| Tenchi Muyo Freaky Friday Parody |
| I awoke one morning feeling... weird. At first I just figured I had had too much sake the night before---that was nothing new. But then I realized how wrong I was. First of all, I wasn't in my bedroom. Ho, no. However, I did know where I was, and that was why I was scared. I was in Washuu's lab. My first thought was, Oh my God! She snatched me from my warm, cozy bed in the middle of the night and performed diabolical and inhumane experiments upon me while I slept! But Washuu was nowhere to be seen. And I felt fine. A little weird, yes, but I could simply be a bit tired. Ah, well. I suppose it wasn't important. However, there were important things on my mind. Like the fact that I really had to pee. Hurrying out of the lab, I headed for the bathroom. After relieving myself, I washed my hands. As I dried them on a towel, I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I screamed. No. This was impossible. No, it was freaky. Disturbing. Just plain wrong. "Dear God! I'm in my mom's bod!" I shrieked. For it was true. Somehow, someway, I was in the body of the greatest scientific genius in the universe, Washuu. "Okay... calm down, Ryoko," I muttered to myself. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation to this... In fact..." That was when it dawned upon me. "Washuu!" Yes, that freakish so-called mother of mine must have used her twisted genius mind to somehow switch our bodies! Meaning that she was in my body! No! Nobody's allowed to be me except me! I was quite angry at that mad little scientist, oh yes. I tore out of the bathroom and dashed up the stairs. I pounded on my bedroom door. "Washuu, open up this instant! You hear me?!" The door opened, and sure enough, there stood me, looking very tired and very irritated. "What do you want, Washuu? I'm trying to sleep." Ah! So she wanted to play that way, huh?! Pretend that she was actually me?! How dare she! That evil little bucket of scum! If she weren't in my body I'd kill her! "Washuu, tell me what the hell you did to me!!!" Washuu/me stared at me. "Are you feeling all right, Washuu? Why do you keep calling me Washuu?" "Don't play dumb! I'm Ryoko and you know it!" Washuu/me continued to stare at me as though I was insane. "Maybe you should get some more sleep or something. You seem confused. Anyways, I'm going back to bed." And she closed the door. She was getting on my nerves very fast. It was bad enough that she switched us... at least she could act like herself! This was so unfair. Then I suddenly realized something. If she was gonna be me, I'd get to be her. And since Washuu's techinically me mum..... I grinned. I had such a devious and diabolical idea, only I could have thought of it. Oh ho ho, my idea was so evil that it beat all other evil ideas! And it was gonna be fun. I knocked on my bedroom door again. Again, Washuu, who was in my body, opened the door. I put my hands on my hips and glared at her. "Young lady, you should have been up ten minutes ago! Your breakfast is cold and if you don't hurry, you're going to miss the bus!" She stared at me. "Washuu, there's no specific time I have to get up, you can't cook worth beans, and I don't even go to school. And even if I did, today's Saturday." "Don't backtalk your mother, Ryoko!" I scolded. "Move! C'mon! Get yer butt downstairs and get ready for school." Giving in, she walked past me and headed down the stairs, muttering something about me being insane. I grinned. Oh, today was gonna be fun. I headed down the stairs behind her, grinning and chuckling to myself. However, my gleeful mood was swept out the window when I entered the living room. That body-snatching twit was talking to Tenchi! She was actually talking to my Tenchi! How dare she! She isn't allowed to speak to him while she is in my body! She could say something to make him hate me forever! Oh, the inhumanity! I did the only possible thing. I grabbed a great big stick. "GET AWAY FROM TENCHI!" I shouted, beating her over the head with the stick. The evil one in my body pushed me away roughly, rubbing her head. "What was that for?!" Tenchi was staring at me as though I were mad. I stared innocently back at her. "What was what for? Whatever did I do, Little Ryoko? And say, aren't you late for school?" "Will you drop the stupid school thing?!" she screamed. "That's no way to speak to Mommy!" I screamed back. "Go to your room!" Muttering under her breath, she stalked off up the stairs and went into my room, slamming the door. Tenchi was still staring at me as though I were mad. I giggled. I was having a ball. The I realized something. Washuu had left me in her body, and everyone thought I was here, therefore I could do whatever I wanted to in her lab and not get blamed in the end! I laughed out loud. I could trash her lab! Oh joy! Oh rapture! It would be a wonderful way to pay back that evil little... um... person. I skipped off to Washuu's lab and went inside, shutting the door. Grinning gleefully once again, I looked around for something to trash. "Ah ha!" I skipped over to some big machine-type thing. What it was I do not know. What I did know was that it was big, made out of some sort of metal, and very very bright green. Oh yeah. And it looked kinda like a washing machine. I giggled. Picking up the big stick I had used to bash Washuu/me over the head with, I attemped to ruin the big green thing. However, although I pounded with all my might, not one dent appeared in the surface of the thing. "Okay, ya Jolly Green Giant!" I shouted. "You're goin' down!" I jumped on top of the green washing machine-type thing and beat on it with the big stick as hard as I could. I stomped on it. I jumped up and down on it. I banged on it with my forehead (Or should I say Washuu's forehead. Ha ha!). However, the green thing just wouldn't dent. "I give up." Okay, so I couldn't wreck Washuu's lab. Big deal. I could still make her life miserable. Because she deserved it for being so evil and spiteful! I never asked to get stuck in her crappy little body. She was mean and... um... mean to switch us around! Well, she wasn't gonna get away with it, no Siree-Bob! It was then that I began to develop what I liked to call The Most Evil Plan To Get Back At The Dirty Little Body-Theif Ever. I worked all morning developing my plan and building the necessary machinery. I guess Washuu didn't leave me with any of her genius qualities, so I prayed with all my might that whatever the contraption I constructed turned out to be would be affective in torturing Washuu/me. It was a happy time for me when I completed my masterpiece. Constructed of cardboard, Popsicle sticks, and duct tape, my little device was sure to work perfectly. Giggling rather insanely, I crept out of the lab with the thing under my arm. I peeked around the corner and saw the spiteful Washuu/me watching Invasion of the Body Snatchers with a big Band-Aid on her head. I mean my head. Oh, whatever! I snuck up behind her. Ryo-Ohki, who was munching on a carrot near Washuu/me, meowed at me. "Shhh!" I scolded. "Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Washuu!" Ryo-Ohki stared at me. Man, what was up with these people and their staring? As I was saying, I snuck up behind Washuu/me, gripping the weird thing I had made tightly. A little closer... a little closer... Ah ha! I was in perfect range! Swift as a rabbit (or a cabbit), I plopped the thing down on the scum-bucket's head, whipped out the cardboard remote control, and pressed the button drawn on in pencil. Most unfortunately, extremly painful bolts of electricity did not fry her brain. Why couldn't I be a genius like her?! Then I could've made the stupid thing work. Washuu/me stood and stared at me. Again with the staring thing! It was disturbing. "Um, Washuu, are you sure you're feeling okay? 'Cause... you've been acting weird today. And this is just too bizarre." "Bizarre? Bizzare?! I'll tell you what's bizarre!" I shouted. "What's bizarre is that you devised some twisted, sick, diabolical plan in that oversized brain of yours and switched our bodies! And quite frankly, I don't like it! Now, you'd better switch us back real soon here, 'cause I'm sick of being in your crappy little body! And besides, I'm running out of good insults to call you, you... spiteful person, you!" The Evil One In My Body grinned and crossed her arms across her chest. "But I'm having so much fun being you, Ryoko! In fact, I think I'll stay you forever!" "No! No! Please, Washuu! I'll do anything, anything! Just switch us back!" I was begging, on my knees, pleading. It was humiliating. "Not just yet. Have fun as me, Ryoko-channies!" She grinned and dashed away. God, that woman is evil! She called me Ryoko-channies!!! I cannot describe how totally wrong that is. Heck, this whole thing was wrong! What in her freakish mind could have caused her to even think of dong this?! And when was she gonna give me back my body?! I sighed and sat down. Invasion of the Body Snatchers was still on. I laughed. It was so insane. So completely insane. And yet... quite depressing. "Washuu, you evil little... um... person!" I muttered. "Your brain is too big for your own good, you... um... scummy little... uh... person." I slapped myself on the forehead. "Dangit! I can't even think of any good insults anymore!" Tenchi poked his head around the corner. "Um, Washuu, if you're feeling a little less... ah... weird, lunch is ready." "Oh goodie!" I said, jumping to my feet. "Let me guess, we're having something that's unidentifiable because it got burned badly because Sasami asked Mihoshi to assist her in preparing the food?" He stared at me. Argh! Stop the staring! "How did you know?" I sighed. "That's the way my life works these days, Tenchi, my boy. I'm not that hungry." I went into Washuu's lab and sat down on the floor, thinking. How on Earth was I going to get Washuu to switch us back? I had some fun in the beginning, but the truth was, it was starting to get boring being Washuu. I wanted to be me again. Scary thing was, I was starting to feel like I was never really Ryoko, like I was always like this. "Argh! Stop thinking such thoughts!" I scolded myself as I banged my forehead on the floor. "This is some sort of insanity. When will the insanity end?! WHEN WILL IT END?!" Dear Lord, I was going mad. I needed to get back in my own body, and fast. I didn't belong in Washuu's body. I wasn't Washuu! I could never even pretend to be Washuu, the annoying little greatest genius in the universe mother of mine. Besides, being my own mother was a very creepy thought indeed. "Washuu," I muttered through gritted teeth, "I don't care what you're doing right now. Switch us back before I lose my mind!" I blinked. Odd. All of a sudden I was sitting at the table with everyone else, eating lunch. The only one absent was Washuu. Thank the heavens! No, thank Washuu! I was saved! She had switched us back! "Hallelujiah!" Tenchi stared at me (I don't believe it! WHEN DOES IT END?!) strangely. "Ryoko, why did you just shout 'hallelujiah'?" "You called me Ryoko!" I said, ecstatic. "Um, yeah... what else would I call you?" "Oh, you are a joy to behold!" I squeezed Tenchi very tightly, giggling. Tenchi made a face. "First Washuu, now her. Sheesh..." "That's me, crazy ol' Ryoko!" I giggled some more. The door to Washuu's lab opened, and she came out. She grinned at me. "YOU!" I leapt to my feet. "You evil little freak! What did I ever do to you?!" She grinned some more. "That's no way to talk to Mommy, is it, Ryoko-channies?" "ARGH!" I began chasing Washuu about the room, screaming obscenities while she laughed like a maniac. Actually, I think she was explaining how she switched us as she ran for her life, but I didn't hear her. Tenchi was yelling at me to stop chasing Washuu, Ayeka was yelling at me to stop being so immature, and I was, as I said, screaming obscenities at my dearest mum at the top of my lungs. Ah, life was normal again. You know what would be scary, though? If one day I woke up in Tenchi's body... Agh! I'm not even gonna think about that. |
| By Aiko-chan |
| Note From Author: |
| Okie dokie. Now, this story is a parody of the book Freaky Friday. If you've never read it, then let me just say that it's about a girl whose mother switched their bodies (and wouldn't tell her how) to show her daughter that her life wasn't as easy as she thought it was. So that's what this story is about, except that in this story, the mother simply switched bodies with her daughter either because she was bored or because she felt like being evil ^_^ Disclaimer: (Guess I gotta put this in, huh?) All Tenchi Muyo! characters are (c) AIC and Pioneer, etc, etc... Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed the story. Oh yeah, the story Freaky Friday is (c) Mary Rodgers, and this is just a weird-o parody. |