  “Your mother’s here Joey, she’s with you always.  Because you love her and God she loves you.”

            “She loves you too.”

            Joey danced with pretty much every man there, and hadn’t ever been kissed so many times in her entire life.  When she danced with Pacey, he teased her relentlessly.

            “Remember the pageant, you know, the one where you sang that Les Mis song?”

            “Oh God, don’t remind me, I sucked.”

            “Hey honey, lemme tell you who could’ve actually sung that song better than you…on my HAND!  And you did it better than I would’ve.  That is a hard ass song to sing.  It’s not like singing Meredith Brook’s Bitch, that’s damn Broadway song.”

            Joey couldn’t help but smile.  “Thanks.  That song is just such a damn hard song that you’re right, the people who could sing that well are about ten.”

            “Anyway, I learned how to dance right after that.”

            “You told Andie you couldn’t dance.”

            “It took a long time, but you’re making me look good.  And I don’t think I had the guts to do it with Andie.  I was a baby.”

            “I know,” Joey smiled.  “We all were.”

            But then his eyes changed, they washed over her with admiration, love, and a little attraction.  “Jo, I always knew you were Dawson’s, but I for one summer, had you.”

            Joey smiled.

            “Yes, you had me, I promise.”

            “I’m proud of you, kiddo,” Pacey said.  “Or should I say Doctor?”

            “Hmmm,” Joey smiled.  “Well, I’m only an intern, and only three hundred thousand dollars in dept.  I love my life,” she laughed.

            “Your life is beginning Joey, be excited.  And you’re gonna start making the bucks fast to pay off everything.”

            “Oh my God, I’m so excited I can barely breathe!” she smiled, with radiant, passionate eyes.  “There’s so much more in my life than just being a doctor and a wife, and those things are huge!”

“Are you happy, Jo?”
She smiled at him and exhaled.  “I’m so happy I’m about to be really nauseating.”

            He leaned down and kissed her, a brief kiss but a nice one.  And Joey felt a flash even with her eyes closed and knew somebody got that on camera.  She was glad, it was cute.

            “Thought I’d kiss the bride,” he said.

            She smiled.  “Pacey, you’re too handsome for words, I gotta go dance with someone else before you make me look bad,” she teased, seeing Jack behind him, waiting for a dance.

            “May I dance with your sister?” Pacey asked Jack as he took Joey into his arms.

            “Absolutely,” Jack said and Pacey left to pursue Andie.  “Are you happy?”

            Joey laughed.  “Yes!  I’m so happy I feel like I’m going to explode, why is everyone asking that?  I’ve just married the man I’ve loved my whole life, what else would I be?”

            “We’re all so stunned by how beautiful you are we can’t think of anything intelligent to say,” Jack replied and Joey smiled.

            “Nice try.  I’m gonna miss you so much.”

            “Hey, I’ll come to California, I’ll drive you crazy with phone calls and uninvited visits,” he promised.

            “Good!”

            Dawson danced with his mother, who watched him look at Joey dancing.

            “She loves you,” Gale said.

            “Oh I know that,” he said happily.  “Thank you for always telling me to reach for my dreams.  Mom I wouldn’t have had any without her.”

            “I know.  I have every faith in the both of you.  She’s a beautiful, strong young woman and you are an ambitious, talented, beautiful man.”

            “You are the other reason I’m where I am today, Mom.  You’re the best mother I could’ve had.  And I hate to end this dance but I see Todd now dancing with Joey and I’m gonna go save her.”

            “Go ahead,” Gale said, and watched her son walk to Joey. 

            Mike walked over to her.

            “Our kids are beautiful,” he commented.

            “They certainly are,” she replied with a smile.  “Would you like to dance?”

            Mike smiled.  “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

            As Joey and Dawson danced they saw both their parents dancing together.

            “Reminds me of the day my father catered that wedding and Gale was so kind to dance with him, to ease his fears about being back in society.”

            “Well what was beautiful was you dancing with him,” Dawson replied.

            Joey smiled and lowered her eyes to his mouth, kissing him. 

            “You made me allow myself to know I loved him,” she said softly.  “And I was proud of him.  I was so happy to be in his arms, dancing with him.”

            “I remember Bessie’s face when she saw you two.  She was so happy and proud.”

            “Speaking of Bessie, where is she?” Joey said, looking around.

            “Don’t worry about it,” Dawson told her.

            “You sure you love me?” she asked.

            “Yeah, pretty damn sure.”

            “You sure you can put up with me for the rest of our lives?”       

            “I’ll sure try.  But for the moment, let me steal you off the dance floor so I can give you something.”

            She smiled as he took her hand and walked with her.

            “Dawson,” she said as they walked past the guests.  “We’re the party, they’re gonna notice we’re gone.”

            “We won’t be gone that long.”

            When they reached the end of the settings on the beach for their wedding and were reaching the grass, Joey stopped.

            “Dawson, I’m not gonna ruin this wedding dress.”

            Dawson gave in.  “All right.  Here,” he said, taking out a jewelry case.

            She took it in her elegant hand and opened it to see a golden necklace with a heart, a heart that was stripped with gold instead of being a solid setting.

            “Open it,” he told her.

            She opened the heart up to see a tiny photo of her mother inside.  Joey was speechless. 

            “See Joey, the heart is half open, it’s still open even clasped so your mother’s love can flow through it to your heart.  So you can have her with you wherever you go, and know that she loves you.”

            Joey couldn’t help the tears that fell from her eyes as she smiled at him.  She touched the necklace she already wore.

            “Bessie gave me this today, it was my mother’s, but this Dawson is so much more to me than any family heirloom.  The necklace I’m wearing is exquisite enough for some millionaire but this necklace will always make me feel safer, and loved.” 

            She put her arms around him and hugged him.

            “Thank you.”

            “There you two are!” Jen exclaimed.  “It’s time for the toasts and then the cake, so do whatever it is you’re planning to do, as if we even have to ask, later!”

            Joey and Dawson laughed, separated and followed Jen back.

 

            “All right, it’s time for everyone to be quiet and await my incredible speech as best man,” Pacey said, standing up, and Joey and Dawson who were beside him were already laughing at him.  “Hey, shush,” Pacey said, seeing both their faces.  “This is my moment, my solo number, so give me a break.”

            Joey rested against Dawson, his arms around her waist as they both faced their dear friend. 

            “Try to be finished though this millennium, Pace,” Dawson said.

            “All right, everyone raise you glasses,” Pacey said.  “To this overdue, desperately appreciated act by our two stars of the evening, it took you long enough.”

            “Here here,” Jen said.

            “And to the love that you two share, have shared forever, may it be continuous for the rest of your lives.  May it bring you all the happiness both your hearts can hold, cause God knows you deserve it.  And may you continue to entertain us all with your love, may you continue to give the rest of us hope that we’ll all find it and be as lucky as the two of you.  Joey, Dawson, may you have that love, and the love of all your friends and family, and may you never forget that love.”

            With tears in Joey’s eyes she couldn’t believe she’d burst out laughing when he said, “How’d I do?”

            She and Dawson laughed, then stood up.  She put her arms around Pacey. 

            “Thank you Pacey, that was beautiful,” she said, kissing him on the lips. 

            Then moving aside Dawson and Pacey hugged.

            “Okay, break it up,” Jen said.  “It’s my turn now.”

            The three of them seated themselves and turned their attention to Jen.

            “All right the truth is, everything I was going to say Pacey pretty much said.  So Joey, I’m gonna tell you that right about now, your surprise has arrived so I’m gonna let you take over.”

            “Oh!” Joey said, standing up.  “All right everyone, this is sort of a present to my husband.  With the help of Todd, another very incredible guest…” she trailed off and looked at Todd.  “Is he here?” she whispered.

            “Yes, love, I’ll get him,” Todd said.

            “All right, Dawson, c’mere,” she said, taking his hand and pulling him out of his chair.  “Now just stand here, and take a deep breath.”

            “What’s going on?” he asked, a little suspicious.

            “Mate,” Todd said, walking back towards Dawson with another man beside him.  “Your wife wanted you to finally meet your idol and half the world’s idol.  Steven Spielburg, Dawson Leery.  Also his wife, Josephine Potter.”

            Dawson, stunned and unable to move, watched his wife go towards the man who he still to this day worshipped.  Joey took both of Steven’s hands and smiled.

“Hi, it’s great to finally meet you,” Joey said as Steven kissed both her cheeks. 

            “The pleasure’s mine, Joey, Todd’s told me so much about the both of you and I have wanted to meet you both on several occasions these past few years.”

            Dawson had his mouth slightly open as he reached out and shook hands with Steven.  He then looked at Joey.

            “You did this?”

            “Yeah, with a little help from Todd.”

            Dawson grabbed Joey’s face and kissed her so quickly she yelped in fear before his mouth covered hers.  The kiss turned into a passionate one very quickly as she put her arms around him and kissed him back. 

            “Uh, hello, do that later,” Pacey said.  “Mr. Spielburg, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve watched your movies, it’s nice to meet you.”

            Steven shook hands with Pacey and Joey realized that she needed to break the ice. 

            “All right, let’s go sit down and start enjoying the food.”

 

            An hour and a half later most of the guests were tipsy and laughing.  Joey by far was the star of the evening, all eyes on her as she made all the classy jokes and great conversation with Steven Speilburg. 

            “…and WHY didn’t you give us the happy Hollywood ending with A.I.?” she laughed.

            “It wasn’t my movie, Stanley Kubrick passed away before the movie was finished and I got a phone call and there I was a few months later at the premiere.  Joey it was his movie, his story, they only wanted me for special effects.  As you can see I get no respect in life,” he said and everyone laughed.

            “Oh yeah, poor baby, you can cry all the way to the bank,” she laughed.

            “Okay, Joey,” Steven said, who sat across from her but was leaning in.  “Have you ever wanted to be an actress?”

            She gave him a bizarre look, totally thrown by the question.

            “Uh…I never really thought about it.  I grew up in a very contrived life where I pretty much had to take care of myself for myself and that was it.  I was pretty much just worrying about getting a scholarship so I could go to college.”

            “Well yes, but now you’re a grown woman and with the life of your life sitting next to you being a film director and producer, it’s never occurred to you to act?  To have a cameo in one of his films?”

            Joey smiled and looked at Dawson who squeezed her hand lovingly.  She was so vibrate and radiant.  She glowed with her beauty and her self-confidence and she sparkled more than he had ever seen.  He was perfectly happy to let her do all the talking to Steven because he was still shaking and would probably say something stupid.  She knew he was nervous which was why she held his hand tightly in hers, reassuringly, and did the talking for him, but always paused to give him an opening should he choose to take it.  He was thrilled though to just sit back and watch her shine. 

            “Well, I-I have a hard time…I almost passed out just saying my vows,” Joey admitted humorously.  “I had a part in Dawson’s first movie with his video camera but I think that’s…that’s pretty much my criteria.  Besides, I didn’t go to med-school for nothing.”

            “Oh that’s right, Todd said you were a doctor, congratulations.”

            “Thanks, but as of now I’m only an intern, but at least I’m actually practicing, even if it is monitored like a guy out on parole.”

            “Yes but she’s an amazing doctor,” Dawson said.  “I’ve watched her year after year put everything she could into it and she will save lives.”

            Mike raised his glass.  “To Joey’s medical career.”

            Everyone cheered with him. 

            “Thank you, Dad,” Joey said.  “And now I’m gonna be really really bold and ask to dance with the King of Hollywood.”

            Oohs went over the tables but Steven as a perfect gentlemen holding his hand out to her.

            “Wwwwwait a minute!” Dawson announced, tugging his wife’s hand as she stood to meet Steven on the dance floor.

            He stood up and she smiled at him.

            “Dawson, don’t worry, I’m never gonna fall for him.”

            “Why not, I did.”

            Joey exhaled a laugh.

            “Because he didn’t put his napkin in his lap, I hate it when people do that.  And you never did.”

            Dawson smiled and kissed her, but instead of it being a quick kiss, she wrapped her arms around him and deepened it happily.  Both Joey and Dawson saw lights flashing and knew the photographers were catching this moment.  That kiss turned into a make-out kiss Dawson was really getting into until she pulled back. 

            “More of that soon, but we paid for the party, let’s enjoy it.  You wanna make me worry since I’m making you worry?” she teased.  “Go dance with Jen, but you better come back to me.”

            He cupped her face.  “Jen was my substitute, I love her, but I’m not in love with her and I don’t think I ever really was.”

            Joey smiled.  “I’m not worried.  And Steven Speilburg can’t direct as well as you can when you’re hung over and asleep.”

            Dancing with Steven Speilburg was odd for Joey, but not NEARLY as odd as she thought it would be.  In fact it was almost as if he was more coy than she. 

            “I know every word of every scene of every movie you’ve ever made,” she said and he laughed.  “And not always by choice!” Joey teased, but then turned serious.  “I appreciate this more than I can say.  Dawson has and will be your biggest fan forever.  You’re his mentor and for me to be able to get him to finally see you, face to face, he still doesn’t believe it’s really you.”

            “I’ve seen a few of his movies, he’s very talented.”

            “Oh boy, don’t tell me that, tell him.  But let me get you on tape saying that, and he will play that about fifty times a day,” she said and he chuckled.

            “Well I’ll tell you what, I’ll make a DVD for both of you, that’ll be my wedding present to you.  And although it’s taken awhile for me to meet you both but I’m glad I finally have, and I think we should stay in touch because I think Dawson’s talent is real.”

            “His talent has always been incredible,” Joey said.

            The song ended and Steven asked Joey if he could kiss the bride.

            “I expected this day to be the day I would be kissed the most, so yes, please,” Joey said, and the lights of the photographers flashed non-stop when they briefly kissed. 

            Steven pulled back, looked at the photographers and realized that they now had shots of him kissing a bride of another movie director with her in his arms.  Now she was in his arms because of the dancing but if these photos got out, the press could make up any story they’d like.

            “Uh, Joey, have you ever been on the front page of the National Enquirer?”

            Joey knew what he was thinking.

            “But those are photographers I hired, they can’t sell my wedding photos.”

            “Actually they can.  Unfortunately, even though they are your wedding photos, they keep the negatives, and if someone paid them enough-“

            “I got it,” Joey said.  “I’m not worried,” she smiled.  “Let them print whatever, it’s crap.”

            “Wow you’re a good sport.”

            Dawson intervened.  “Can I cut in?”

            Steven handed Joey to Dawson and Joey threw her head back in laughter.

            “Dawson, if I was on a tabloid kissing another man would you believe me if I told you there was nothing going on?”

            Dawson gave her a secure smile.

            “Oh really,” he said dancing with her.  “And who might that be?”

            “Just your childhood hero, you’re getting famous here Dawson, and our guest.”

            “Oh please tell me I made you watch his movies enough times that you lost any real interest in him.”

            “Oh you have nothing to worry about,” Joey said.  “Which reminds me, can uh…we slip away so I can give you your real present.”

            Dawson’s eyes widened and he smiled.

            “You mean Steven Speilburg wasn’t enough?”

            “Not quite,” she said, talking his hand.  “Come on.”

            She walked towards the forest again with him, just enough so that the beach and the beautiful area they had setup for the ceremony was a little in the distance.  She sat on a bench and pulled him down beside her.  Joey looked him in the eye.

            “Uh oh,” Dawson said.  “I know this look, you’re gonna tell me you’re in love with someone else now aren’t you,” he teased.

            “Nope, I’m gonna tell you I’m pregnant.”

            Dawson was silent for a minute, sure he hadn’t heard right. 

            “What?” he asked and she exhaled a laugh.

            “I’m gonna have a baby,” she said again. 

            Dawson blinked a couple times.  “Wh…I thought you uh…we were using birth control.”

            “I was,” she said.  “You remember all those after school specials talking about nothing but abstinence as the only full proof solution?   Well they were kinda right.”

            Dawson’s shocked face turned into a happy one, and he even laughed.  A weight of relief lifted off of Joey.  He was happy!  Thank God!

            “Joey, this is…the best news I could ever have but what about you?  You just finished med-school, you’re an intern.  You’re a doctor, barely a doctor-“

            “I know, I know.  I was feeling like that too at first, like this was the worst possible time but then I thought, you know what, this is perfect.  Because I’m getting the two things I wanted more than anything at the same time.  It’ll be difficult, but I can do it if you’ll help me.”

            “Help you?” he laughed.  “That child’s gonna be on the set with me everyday.”

            Dawson put his hand over her stomach then knelt down, putting his ear to her stomach.  She laughed.

            “What are you doing?”

            “I wanna hear a heartbeat, I wanna know he or she is in there, oh my God Joey,” he said, clamping her against him for a hug, then pulling back enough to shower her face with little kisses and she laughed.

            “Oh right!” she laughed.  “This child isn’t gonna be on the set EVERY day.  We’ll try to give this baby somewhat of a normal life, please?  You know, the one you sort of had but the one I didn’t?”

            He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight as she laughed and cried at the same time.  She hugged him back until she had to pull back to wipe her tears. 

            “Okay, so we’re in this together?  You want this baby-“

            “YES!” he said incredibly enthusiastically. 

            “Okay, good!” she said.  “Because I do too.  But, speaking of pregnancy, I’m hungry so can we go back and eat the cake and get onto our honeymoon?”

            “Yeah, let’s go,” he said, standing up and pulling her with him, then abruptly stopping.  “Wait, do we keep in quiet?”

            “For now,” she said.  “Let this party be for you and me and just you and me, cause God knows we deserve it.  I love you,” she said, kissing him.

 

            They cut the cake together, hand in hand, and she held her piece up to his mouth with a mischievous look on her face.

            “Jo, be nice,” he said and she laughed, delicately giving him the piece.

            There were cheers and congratulations and photos taken until both their mouths hurt from smiling.  Finally the car came around and Dawson picked Joey up as he put her in.  There was rice being thrown and shouts of good luck and it was nauseating, but great.  Joey was thrilled when the door shut so the screaming and flashes from the photographers had stopped.  She leaned back against the seat.

            “God, I loved that but I am SO glad it’s over.  I’m exhausted!”

            “Well not too exhausted please,” Dawson said, caressing the side of her face.

            She smiled and looked over at him.  “Oh nothing could make me that tired.”

            “Okay, so in forty five minutes we’ll be on a plane.  Then we’ll be in Florida, then we’ll be on the cruise.  So for those forty five minutes, sleep,” he told her.

            Ironically, she did instantly nod off.  And she had a dream…a memory actually.

 

            “Come here,” Dawson said, pulling Joey up over him on her bed.  Cupping her face they deeply kissed.  “I’m so lucky I know you,” he said, running his lips along her neck.

            “You know my secrets and I know yours,” she whispered, slipping her fingers up under his shirt, running her nails along his back as he sat up and pushed her down on the bed beneath him.  The kiss grew more intense and she teased him with her words and her lips.  “You ever still think of me as just a friend?”

            “Couldn’t go back to that if I tried,” he said, sliding her shirt up and off her body, then returning to attacking her mouth.

            She curved her body against him, arched herself to feel every molecule as best as she could, enjoying the sensations as they came, as they came in hard, magnificent crashes.

            “Thank God Bessie’s not here,” he murmured against her lips.

            It was at that moment they heard Alexander cry and Dawson collapsed on her as they both let out an anguished moan.

            “I can’t BELIEVE he cries now,” Joey said beneath Dawson’s body.  “It’s okay Alex, I’m coming!  It’s okay honey,” she called to her nephew.  “Dawson, get off me,” she said, rolling him off of her and dragging herself down the hallway to his room.

            He was crying and reaching his fat baby arms towards her and she picked him up like a protective mommy lion. 

            “I’m here honey,” she said, resting him against her and swaying back and forth slightly.  “I love you baby, it’s okay.”  She gave him several maternal kisses as she held him closely, making sure he knew she would protect him with her life should she have to.

            He was still tired so she knew she’d have to rock him to sleep.  Normally she adored him falling asleep on her, that trust of a baby so deep and so precious that they in truth are giving you control of their life in the moment they sleep, but she had other urges right now that far outweighed this one.  Still, she loved him even though he wasn’t hers, and she would take care of him.

            She put her finger in his mouth gently so he could suck on it, to ease his teething.  Dawson by this point had come into the room and watched her talk to Alex and take care of him.  She changed his diaper without any hesitation and fixed his bottle.  She sat him in the rocking chair, feeding him, telling him how much she loved him along with other sweet words of endearment.  Once Alexander had finished the bottle, he wrapped his arms around Joey and fell asleep against her.  She caressed his skin delicately with her fingers as she sang softly to ease him to sleep.  She looked up and saw Dawson staring at her.

            “What?” she asked.

            “Nothing…I just…I never saw you as a mother before,” he said, and that line changed her life forever.

            Tears gathered in her eyes at the memory of her mother holding her. 

            “Thank you,” she said softly.

            Dawson walked over to her and knelt down in front of the rocking chair she sat in.

            “No I’m serious, this is incredible.  You are such a natural mother, Jo.  The way he trusts you and loves you, you earned that.  Babies don’t know anything about manners yet, he comes to you because he wants it to be you who holds him and kisses away bad dreams.”

            Joey smiled a little.  “Thank you, Dawson.  I don’t know if I’ll ever have children of my own but I do sometimes feel like his mother rather than his Aunt.  I take care of him everyday until nine o’clock at night sometimes.”

            “Well, if you do have kids, you’ll be wonderful.”

 

Chapter 2

 

            “This elevator is slower than hell,” Dawson said.

            “Someone anxious to consummate this marriage?” Joey teased.

            “Yes.”

            “Good, me too.”

            She reached with her long fingers to the halt button of the elevator and it abruptly stopped.  

            “Before anyone notices one of the elevators in this hotel isn’t working, put your hands on me,” she said.

            Cupping her face he tilted it upwards, kissing her as his other hand met hers and pulled the luggage from it, and as it hit the floor they quickly leaned back against the side of the elevator.  She began unbuttoning his shirt as he began to peel her blouse open and slightly hike her skirt up.  In the midst of these attempts they laughed against each other’s lips.

            “This is about as hard as doing it in an airplane bathroom,” she laughed.

            “Yeah, but worth it,” he replied quickly.

“I love you,” she whispered as his lips swept across hers, and he could feel her hands pushing her pantyhose down slightly.

            Their lips and bodies were feverishly attempting to make up for the time apart.

            “I love you back,” he said.

            Joey’s body felt light and weak as Dawson’s lips passed back and forth over hers and they hungrily clung to each other, trying to quickly satisfy their burning lust.  Dawson’s teeth grazed the skin and left indentations he then lapped up with his tongue. 

            “Dawson we don’t have time,” she whispered against him.  “Do it now.”

            Dawson drove immediately into her moist heat, his tongue plundered into her mouth as his lips held hers so there was no way to break free, and they mimicked their bodies with their mouths.  Joey had to tear her lips away to be able to concentrate on surviving the increasing passion inside her.  She cried out when his hands moved from her stomach down between her legs, touching her, drawing her closer to climax.  Leaning back against him, her hair cascading down her back and she constricted around him, brought him to his release as he clutched her against him for support in the drowning sensations.  Feeling her legs weaken after a few moments, she turned around to hug him, kiss him wetly on the lips as they sank together to the ground. 

            “Dawson,” she whispered against him, spent.  “Dawson, come on, we gotta get our act together, like…right now.”

            “Okay,” he said, standing up and pulling her with him.  “Try and look like you didn’t just have sex.”

            She laughed.  “Yes, you got it.”

            Dawson froze.  “We didn’t use protection.”

            She met his eyes.  “Dawson it’s too late, I’m pregnant.”

            Dawson couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that. 

            “Okay, fuck me, I’m sorry, let’s just get on that plane.”

           

            “Jen?”

            “Yeah?”

            “It’s Jo, we’re on the cruise.”

            “Are you happy?”

            “Fucking fantastic, how’s life at home?”

            “We’re all great.  The wedding was great, by the way.  I’m glad you’re happy with him.”

            “How could I not be?  I love you Jen, tell the gang I love them too and tell them one more thing…”

            “Oh what might that be Joey Potter?”

            “I’m pregnant.  Gotta go enjoy the view and the touch of my husband, love you girl.”

 

Chapter 3

 

            Two months passed by and Joey was nearly four months pregnant.  She was exhausted most of the time but working at the hospital was something she couldn’t get enough of.  She loved the science of her specialty and she was even beginning to pay off the debt of med-school.  Dawson’s movies were doing fine, he hadn’t had a smash hit yet, but everyone knew him anyway because how absolutely relentless he was.  Joey kept him going sometimes when he felt he was dreaming, Joey kept him from slowing down on his dream. 

            One morning Dawson was in the kitchen fixing himself coffee before he went to go work on the set when he heard Joey in excruciating pain and ran up the stairs to their bedroom to see if she was okay.  She was in the bathroom, pale and on the floor in a puddle.  He knelt down, taking her face in his hands.

            “Jo, baby, are you all right?”

            She just barely nodded, she had never felt so physically weak in her life.

            “Jesus, what’s wrong, is it the baby?”

            Joey shook her head and pulled herself up off the floor.

            “I think I need to call a doctor-“

            “I am a doctor, Dawson,” she said standing up.  “This is just really bad morning sickness.”

            At that minute Joey felt her stomach contracting and pushing upwards and she pulled herself up over the toilet, throwing up again.  Dawson held her body up as she did so.   His hands around her waist holding her since she was so tired she’d crumble to the ground if he let go.  She threw up so hard some of it came out of her nose.  She was really embarrassed by that but Dawson saw it and with a damp washcloth, wiped her mouth and nose clean, then gave her a tissue and while holding her waist with one hand, he told her to blow her nose into the Kleenex he held up to her. 

            “It’s okay, you’re okay,” he said when she was so sure she was going to die.  “Blow,” he said and she did.

            She obeyed and realized this was marriage.  It’s not all beauty, flirting, and romance.  Sometimes you felt like shit, looked like shit, and needed physical help regardless of how disgusting it was.  And he was taking such good care of her she’d cry if she had the energy because she certainly had the hormones. 

            “Joey, you are not okay, let me take you to the hospital.”

            “Dawson,” she said, brushing her teeth.  “There’s nothing anyone can really do for morning sickness.  It’s different with every woman and every pregnancy.  You tend to be more nauseas if your child’s female but that’s not a full proof bet.  But making a baby is hard work for any woman, and I’m just going through a hard part.”

            “I thought the hard part was giving birth.”

“That’s true.  And I promise to call you all sorts of bad names when I’m actually presenting this baby into the world but right now, I just feel like hell.”

“Well then I’m staying home today to take care of you.”

            She began to wash her face now, though so weak from throwing up she nearly collapsed and she fell to the floor. 

            “Jo!  Hey, come here,” he said, slipping an arm beneath her legs and gently lifting her up into the air and carrying her to their bed.  He got a washcloth and dabbed her face with hit.  “Baby, you’re scaring me.”

            “Don’t worry, I promise you it’s just morning sickness, just a really, really bad version of it.”

            “Then God’s a bitch to do this to women.”

            “Yeah, at this moment I agree with you.  Look, Dawson, you can’t cancel a day on the set.  Those people and that equipment are only available for so long and you can’t call in sick when you are an owner.  Just go, I’ll be fine.  I’ll call you if I need you again.  I’ll just go back to sleep and allow my body time to recover.”

            “You’re so pale, angel,” he said, caressing the side of her face.

            She was so weak and exhausted it was hard for her to keep her eyes open, let alone construct a sentence.

            “I’m gonna get you some water and a piece of toast cut into tiny pieces.  That’ll be easy on your system and give you the chance to have a bit of fuel in your body.”

            She barely heard him and fell directly to sleep the minute he stopped talking.  She woke up to her dismay when he came back into the room. 

            “Here ya go, baby,” he said, tilting the glass towards her mouth since she was too tired to hold it herself. 

            “Thank you,” she whispered when done drinking.

            He gave her a little square of a really healthy, rich with vitamins type of bread.  She made a disgusted noise when he held to her.

            “Jo, just try, if you can’t keep this down, I’ll stop, but food could really help you get some strength back.”

            She obediently took the piece of bread into her mouth but once she swallowed it instantly came back up and she spit it out in her hand.

            “K, my body doesn’t want anything inside of it at this moment,” she stated.  “Dawson, I’ll be fine, just set a towel by the bed here so if I throw up and can’t make it to the bathroom in time I won’t have ruined the rug.  Then go, I have your cell and I’ll call if something’s wrong.”

            “Honey I can’t-“

            “Dawson, please.  You know how much I hate to be babied.  I love you but you know what you have to accomplish in a short amount of time and this does happen to most women in most pregnancies.  So please don’t make me feel guilty by making you waste a ton of money by staying home with me when there’s really nothing you can do.”

            Dawson sighed, losing the battle.

            “All right, but if you don’t call me if there’s anything even remotely off about this nausea, I swear I’ll kill you myself.”

            She smiled with her eyes closed.  “I promise, just let me sleep.  I love you, go be brilliant.”

            He watched her instantly fall asleep, her breaths to instantly become soft and even and decided he would leave, allowing her body to rest. 

 

            “Oh dammit!” she cried, waking up to feel herself about to throw up again as she made a mad dash to the bathroom. 

            But even though her stomach contracted and pushed, there was nothing else in her stomach to rid so she was throwing up nothing.  She was sweating like hell with the dreams she’d just been inside of, and then she realized she was too tired to go crawl back to the bed.  Besides, with her luck, she’d probably vomit nothing again before the morning was over.  Joey lied down on the bathroom floor, the cool tiles against her face cooling her face off, giving her some relief.  She began to doze instantly again when she heard someone open the door.

            “Joey!”

            Without opening her eyes she knew it was Pacey.  She could kill Dawson for sending him to take care of her, to baby-sit her. 

            “Ohhh, dammit Pacey, he sent you here,” she moaned.

            “Yeah, and thank God he did,” Pacey said, getting down on the floor to her.  “Jesus Christ, come here,” he said, pulling her body up off the floor and carrying her to the bed.  “You’re warm,” he said.  “Let me get you some aspirin.”

            “No, you know I can’t take any drugs while I’m pregnant, it could affect the baby.”

            “Hon,” Pacey said.  “I think that with how much pain you’re in, your kid can’t be that happy.  Are you telling me that some aspirin for whatever this is is going to terminally damage your baby?”

            She would give anything to be out of this pain but she didn’t ever want to do anything to harm her child.

            “Let’s try some old fashion remedies then,” Pacey said.

            “Oh what would you know about old fashioned remedies?”

            “Let’s just say about a year ago Jack got sicker than anyone would ever like to even imagine and Emma taught me a few things.  First, hot chocolate.”

            Pacey’s cell phone rang.

            “Yeah…yeah Dawson I’m here.  She’s…well, alive and stubborn.  Yeah…I am, listen, I said I would…yep, okay…yeah here she is,” Pacey said handing Joey the cell phone.  “Don’t go anywhere,” he said.

            Joey smiled into the phone.  “You little sneak,” she flirted.

            “How do you feel?”

            “Bout the same.”

            “I’m calling every twenty minutes between takes so get used to it.”

            “The baby and I will be fine, I promise.  But I love you so much.  I don’t know if it’s hormones but I just want to thank you for every time you ever looked at me, for every word of love you ever gave me.”

            “Joey?”

            “Yeah?”

            “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

            She hung up Pacey’s cell phone and worked on breathing evenly to pass the stages of nausea.  Pacey came in a few minutes later with a vaporizer and hot chocolate.

            “Pacey, what are you doing?” Joey said, starting to sit up.

            “Well, if you suck this down it’ll help your throat, ease your stomach, and the vaporizer’s for getting air more easily into you.”

            Joey was too spent to argue.  She mechanically sipped the chocolate liquid that melted against her thirsty tongue.  She felt Pacey dab her face with a damp washcloth, ridding her face of perspiration. 

            “Thank you,” she whispered.

            “Sure, anytime,” he said, adjusting her on the bed more easily.  “What else can I do?”

            “I just need to sleep, I need to relax.  My body’s just working so hard to make this baby.”

            “Do you know what it is yet?”

            “We think it’s a girl.”

            “What do you mean, you think?”

            “Well the first sonogram photo, she was facing the wrong way, we couldn’t see, but the second one was more conclusive.  It’s about 90 percent sure.”

            “You thought of names?”

            Just then the phone rang.  Joey closed her eyes and Pacey answered.

            “Hello?”

            “Hi, who’s this?”

            “Bessie, this is Pacey, how are you?”

            “Great, how’s my sister?”

            “Sick.  But I’m taking good care of her.”

            “Is it the baby, is she all right?”

            “She’ll be fine, she says it’s just morning sickness.  And as soon as she wakes up from her nap I’ll have her call you, okay?”

            “All right, don’t let her forget.  And tell her I love her.”

            “Course Bessie,” Pacey said.

            “Thanks,” Joey breathed, her eyes still closed.

            “Not a problem.  I’m going to go downstairs and let you sleep, but if you’re nauseas or whatever else, scream and I’ll help you.”

            “I will,” she sighed.  “I used to hate you, you know.  Back when we were kids.”

            “I hated you too, you got on my goddamn nerves.”

            She exhaled a laugh and licked her dry lips.  “I never thought you’d ever apply yourself to anything and you thought I was some stuck up, prude, by the book tomboy.”

            “You were,” he stated.

            “Oh thanks,” she said sarcastically.  “Well, you and I pretty much hated each other because of Dawson.”

            “Got that right, you used to hang over him all the time.”

            “Oh yeah, how dare I,” she smiled.  “You and I had to learn to share him.  Our best friend.”

            Pacey nodded.  “And then we had to find a way to share you.”

            At that comment Joey’s eyes opened. 

            “I wasn’t something to share, I never wanted to be some possession you two used and handed back and forth.”

            “Jo I didn’t mean that.”

            “I know.  But it sounded bad.”

            “I think we both knew Dawson was the love of your life,” he stated gently.

            “Yes, I think we did too, but that didn’t lessen what we had.”

            Pacey brushed the back of his hand against her face and then went downstairs.  Dawson called his cell phone every twenty five minutes and every time Pacey assured Dawson everything was all right.  Eventually Joey got up, showered, changed, applied her makeup and got ready to go to the hospital.  Just as she was about to leave, Dawson came through the door.

            “You’re not thinking of working tonight,” he said, his eyes widened and shocked to see her in her uniform.

            “Dawson, you of all people know just because you’re sick you still have to work.”

            “Joey, you’re carrying a baby, this is not like having a migraine.”

            Joey smiled.  “Oh if I had a migraine you could be damn sure I wouldn’t be working, hell that would be worse than giving birth, but I do feel better now, and I’m not going to work a full shift tonight.”

            “Jo, you’re a cardio-surgeon, you’re not gonna know who might come into the OR tonight, it’s a full moon.”

            “The sooner I go, the sooner I come back.”

            He set his stuff down and opened his arms to her, which she gladly walked into.

            “Thank you,” she whispered.  “Thank you for taking care of me.  I love you so much.”

            He squeezed her body against his and breathed in her familiar scent.

            “I love you too, Jo.  Oh, you had your second sonogram yesterday and the doctor said she’d call with the sex of the baby,” he said, holding her hands and looking anxiously into her eyes.  “So is it a little you or a little me?”

            Joey wasn’t quite sure what he wanted so she shyly told him.

            “A little me,” she said in a tiny voice.

            A large smile came across his face as he ripped her body towards him for another embrace.

            “Thank God!” he said covering her face with tiny kisses.

            Tears fell from her eyes and she pulled away just enough to wipe her tears.

            “Dammit, hormones are the most frustrating thing,” she laughed and cried. 

            “Hey I like your hormones, female hormones can do the most incredible things to your body,” he said.

            “Oh yeah,” she agreed sarcastically.  “I literally almost committed suicide being on that birth control ring a few years back.  Loads and loads of fun.  Listen, Pacey said he’d come back tonight to hang with you, when I go to the hospital I’ll be sure to pick up the second sonogram, and I’ll take it easy on myself, I promise.”

            She reached a hand to his shirt and pulled him towards her for a hot, long, sensual kiss.  Pulling back she her lipstick along his lips and felt hers slightly swollen.

            “And if I’m not too tired tonight, there will be more where that came from,” she said.  “Oh, one more thing, Bessie called, Lily called, your mom called, Jen called, and Alexander called.  So return them for me, would you?”

            “Gladly.”

            “I love you.”
            “I love you too.”

 

Chapter 4

 

            Joey sat in a restaurant at the bar sipping a glass of wine.  She was a doctor and knew that drinking a little amount of alcohol while pregnant was perfectly fine and wouldn’t affect the baby at all.  Suddenly she noticed the guy sitting next to her looked excruciatingly familiar.

            “Excuse me,” she said so he’d face her and it was him…Eddie.  “Eddie,” she breathed, so stunned to see him.

            “Jo, oh my God, long time,” he said hugging her and she gladly returned the hug.

            “Jesus Christ, how’s it been?  How long has it been?  Ten years?”

            “Yeah,” he said.  “You saved my life and I saved your friend Audrey’s, remember?”

            “Oh yes, thank you for that by the way.  How’s your life?”

            “So much more than I thought it would be, and you’re half the reason.”

            “Eddie you had so much to give, you just had this major pain in the ass chip on your shoulder.”

            “Your faith in me was pretty much everything I ever had.”

            She smiled and placed her hand over his.

            “I had faith in you for a reason, I was right.”

            He noticed the wedding ring.

            “So who’d you end up marrying?” he asked.

            “Preppy guy I loved all my life you met a couple of times.”

            “Ah, right, guy we spent Christmas dinner with.”

            “Yeah.  And I’m pregnant with our first kid,” she said, rubbing her sixth month pregnant stomach.

            “And having a glass of wine,” he noted.

            “I’m a medical doctor, it’s not going to hurt the baby, not to worry.”

            “A medical doctor?  I always knew you’d be something incredible.”

            “You always were incredible.  And you’re still gorgeous, just so you know.”

            “So are you, I couldn’t even tell you were pregnant.”

            “Well, I’m facing the counter, not to you, trust me, she’s getting big.”

            “It’s a she?  What name are you going with?”

            “Hillary Lillian Potter Leery.”

            “Wow, have a name.”

            “Yeah, poor thing.  But I thought since I carried her and am going to be screaming in pain in three months the least she could do is carry my name as well.”

            “Yeah you always were a tough woman, one of the reasons I loved you.”

            “I loved you too and you broke my heart,” she teased, sipping her drink.  “So does any lucky woman have your heart now?”

            “As a matter of fact one does,” he smiled.

            “Ooh, fabulous,” she said.  “Are you happy?”

            “Yep.  You?”

            “Yeah.  You still look better than me and it’s aggravating as hell.”

            He chuckled.  “I never looked better than you.”

            “Oh yeah, right.  Listen, I actually have to go to my monthly appointment to check on the baby but I’m glad I saw you, and hope to again.  I wish you nothing but the best, Eddie.”

            She stood up and he followed, they gave a light hug and he kissed her on the cheek.

 

            “Bessie?”

            “Yeah.  How’d you know?”

            “Caller ID, what’s up?”

            “How’s my niece?”

            “Kicking actually, you know how to make them stop kicking?”

            “Why?  She wearing you out?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Where’s Dawson?”

            “It’s twelve noon here Bessie, he’s on the set making his movie.”

            “Can I come to the premiere?”

            “Yes, you know you can.”

            “I miss you honey.”

            Joey smiled into the phone.  “I miss you too.”

            “So do you like pregnancy?”

            “Sometimes, but my God the nausea the first four months nearly killed me.  I never knew how painful throwing up could be.”

            “Oh well it’s nothing compared to childbirth.”

            “I know, I’m starting to be fearfully afraid of that part of motherhood.”

            “Just make sure you take the drugs.”

            “Oh Bessie, that was never even a consideration, I want to be so numb that I won’t even be able to tell when I’m pushing.”

            “Okay kiddo, call me the second you feel anything approaching a contraction and I’m on the next plane out.”

            “I will.”

            “Hey Jo?”

            “Yeah?”

            “I love you and I’m proud of you.  You’ve become more than anyone who’s loved you could ever imagine.”

            “I love you too, Bess.  Thank you for that.  Thank you for loving me when I thought no one in the world did.”

            “I might’ve been partly responsible for you feeling that way and I’m sorry.”

            “It’s all right.  Those years we had to stick together, it taught me how life really was.”

            “No, that’s how life can be, Jo.  You can expect life to be better than that.  Let all the pain and regrets go and just be happy.”

            “I will, I am.”

            “Talk to you later.”

            “Night Bess.”

 

            When Dawson came through the front door he called for Joey instantly, letting her know he was home.  When he got no response he walked into the living room where he saw her sitting on the couch, leaning over so her she held her face in her hands, her elbows on her knees. 

            “Joey?  You all right?”

            He came over and sat on the coffee table across from her and removed her hands so he could see her face.  She’d been crying.

            “What is it?”

            “I just started thinking about my mother and the tears just came.”

            When he tried to pull her to him she pulled back.

            “No, Dawson, you don’t understand.  What if what happens to me happens to my baby?  What if something happens and I die and I leave her?”

            “You’re not gonna die-“

            “You don’t know that, no one can predict if I’m gonna get hit by a car or have a heart attack, no one can assure me for sure and I don’t want to have this baby if I’m gonna leave her.”

            He took her hands.  “Joey, look at me, LOOK at me,” he demanded and she did.  “No one can predict that for anyone.  Now if you want me to get a fortune teller to come tell you you’ll die at a ripe old age, I will, but Jo if you waste your time fearing you’re gonna die you’re not really living.”

            She gripped his hands and her eyes lowered, her wet lashes being the only part of her eyes he could see.  She exhaled.

            “I know you’re right, but God I don’t want to do to my child what my mother did to me.”

            “You won’t.  I promise you won’t.”

            She nodded, wiping her tears.  “You’re right, sometimes I just get so scared.  And having a baby is scary but I want it so badly.”

            “Well we’ve got three months left.”

            “And I’m just going to keep growing and growing until then,” she smiled.  “I’m gonna look and feel like hell.”

            “So will I, it’s all right,” he said.  “Let’s go to bed.”

            He helped her up off the couch and held her that night.

 

Chapter 5

 

            “You’re already dilated nine inches,” the doctor told Joey.

            “What?  I got here ten minutes ago and I’ve only had mild contractions for thirty minutes.”

            “They weren’t mild contractions, they just didn’t hurt you terribly.”

            “So can we give me the drugs before the pain starts to kill me?” Joey asked.

            “No, it’s too late.  You’re dilated completely, we’re gonna need you to start pushing in about another sixty seconds.  You’re one of the rare people who will give birth to their first child in less than hour.”

            That was music to Joey’s ears.  Dawson held her hand beside her.

            “You okay?” he asked.

            “Yeah, I can’t believe how much I’m not in pain.  I’m exhausted but I’m not in that much pain.”

            Following the next few minutes Joey pushed as hard as she could, four times and the baby was out.  By the time the baby was out she was sweating but leaned back and sighed in relief.

            “Oh my God,” she whispered, releasing her tight hold on Dawson’s hand. 

            She took a few breaths as Dawson wiped her face with a washcloth. 

            “I love you,” he said.

            “I love you too,” she said breathlessly.  “Are they cleaning her off?”

            She was too exhausted to look herself.

            “Yeah.”

            Joey tried to raise up so she could see the doctors.  “Is she okay?  Is she a girl?”

            “Yes, and she’s fine,” the doctor’s said.

            Joey laughed and cried.  “Thank God,” she said, reaching for Dawson.  “I love you so much,” she said.
            “I love you too,” he said, placing kisses all over her face.

            “Here’s your daughter,” the doctor said, placing the cleaned baby in Dawson’s arms.

            Joey smiled as she watched Dawson ooh and ahh over their daughter.  Joey asked the doctors to tell Bessie and the rest of the gang outside that she was okay. 

            “Can I see her?” Joey asked.

            “Yeah, here, Hillary, this is your Mommy,” Dawson said, putting his daughter in Joey’s arms. 

            Joey’s baby opened her eyes and looked up at Joey with a recognition that soothed and cheered her soul.  Her daughter’s eyes met hers and her baby knew her.  Hillary then yawned and closed her eyes.  Tears fell down Joey’s cheeks.

            “I love you…baby,” she whispered.  “I know you’ve spent nine months trying to get out and that you’re going to spend the rest of your life trying to get back in but I promise you I will keep you safe.  That I will give you my all.  Know my voice and know my love.”

            “I’m sorry to break this up but we need to take her so the both of you can get some rest,” the nurse told Joey.

            “All right,” Joey said.  “Just be careful with her.”

            “We will,” the nurse said, taking the tiny little being out of the room.

            A half hour later when Joey was finally able to relax, she reached for Dawson’s hand.

            “Go home and get some sleep, you’re exhausted, I know you are, baby.”

            He kissed her lips gently and wiped her face again with a cool cloth.

            “Are you all right?” he asked.

            “Yep, she didn’t tear, I didn’t need to be cut, it’s all over, everything’s fine.”

            “How can you be so calm?” he asked.  “I’m scared to death.”

            “You need to sleep,” she told him.

            “Oh I need to sleep?” he laughed.  “You’ve just done the hardest thing known to man and you’re taking care of me?”

            “This wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.  I guess the bad part was the pregnancy.  Jen’s pregnancy was my opposite.  She had no morning sickness and very little discomfort but it took her eighteen painful hours to deliver her child.  Karma I guess kicks you in the ass in different ways.”

            “Yeah well, like you said, every pregnancy is different.”

            Joey was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

            “Go home, Dawson.  Go get some sleep, you’re exhausted.  Come back in a few hours.  I’ll be here loving you.”

            “No,” he said.  “You sleep, I’m going to watch you.”

            She placed her hand over her stomach.

            “Thank God my stomach will start to go back to the way it was.  I’ll be able to see my feet again.  Dawson, don’t be stubborn, please go get some rest.”

            “All right, all right, just rest, get strong.  Are you in pain?”

            “Sore,” she whispered.  “And hungry but I’m too tired to eat right now.”

            “K, go to sleep.”

           

            Dawson left Joey’s hospital room and went to the nursery where he stood and watched his daughter for the next twenty-five minutes. 

            “Hey man,” Pacey said, lightly smacking Dawson on the back.  “Or should I start calling you, Dad?”

            “Please,” Dawson smiled.  “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

            “Yeah, how’s her Mom doing?”

            “Hopefully sleeping.”

            “She okay?”

            “Yep.  Like always she’s taking care of me still.”

            “It’s enough to drive ya crazy.”

            “Why don’t you go home and when Joey gets out of here we’ll have a party welcoming my daughter?”

            “Sure, I’ll call everybody, let them know what happened, what’s going on.  That she arrived.”

            “Thanks Pace.”

            Dawson heard his footsteps fade and kept his eyes on his sleeping daughter.

            “She’s beautiful,” Bessie said, coming up behind him.

            “Yeah, she is.  Just like her Mom.”

            “I never thought I’d see the day when my baby sister would be a mother.  I’m not going to hold her until Joey hands her to me, that’s how I want to do this, but you need to get some rest.”

            “You’re as bad as your sister.”

            “Oh, so she’s been nagging you too?  Well she’s right.  You both need to get some sleep.  If you want I’ll stay right here and watch over my niece until you come back, all right?”

            “I need to be near her, I just got to hold her for the first time.”

            “Okay, fine, I’m not going to tell you to leave your child but just come over here to the chairs and rest.  I’ll get you some coffee and something to eat.”

            “Where’s Mike?” Dawson asked.

            “Driving Pacey home.”

            “All right, Jen and Jack and planning to call Jo but give her a few hours of sleep.”

            “Sure,” Bessie said. 

            “I’ll be back in two hours,” Dawson said.  “I have my cell and beeper on as well as the home phone, call me if anything happens, good or bad.”

            “Promise,” Bessie said.

            When Dawson left her sight, she walked up to the glass window and looked at Hillary.

            “Your parents love you so much,” she whispered.  “I used to drive your mother crazy but you are now officially…the light of her life.  Your Mom and Dad will love each other and drive each other up the wall throughout your lifetime, but they have never been able to help loving each other, and they will never be able to help loving you.  You’ve come into this world very loved and you always will be.”

            A nurse came out and saw Bessie.

            “Are you a parent?”

            “No, I’m an Aunt,” Bessie smiled.  “Hillary Lillian, how’s she doing?”

            “Every baby in there is beautiful and healthy.”

            “Good.”

 

            Two weeks later Joey sat in her living room with Mike, Pacey, Jack, Andie, Audrey, CJ, Jen, Gale, Bodie, Lily, Alexander, and Bessie as well as Dawson, holding her baby. 

            “Can I hold her?” Bessie said.

            “Yeah,” Joey said, handing her baby gently to her sister.

            “Oh hi,” Bessie said to the baby’s face.  “I’m your Aunt Bessie.  I love you,” she said. 

            Jen took a picture and the light flashed through the room. 

            “Whoa,” Joey said, blinking.  “Jeez, have a flash.”

            “Sorry,” Jen said.

            “No it’s okay, this I actually will want photos of.  Please take as many as possible, Jen.  I’ll pay.  She’s only gonna be this age once.”

            “Can Uncle Pace have a turn?” Pacey asked.

            “In a minute,” Bessie said, not wanting to let go of her niece. 

            “Okay, we all need to play a game as we pass her around,” Joey announced. 

            “You’ve gotta get some sleep because tomorrow night’s the premiere of Summer Sisters,” Mike told his daughter.

            “I know,” she whined, sitting on the couch in her jeans, sweat socks and a sleeveless, loose shirt with her hair up in a twist.  “And I wanna go, I’m the one that talked Dawson into directing that movie but I don’t wanna leave my baby yet.”

            “Well neither do I but you’re going with me,” Dawson said. 

            “The photographers are gonna-“

            “Jo, enough whining, you’ll teach your daughter bad things doing that,” Bessie laughed.

            “Shut up, Bessie,” Jo smiled.  “Let’s play poker.”

            “Are you nuts?” Jack said.  “We’re not gonna play poker, we’re gonna play with your baby.”

            “Hey, she is truly a teeny tiny little thing so she needs to go get some sleep in about five minutes so I suggest you pass her around more quickly.”

            “All right,” Bessie said, handing Hillary to Pacey. 

            Jen snapped a few more shots of Pacey making a goofball out of himself, holding and talking to the baby.  Joey yawned and leaned over on Dawson’s shoulder. 

            “Tired?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her.

            “Yes,” she yawned.  “But I’ll hang in there a few more minutes,” she said reaching for her yogurt on the table.  “General Hospital’s gonna be on Soapnet in a few minutes, gotta make sure I don’t miss that.”

            Dawson rolled his eyes. 

            “She watches soaps?” Jack asked.

            “Two!  All right, sue me,” Joey said. 

            Jen was holding the baby now, caressing its face lightly with her fingertips.

            “I wish you’d brought Julia,” Joey said.

            “She’s a year and a half and I couldn’t fly five hours with her Jo, couldn’t do it.”

            “I hear ya,” Joey said, drinking her orange juice.

            “What are you, on some health kick?” Pacey asked.

            “Yeah, I’m trying to be really healthy.  I work and I raise a kid and I’m a celebrity’s wife.  I have to be strong.”

            “Oh, speaking of which, Jo, I need you to be in one of my movies.”

            Joey did a spit-take at that comment.  She wiped her chin and looked at him.

            “Excuse me?”

            “Uh oh,” Jack said.  “I sense some tension coming on here and I ask you both to stop and breathe before you discuss this any further in front of all your guests.”

            Joey couldn’t help but laugh at Jack. 

            “I’ll only do it if it’s only slightly more than an extra’s part,” Joey told Dawson.  “I’m not an actress.”

            “No, but you can act,” he said.

            She gave him the look.  “Says who?”

            “Says me.”

            “Fine, we’ll flip for it,” she said, pulling out a quarter and tossing it up in the air.  “Call.”

            “Heads.”         

            When it landed, Dawson won.

            “Crap,” she laughed.  “Well that went well.”

            They laughed and shared time with each other for another two hours, all having missed each other desperately.  Pacey was the only other one who lived in California.  The rest had flown in to be with the entire gang again.  Lily and Gale were going back to Capeside in the morning, Mike and Bessie tomorrow evening, Jen, Andie, and Jack in another two days.  Audrey…God knows with her.

            “You’ll be an actress in five seconds and then guess what, they’ll be naked pictures of other women posted with your head all over the net,” Audrey laughed.

            “Oh thanks,” Joey laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn at her.  “Okay,” Joey said, standing up.  “I love you all but I gotta get myself to bed so I can get my ass up in the morning to go to the hospital and then come home, nap, and then go to the premiere.”

            “Yep, everybody, let’s start heading out,” Jen said, standing up. 

            Joey and Dawson gave hugs and kisses to everyone, along with promises of a remake of this night and best wishes.  Joey hugged Alexander and Lily.

            “Love you guys so much,” she said, kissing them both on the head.

            “Love you too, Jo,” Lily said.

            Once everyone was filtered out of the house, Dawson took Joey to bed, where she dreamed of how this all started. 

 

            Joey was broke so she couldn’t take a flight.  She had transferred to San Francisco last year and was turning twenty-eight tomorrow.  She got in the car and refused to stop until she’d reached him.  She was so tired of delaying what she’d always wanted, waiting for it to somehow happen.  She would now make it happen.  She would drive all night until she got to him and she would become a part of him forever.  She had the accelerator to the floor as she went through the long highways in the late hours of the night, nothing and no one around.  She put the top down in her convertible and took off her shirt and bra, letting the midnight air flow over her skin, the wind blow her hair as she sang with the radio. 

            Celine Dion’s “I Drove All Night” came on and Joey thanked God for giving her this song at this moment and she sang along.

 

“I had to escape
The city was sticky and cruel
Maybe I should have called you first
But I was dying to get to you
I was dreaming while I drove
The long straight road ahead
Uh-huh, yeah
Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide
This fever for you was just burning me up inside

I drove all night to get to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night

What in this world keeps us from falling apart?
No matter where I go
I hear the beating of our one heart
I think about you when the night is cold and dark
Uh-huh, yeah
No one can move me the way that you do
Nothing erases this feeling between me and you

I drove all night to get to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night...”

 

            She sang to various songs all night long, each love song speaking directly to her heart, directly to what she was feeling for Dawson.  That spark that initiated when she was a child that would explode inside her so much that when he would walk into a room and not see her, she had to leave to be able to survive.  He never noticed, not until she told him.  She knew that the possibility of going to France was what made him see that he loved her, and when he did, he told her he’d always loved her.  But after that, it was none stop chaos for their love, it went up and down, they buried it and analyzed it to death. 

            In the back of both their minds they both figured they’d be together in the end, and to let fate take it’s course.  But Joey, though believing somewhat in fate, also believed in free will and was choosing to finally use it.  The wind blew against her bare flesh, encouraging goosebumps on her tanned skin.  She prayed a cop wouldn’t drive by and not only give her a ticket for speeding but for being half nude as well. 

            She remembered her first kiss with Dawson…her first real kiss, when he grabbed her and kissed her.  She remembered how shocked she was when his lips touched hers.  She remembered when he pulled back and she looked at him, about to cry and he kissed her again.  She thought when he called her name and grabbed her arm that he was going to give her some other stupid speech telling her all the reasons she shouldn’t go to Paris leaving out the only reason in the world why she would want to stay, but he didn’t, and he showed her instead of telling her.  That was truly one of the most defining moments, one of the most intense moments of her life…and people could call it teenage angst but it was so much more than that. 

            Joey smiled at the memory as she rested her arm against the car and leaned her head into her hand.  The wind was too extreme though and she had to put her hair up.  Pulling over she put her hair up and applied some makeup so she wouldn’t look like death when she finally got there.

 

            Joey pulled over to eat a little and drink the coffee she’d brought, which was now cold.  She didn’t care though.  She was on a mission.  But she was giving herself five minutes to just sit back and relax…

 

            She sang more songs and passed more roads and houses than she could count, and finally she was getting towards the rich part of L.A. where Dawson’s rich little shack was located.  Joey pulled into the driveway and hopped out of the car instead of opening the door.  Turning back around immediately she dove into the backseat where her purse was and pulled her hair out of the ponytail, brushed it, re-applied basic makeup and headed for the door.  It was just about five in the morning.  She rang the doorbell and inhaled the fresh morning air. 

“Come on, Dawson, open the door,” she whispered as she continued to knock.

Finally she heard footsteps and stopped knocking.  She was so damn bubbly she could hardly stand still.  When the door opened and she saw his face, she placed her hands on his shoulders and pulled him to her, clamping him against her for an embrace.  He was still half asleep and now…confused.  He slowly hugged her back.

            “Jo?” he asked, wondering if something was wrong.

            “Shh, yeah,” she said, just reveling in the feeling of this embrace. 

            Eventually she pulled back and looked at him, then laughed.

            “I drove,” she said.

            “You drove?”

            “Yeah, I drove all night to get here, to you.”

            “Why?  Is something wrong?”

            “No, did I wake you?”

            “Not really.”

            She was just gonna say it.

            “Dawson, let’s just…let’s get married, let’s be together.  I was thinking about us and how nothing ever gets rid of this feeling that’s between us and I just want to be with you and stop waiting for something to bring us together.  I wanted to bring us together.”

            When he didn’t immediately say anything, she grabbed his face and kissed him.  She didn’t give him much of a chance to kiss back but she made it clear what her feelings were.  When her lips left his she closed her eyes and pulled him to her again, running her fingers lightly in his hair.  But when she opened her eyes and saw into his house, she saw someone sleeping on his couch, a woman, and she pulled back.

            “Oh my God,” she said, turning around quickly, so he wouldn’t see how totally fucking embarrassed she was.

            He put his hands on her shoulders.  “Jo-“

            She shook his hands free.  “Oh my God, no no, don’t touch me.  Is that some random woman you just slept with?  An actress or producer or something?”

            He was so damn confused by this flash of lifelong wishes and fantasies that it took him a minute to come up with an answer.

            “Uh, yeah, sort of.  But Joey-“

            “No no,” she said, turning around.  “Please don’t defend yourself or explain anything to me.  I could’ve picked up a phone like a normal person.”

            “Do you wanna come inside?”

            “NO!  No I think I kinda just want the floor to swallow me,” she said, putting her hands over her eyes.  “I don’t know, Dawson, I don’t know.  I don’t know why I got in the car and why I showed up here at five in the morning uncalled for, I’m sorry.  I think I’m just gonna get back in my car-“

            “No, don’t do that, just come with me,” he said, grabbing her arm and dragging her somewhere.

            As she walked beside him, she cringed and really would’ve preferred being hit by a truck than this.  He took her into the house through another door and then let go of her arm.  It looked like they were in a laundry room or something.  Joey’s face was burning up and when he turned a light on she turned away again.

            “Dawson, I’m embarrassed as hell, can we just leave it at that?”

            “No, I can’t exactly just forget what you just told me.”

            “You’re with someone else and you have that right, and I just asked you to marry me when you’re with another woman-“

            “Jo, for God’s sakes!”

           

            Joey awoke.  It was dark, where the hell was she?  Oh my God, it was just a dream.  She hadn’t reached his place yet.  She was close but she’d had to pull over.  She looked at the clock and realized she’d only been asleep for a half hour.  She pushed away her uncomfortable thoughts about the dream she just had and put the accelerator on the floor, determined to reach Dawson.

           

            And finally she was there, really there.  She parked outside his gates and there wasn’t a light in the house on.  Course for the time it was, that wasn’t unusual.  Joey wanted to surprise him so she grabbed hold of the bars of the gate and climbed up and over them, thankful she’d been a tomboy all her life.  When she was on the inside of the property she let go of her grip and landed on the ground, hard.  She looked at the beautiful house, it having been forever since she’d been inside it.  But she still knew her way around it.  Going around to the back of the house, she saw a ladder up to a part of the roof and smiled.  Maybe like her Dawson had fantasized about being young and having this part of his life back.  Now if the window was open, she was set.

            And it was a hot, sticky night.  There wasn’t as much humidity on the west coast as on the east but tonight you wouldn’t know that.  She grabbed onto the ladder and climbed up.  His window was open as usual.  She climbed inside as quietly as she could and walked over to see his sleeping form.  She sat down on the bed slowly, and caressed his face with the back of her hand.  He twitched slightly in response.  Then his eyes opened.

            They saw her, they just didn’t acknowledge her presence.

            “Dawson?”

            “Yeah, hey,” he said, now awakening.  “What are you doing here?”

            “I drove.”

            “In the middle of the night?”

            “All night.”

            “Is everything okay?” he asked, sitting up and turning the light on.

            “No don’t,” Joey said, stopping his hand.  “Don’t turn the light on.  This is how I want to say this.  Dawson, you did have me.”

            He wasn’t awake yet, and he was confused.

            “What are you talking about?”

            “When we were seniors and you looked at me and told me you didn’t get me.  You did, you got more of me than anyone else ever has and I can’t believe I didn’t make sure you knew that.”

            “And you drove a few hundred miles to tell me that?”

            “No, that’s only part of it.  You say I never do anything crazy, well wait, because this is going to be crazy.”

            “All right.”

            She sighed.

            “The summer I went away with Pacey, before that, at your parent’s wedding, you told me that I had a chance to go to Paris and that you stopped me.  That you wanted me with you and that you were selfish.  You told me to go and I did.  I went because I had feelings I couldn’t really understand for someone other than you.  But Dawson, I never ever fell out of love with you.  I have been in love with you all my life, pretty much whether I wanted to be or not.  I was lucky though to be able to experience love with other people and I have loved.  I’ve had the time of my life being in love with a few others than you, but at the end of the day it’s you I want to see.  When I wake up it’s you I want to see.  I lied to you about sleeping with Pacey because on some very large level, I still wanted my first time to be with you, and I wanted your first time to be with me.  Not that I regret sleeping with Pacey, but what I regretted was not having slept with you.  Not having that first connection with you.  So many of my firsts were with you Dawson, I still don’t know how we both slept with other people.  And then finally we did, finally we were together, and nothing felt so right.  I know I ended us there and I know since then we have gotten together off and on but I want that to stop now.”

            If she was saying what he thought she was, then he’d fantasized about this moment more times than he cared to recall.

            “Dawson I love you.  I want to marry you, I want to move my career to wherever you are and be with you.  Give me the chance to make you as happy as you make me.  I know that there are a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t do anything as crazy as this and that there’s only one reason to do it, but that one reason is all I can think about, all I can want.”

            There was an awkward silence then, and Joey feared she’d gone too far.

            “Dawson,” she said, looking down in embarrassment.  “Please say something.  I had a dream about telling you when I pulled over on the side of the road to doze for a few and I think I said and did it so much better in my dream.”
            “How did the dream end?”

            “With me proposing and then seeing you had an actress in your bed.”

            “Come with me,” Dawson said, getting up and taking her hand.  “Come with me to the roof.”

            He went out of the window and pulled her out with him.  They sat down together like they used to at his parent’s house.

            “I’m old fashioned, Jo,” he said, and she feared the answer was going to be a polite and practical no.  “So let me get a ring and do it my way, the traditional way.”

            Joey sucked in a breath as tears poured from her eyes.

            “You still love me?” she gasped.

            He took her face in his hands.

            “I never stopped.”

            She closed her eyes and exhaled, her face falling to his shoulder.

            “Oh my God,” she sighed in relief.  “At the prom when Pacey lashed out at me and you ran after me and put your suit jacket around me, even though there were a hundred things going through my mind I…remember knowing at that moment that there was something in me that is completely owned by you, and how proud I was to be worthy of your love.  Your best friend that I’d fallen in love with had finally pushed me away and when you could’ve so easily said I told you so, you put your hands around me upper arms and listened.  I could feel your breath on the back of my neck.   I could feel the warmth in your jacket because you’d been wearing it.  I could smell your cologne and I didn’t just feel comfort, I felt your strength rush into me through your touch.  I loved you so much in that moment, almost as much as I love you in this one,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around him loosely.  “Thank you for loving me, Dawson.”

            He rocked her, wrapping his strong arms around her tired form.  They lied down on the roof and looked up at the sky.

            “Goddammit, don’t you know that the only thing I can do is love you?  You remember the fantasy?  You just gave it to me.  I love you.  And you’ve got me from now until always, got that?”

            “Yes, and I’m gonna keep you this time.”

            “Good because you don’t have a choice.”

            She rolled to her side and faced him.    

            “I need you to make love to me now,” she whispered.

            “Gladly,” he said, pulling her over him.

Then he pressed forward and kissed her.  The insistent pressure of his lips pried hers apart; his tongue plunged into her mouth and greedily explored the wet depths within.  Alarm exploded deep inside Joey and she sat up over him long enough to pull her shirt over her head in one fluid motion…right before she felt a sudden influx of concentrated power.  A surge of desire injected itself into her bloodstream, setting her on fire for him.  The jolt of impact was just as tremendous for him as for her.  She fisted the front of Dawson’s shirt and pulled him to her, sucking hungrily at his wet mouth, never wanting to release it.

Tension uncoiled inside her like a knot finally being untied.  Without thought, Joey crawled more sufficiently on top of Dawson, her legs straddling his lap.  Her mouth came down on his with crushing force, her tongue thrust between his strong lips, her hips rolled into his lower body. Joey shoved a hand between their bodies and started undoing Dawson’s pants, but she couldn’t move fast enough.  The sharp thirst between her legs needed sedation…immediately.  Dawson began peeling off her clothes as she worked at his.

With one rapid movement, he arched her back so he could more easily feast on her bare breasts.  He sucked one nipple ruthlessly into his mouth and pleasure cracked through her, sparkling inside her like champagne.  She pulled him up to her so they were both sitting up, she just happened to have her very nude body over his.

“I love you,” she promised, touching her forehead with his.  “Touch me, Dawson.”

Her waiting had become unbearable.  Joey hoisted her hips up so she could gently lower herself over him, feeling the tip of him slide along her desire-slicked entrance.  Closing her eyes in the pure midst of pleasure, she let the sexual ripples lick through her, flooding her body up into a wet heat.  She lifted herself up and slowly sank over him, taking her time, letting the familiarity of this come back to her and steal her senses.

            Her nails dug into his hard shoulders and when he couldn’t take it anymore he grabbed her waist and threw her down and climbed on top of her, keeping himself safely embedded inside her.  He drove harder into her and she could feel his pulse deep inside her as she raked his back with her long fingernails, tilting her head back in abandon, arching herself up against him.  Joey surged herself upwards to meet his thrusts, driving herself closer and closer to her blinding release.  Positioning himself above her, he plunged into her with a hard, deep stroke, sending them both over the edge.

 

            “You still wanna marry me,” he asked, a few minutes later.

            “The question is will you still have me?” she asked. 

            He didn’t reply right away and that terrified her.  She turned over on her stomach to face him.

            “Let me Dawson, please.  Choose me, love me and I promise you I will give you everything I’ve got if you’ll just love me again, despite all the teenage crap and the early twenties stupidity crap and give me another chance.” 

            Tears clouded up in her eyes and he had never seen her plead for anything so insistently.  She crawled over on top of him, resting her head on his chest, her hand lightly tracing over his torso, her thick hair sprawled out over his shoulders.

            “I love you,” she whispered, but said nothing more.

            “Don’t you know that you’re safe with me?  Don’t you know by now that you’ve got me?”

            Her tears fell onto his skin.

            “I’m going to try to believe it, I have to learn to believe in that.  Else I’ll never trust anything.  But I trust you and I will make you trust me.”

            “You really drove here to marry me?”

            She lifted her face up to look at him.

            “Yeah, I drove all night.”

 

            Many hours later she walked into the premiere of Dawson’s film, her baby at home with a nanny.  She and Dawson waved and he got photos taken with the stars that were in his movies as she quietly stood by, smiling and enjoying the media he was getting.  When they were finally done with the screaming fans and paparazzi, they went in and watched the movie together, and she cried at the ending.  She could cry at movies, but she knew happiness and was experiencing it, forever.

 

Written:  May 9^th, 2003